Hi Jillibean!!

Yesterday I was told over the phone that biopsy sample did show a squamous cell carcinoma of anus. I am 55 years old lady who lives and work in Edinburgh. It is not enough to say that I am petrified, I am soo dead and cold inside. Can't get that is is happening to me. As you live in Scotland I would really like to know how are you getting on now? It has been a while since your last post, so can you update me pleas. I really need to know that this diagnosis is not a death verdict, please. Thank you.

Hi Nata02

Im Sandra and I live through in Glasgow I was diagnosed with T2 squamous anal cancer back in August 2017 when I was 54 and do I know exactly how you are feeling today. It was one of the scariest days of your life especially as it is one of the lesser known cancers and your mind goes into total overdrive - imaging the worst possible thoughts. 

However I am now 2 1/2 years post treatment and in remission my next check up in July will hopefully see me being signed off. 

This website was a total godsend as it meant I could talk to others on the same journey,  Gilliebean and I still keep in touch and share our stories and fears.

it's totally natural to think the worst but hopefully once you see your consultant and talk through your treatment plan and options it will help you feel a wee bit better. 

My piece of advice is to take someone with you when you are meeting your team as they will hear more than you will also advice I was given was to write down all your questions before your appointment as your mind will no doubt go blank.

I was allocated a specialist nurse they are wonderful and can usually answer all your questions. 
If you want to talk to me please feel free to message me as I know for me it was a great help to talk to someone who got exact what you are going through. 

Sandra (sandsj) x

Hi sorry don't come on the site much but me also this site was such a Godsend I am 2 years post treatment . You will get through it so no it is not a death sentence and we ve all felt those feelings that you are experiencing so we know how scared you must be . When do you start your treatment ? Just take 1 day at a time and try not to let your mind run away with you wishing you all the best stay calm you can do this   Gilliebean x

Hello,

I was diagnosed is April 2019 with a T3, I had just over 5 Weeks of chemo and radiotherapy, the size was reduced from the size of about a pint glass to the size of a pound coin. As it hadn't gone completely they decided to operate and remove EVERYTHING!!! Currently 5 weeks post op.  I live in Swansea so cant really comment on how they do things in Scotland, but the care of the radiotherapy staff were amazing, they look after you and can answer any questions you have, I also had weekly appointments with a specialist radiographer or doctor.  Towards the end of treatment it does become more painful, but I had a driver for 24 hour anti sickness at the start as I was really sick with the chemo and they added pain relief towards the end.

I agree with everyone else, take help when you need it, sleep when you can and don't be hard on yourself when you have a bad day.  We all have them and think the worst, to help me I surrounded myself with people who loved me and a when I had a bad day I simple said it's not a good day for me to be on my own, and my family knew I needed someone with me.

sorry for the long post, but if you have any questions just ask.

all the best x
 

Hi girls!

Thank you very much for your responds!!! I basically live on every word you are saying!

As English is not my first languages please forgive me my grammatical mistake especially when even now my hands are shaking because of desperation about how much is left for me to enjoy this world...

On Friday I had such a lovely conversation with Sandra over the phone and I managed to sleep at that night!! Must say I can't sleep at all, lying in bed till 2.00am is normal, crying and feeling so pity for myself, asking why, why!??? I have always been a big fan of a healthy life style, eating salads, smoothies everyday, going to gym. What else could have I done to avoid it???

I am still in a state of collecting the tests: I am waiting for a date for PET and MRI to be done. Towards my luck PET scanner is down so don't know for how long I would have to wait. And this is keeling me! I can't walk normally, or cough is sneeze as in my mind it will spread the tumour all over. I don't know the stage yet, I will have an appointment with an oncologist as soon as my results are ready. 
 

Thank you girls very much for keeping this forum alive. To be honest because the last post was done a year ago I thought that either you are in bad state and don't want to talk about it  or... So it is so encouraging to hear you doing well!!!
Question: what can I do to make me sleepy? Is there anyway my GP can prescribe? I want to sleep!!

Nata

Morning Natasha 

I'm glad that you are seeing so many responses on here and all so positive. We have all been where you are feeling totally terrified.

I was offered sleeping tablets but chose not to take them I found a great app for your phone called Calm and also listened to rekaxayion posts by the Honest Guys on YouTube for guided relaxation and meditation.

 I hope you will find some of the advice on here useful and be kind to yourself 

Sandra x

Hi Nata

I saw your post and thought you are getting all the answers from all the other girls but thought dropping aline at this stage for you was probably a good thing as its so daunting as we have all been there!

I live in the South West of England and travelled over an hour to hospital for the 5 1/2 week treatment.  The treatment for me was fine - very sore at the end but when you get there you know that it won't be long before it will start healing and its surprising how quickly it heals. 

I kept myself busy all the time.  Not for everyone I know because the tireness can be irritating once treatment starts..The long journey each day there and back for me was the most tiring. I coped remarkably well. I slept like a baby, had no side effects and kept working...I had 4 days off over the Easter holidays but other than that I wanted to keep my mind on other things and it helped me - not for everyone I know.

I was diagnosed in January 2018 and am doing good. Seeing my specialist at the end of this month and another CT to check all is good.  I feel good.  The strange thing for me was I always did - prior to diagnoses, treatment and after. I had very few symptons. I thought I had piles or at least assumed I did.. It transpired I had anal cancer and the diagnoses was a T4 - 6.5inch tumor right at the base of the anal passage and pushing against the back of the vagina. The treatment was good for me and there appears to be nothing visable on any of my following scans.  The treatment therefore does work.  Try and stay as positive as you can and the busier you keep yourself day to day will clear your mind of horrible thoughts.. Its so easy today to google everything.  It was the best advice my specialist told me NOT to do.  I did log onto this site and found it the best backup for my journey...  Everyone is different I know.  I wish you well in your journey. Any questions or concerns please ask anyone on here.  The likilhood is someone on here has experienced it at some time...your not alone! Love Mandyx  

Good morning Sandra!

So happy to hear from you. Regarding our conversation last week,  I found Maggies Cantre in WGH and I am goin to pop in today in the afternoon. A bit apprehensive of how they can help me but will try. I have a week off from work so have to somehow occupy my brain with more positive actions. Thanks again for that chat last week and I can't even tell how much I am  delighted for you and the girls!!!!

Nata

Great Nata 

It was daunting walking into the Maggies for the first time but I felt so much better afterwards being able to talk to people who "got it"

I hope you get on ok keep in touch and remember any questions just ask on here as someone will hopefully be able to answer you x