Dear Community
I was diagnosed with breast cancer - a significantly large tumour described as 'aggressive' - was found in my right breast in January of this year. I suppose I feel ever since then that a huge truck has collided into me. You will perhaps know the feeling. Im on my own and feel very frightened alot of the time (i have lovely friends but it isnt the same as having someone close). The horrors of chemo and the cold cap and side affects such as nausea are all on going and Im trying desperately to be as brave as I can. I do know that the nausea, hair loss and the PICC line are all reversible.
However my main concern is Ive had a right mastectomy (skin sparing nipple sparing) but feel horribly disfigured as a result. At the same time as the surgery I was given an implant which was supposed to offer a reconstruction. However this went badly wrong involving an infection & removal of the implant - none of my requests were taken into consideration and I am now horribly conscious of what they have done.
I had wanted a double mastectomy to alleviate my on going anxieties (I have a strong family history) but also i thought asthetically i would be more able to cope - i didnt mind loosing any volume (Im quite small in any case) but being left with one normal breast and one that is now (with a temporary implant) completely mishapen and miscoloured due to the infection just feels so awful and I cant seem to get past it. The male surgeon involved (in the NHS) seemed completely unable to appreciate my distress and suggested that more saline to increase the volume on the right side would fix things - this is clearly nonsense and I have stopped seeing him. The entire team have been male so far which I think I have found pretty intimidating.
I have now consulted two surgeons (this time both female) one private and one private and NHS.They both immediately said it was entirely reasonable for me to feel significantly upset by the result and they can see why Im looking for assistance.
I have more chemotherapy to go so nothing can be done immediatey.
Does anyone have any helpful advice or thoughts they can offer of their own experience?
Im feeling pretty desperate
thank you so much for reading
Krissi