Hay Kelly ... bet you feel a tad better now ... always good to have a rant now and then ...yes your right , there are a lot of people worse off .. but this is your life, your hair, and your pain ... your quite right to have some time for you ... sometimes my way of coping when I first heard that word that shall not be mentioned... was isolation for couple of days, curled up in a ball and i cryed it all out . then next morning thought right, I’ll take you on you bxxtard .. 

this cxxcer wants to beat us down to the ground and stamp on us ... it wants to take everything away . it has no mercy ... so I watched a program on t.v about teens with IT and they all had a smile, and some were laughing at things. and one little lad was walking around with his drip to see his buddy ... l thought if those little angels can do this with a smile, so can I ... 

i found something to smile about every day ... and when you take IT on and every time you find something to keep you going , you’ll be kicking that c right up it’s *** .. and when you feel stronger and people see you are coping, you won’t get so many “sympathy “ looks .. 

it takes so much away from us . don’t let it take the old you ... hang on in there ... and know like a rollercoaster there will be good days and days you feel really low . then have another rant and then get back on ride and hold on tight ... you ARE stronger then you know ... and one day in the future you can help someone else to keep going coz you know just how hard this is ... 

big big hug to you .. Chrisie x

Hi Kelley,

The chemo blues gets most of us eventually - chemo is unpleasant which we all expect, but no-one ever tells you how utterly boring and depressing it can be! Frustrating cos you can't mix socially because of the low immunity levels and too knackered all the time to do much anyway. 

I lost myself in reading and in binge watching all the boxed sets I hadn't got round to watching when work and family life got in the way and I slept an awful lot! 

I also planned a solo holiday in Southern Goa in India to give myself something to look forward to. I flew out within days of my last chemo and it was bliss. 

Ranting is pretty good too - there's nothing worse than bottling up the anger and frustration! 

Good luck
Dave

Rant, it's good for the soul in the circumstances. No one knows how they will handle a cancer diagnosis so don't beat yourself up about how you feel. I can't comment on hair loss although the second hand stuff I know from my cousin is that it is pretty horrible. 

Do what makes you happy for a few days if you can and let the rest of the world wait until you are ready to deal with it.