Hi Kellog,

It's good you've told the boys so they know you're having treatment and there'll be times when you're not well or you're usual self. My boys were 27and 25 when I was first diagnosed and I played it down a lot but then it was just a primary. " Just," what am I saying!

My reaction all those years ago was weird, I didn't want anyone to know bar my immediate family and friends. I quite literally hid myself away. My Mum had breast cancer so I knew I could be a candidate so I lead what I believe was a healthy lifestyle. I didn't smoke or drink, I breast fed my babies and watched my weight and my work made sure I got enough exercise. So when I was diagnosed as part of the screening programme I felt as if in some way I'd failed. I was receiving treatment some way from home so unlikely to bump into anyone I knew. I even shopped in a new supermarket. Madness. I really didn't understand it myself.

This time I have been quite upfront with all my family and friends and the support I'm getting is amazing and heartwarming. Even folk who are really more acquaintances than friends have been lovely. I read a book recently called the Cancer Whisperer by a lady who is surviving against the odds. She's a bit intense and I had to read it in small chunks but something she says which I think is good advice is, be specific with your friends, they want to help and support but often don't know how, so tell them! If you need some shopping or a lift, someone to take the boys somewhere or just a social get together let them know. In my experience someone will step up willingly.

A word of caution though some people can't cope and will fade away even if you thought they were good friends. That's Ok, because it's their problem not yours and you don't need to add guilt to your own struggles.

All that being said it's your journey and only you can choose which path to take.

I've taken my first lot of steroids prior to my stereotactic radiosurgery this afternoon so I'm hoping it'll put a spring in my step by lunchtime!

Chin up.

Dotty x

Thank you Dotty for all the advice. 

Good luck for this afternoon

Please let me/us know how it all goes  

Kellogg x

Thanks Jazzy.

I'm really glad to hear you've had the good news stories from the forum. Is it Inspire.com and then add your particular condition? 
 

Your vision board sounds good, though, looking past tomorrow at the moment, scares me!

xx
 

Yes www.inspire.com

There is a breast cancer forum you can join

But there is also an advanced breast care one too which us helpful for those that are stage 4

Xx

Hi Kellog and Jazzy who I'm sure is following,

An update on this afternoons trial by stereotactic radiosurgery

Well that wasn't a nice experience but I got through it and survived. The radiographers were absolutely marvellous, patient and understanding. Oh that all the hospital staff were like that. The nurses in the chemo suite should go down and take lessons. To help with the side effects they give you massive doses of steroids on a sliding scale. Today I took two separate lots of 6mgs so 12 mgs. Then I went to the GP with a sore ear and she prescribed an antibiotic ear spray with added steroid. I also showed her a nasty inflamed area on my chest and she gave me steroid cream with added antibiotic.

I should be bouncing off the ceiling by bedtime unfortunately there isn't an emoji for a Trampoline 

Dotty (named in honour of my Mum)

Really glad to hear it went, I'd say well, but you know what I mean! Not good to hear the chemo nurses are not great. I've been lucky so far. 
 

I get that energiser bunny feeling when I'm on the steroids. Try and get loads organised on those days! 
 

Fingers crossed for some sleep tonight

Xx
 

Thank you Dotty.

Sending you all love x

Hi Jazzy2019, 

We just noticed that the forum you've suggested is based in America and as such the treatment and advice given can be very different.

If you and [@Kellogg]‍ are looking for a UK based community where you can connect with other ladies with stage 4 breast cancer it may be worth having a look at Breast Cancer Now. This charity has trusted information and an experienced team of moderators. They also have a helpline you can contact if you want/need to talk things through at any point.

I hope this helps and I wish you both the very best on this journey.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator