I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months ago, I was told they couldnt operate last october because the tumour was close to the muscle wall and it was 50mm, which i would need a CT for protocol to see what was happening elsewhere, I was given Zoladex and Tomoxifen after being passed onto an oncologist because they had found lung nodules and something in the neck. Many treatments were discussed they could do radiotherapy or pre op chemo  etc etc. It was a whirlwind of emotions. I had already been suffering from depression and stress and was off work when i was diagnosed. Each monthly CT and MRI result was not what they were hoping for.By January they decided the treatment clearly did not suit me and it had not shrunk the tumour. I was surprised they did not offer me alternative treatment even though yet again I was sounded out about chemotherapy. Each time they had their weekly meetings they were no further towards deciding the next course of action. They told me I was a delicate case (whatever that meant) all I know from a young age anything stronger than a shop bought paracetomol made me feel lousy so when these two drugs got to work and I suffered so many different symptoms that played mercilessly with my hormones and emotions. I was almost suicidal. I was passed back to the breast specialist after I had a PET scan. He rang me discussing a two approaches to surgery, I just wanted the best possible outcome and listened and gave my opinion. I think the lung and neck nodules are not of concern, since the PET scan ( but I personally became more worried because they actually have not said why). Tomorrow I am having a pre op assessment feeling I have not really been given the oportunity to make choices, because they are doing exactly the same operation they planned to do last october.I am physically and emotionally worn out and my mistrust of the situation. I have felt at no time I have been able to make an informed choice because they talk to me about treatments and I think whoa what are they talking about I need to know what it would mean for me , then don't end up offering them anyway. I actually don't feel prepared and more confused than when I was diagnosed. It has all been if buts and maybe's and now they have made the decision my opinion may have been considered but not been part of the decision. I almost feel I would be ungrateful to either ask for a full explanation of why they have come to this decision or disagree with it. All I know is I am heading for an operation that if I was brave enough to say NO I am not convinced is best for me, would they not take me seriously . I would like to do what I normally am comfortable with and say lets see what happens BUT would this mean revisiting this again 3, 6 months or a year down the line. Also they have not even said anything about what happens if anything after the operation the breast care nurse has said brushed over the option of they may offer a little bit of radiotherapy afterwards. I really am scared and in a dilemma. Its easy to be told you must stand up and say your not happy if I did would they even offer an alternative or take me seriously?