Hi there ... I’m in the same boat as you... I’m 63 and lot of other heath issues too ... I’ve had such a full, life, I’m at piece with the world ... and I agreed to mastectomy as I didn’t want it bursting through skin .. it all went well and it wasn’t half as bad as I thought ... I’d already told my family no cemo, and can’t have radio therapy as I don’t heal well ... good news was my lump , although grade 3her 2 came back low risk, and lymph nodes clear ... my oncologist listened to me and I said to him, I know your life is giving us all treatment , but this is my cancer and I will listen to all the pros and cons but it’s my decision in the end ...

he was amazing ... he said any time I wanted to stop, he would support me, whilst still wanting me to have treatment ... so I found out all the info to make a choice ... he gave me time to work it out for myself ... because of my arthritis, stenosis in my spine , trapped nerve in my back.. I couldn’t risk it getting worse ..though I’m still pretty well and feeling great at the mo ... he now surgested a 5 year corse of hormone therapy ... so I’ve took away booklet on it , and not quite sure yet ... but he said he’ll back me whichever way I go ... 

if I was younger, had a young family , I would have had anything they had ... but like you I want to have quality of the time I have be it long or short ... every day I have, I make the most of ... I have an amazing family .. that are supporting me ... we’ve talked, cryed , hugged and we’ve still found things to laugh about .. especially with my false boob ... Betty .. Betty boob ... 

i will fill every day with memories... hopefully lots to still have ... I think everyone should have a sergeon like mine ... coz this cancer does try to take everything from us ... but it won’t take away my control, or my sense of humour... I will kick its *** every step of the way ... so my hunny .. you go and tell them it’s your journey and you’ll do it your way ... whatever you decide ... bless ya .. but do your homework and make a decision you can live with and have no regrets, whatever you decide ...

sending you a big hug from one ol gall to another ... Chrisie xx ️

Hi MaidMarian51, 

I'm sorry to hear you feel like your medical team are not listening to you. I just wanted to give you our cancer nurses telephone number as I think you will benefit from talking to them about this. Their freephone number is 0808 800 4040 and their lines are open Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m so do give them a call when you can as they will be able to help you and give you all the information you need regarding the pros and cons of having or not having this treatment.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Good for you. The oncologist should be giving you all the information that you need to make an informed decision, and that does not seem to have happened yet. I'm not a medic, but know that with some cancers there are grey areas. With bowel cancer Stage I, for example, surgery is usually enough. With Stage III chemo is usually mandatory. But when it comes to that 'in between' Stage II, there seem to be differing views in the medical profession. If I was in your shoes I would want to know my prognosis with or without chemo/radiation. In the form of 5-year survival rates. This would then a serve as a base for my final decision. But everyone is different. Good luck, MaidMarian51.

Hi,

As others have said, this is all about informed choice.
You have been informed and you have made YOUR choice.
No-one else can do that for you and no-one can take your right to choose away.

You could write to your oncologist, remind her of your decision and politely but firmly ask her to cancel any arrangements she has made because you won't be changing your mind

Maybe she has had experience of patients changing their minds in the past and is assuming that you will probably change yours too. A letter cannot be as easily ignored as a verbal statement - especially if you CC it to your GP.

Best wishes
Dave

Hi there ... Every cancer is different ... No outcome can be garenteed... It is a decision only you can make .. way up all the pros and cons and then when you decide, take whatever that is and don't look back with regret ... I'm still here 10 months down the line ... Lots of hic cups but still standing and don't regret not having treatment ... Though I'm on tamoxifen for the foreseeable ... Every decision I've made , I wayed up and found out everything l could ...

There no easy answer ... Listen to your heart and head ... And what is your gut feeling ...

I hope you find your path and it's a good one for you ... Bless ya ... Big hug chrissie xx

Personally, I would tell the oncologist I am not coming back.  I dislike doctor's like that, who don't respect patients decisions, and I would say a big goodbye!

Hello

Did not having chemo be the right decision for you ?

as I'm in two minds at the moment 

thank you xx