Oh no Chrissie....i will watch out for that!

Has your sister moved into the care home yet. If so it can take some time to settle into new environments so this would be anticipated by staff. If not keep a check if this is a sudden change for her as she might be spiking some kind of infection.

Hi ya... no we've seen amazing care home .. got cinema room, hair salon ,  the staff are lovely ... but she's had couple of good weeks so we thought just delay it a tad longer ... it's so hard and we cover all the days between us ...  but don't think it's far off now .. she's 15 years older then me, and was like a mum growing up .. she still clips me round the head if she thinks I'm being cheeky ...

Her daughter's a nurse, so she tests her regularly for water infections etc ... just so hard ... x

It's incredibly difficult Chrissie. Physically and emotionally. I don't have personal experien e of a family member but I work with a lot of people who either have dementia or are caring for someone with it. It's hard knowing when the right time is. Does your sister have any awareness of her difficulties or has she ever said to you all when she would want you to make that decision for her. 

Yes my oncologist said best to take it at night so am gonna take it now before I forget!

I arranged with th oncologist to take two 10mg tablets a day, I have fewer side effects doing it that way. 

I’ve also been advised that different brands can affect differently. The active drug is the same but the other stuff in the tablet can be different. 

It's really hard, coz she's been the matriarch of our family ... she's the wisest wonderfull sis anyone could want ... but those tough qualities are going against us now ... she knows she doesn't remember, but she's holding on with iron fist not to be told what to do , even if it's to help her ... we've just tried to go into her world and be in whichever place she's in at the time ... 

I've got a few tricks up my sleeve as l did a few shifts in dementure ward, but that was 20 years ago, but l learned how to be in the moment... if she says she's gonna go to mum's (who's been gone near 30 years) I just tell her she's gone to bingo and will be back later ... our dad's up the allotment. . Etc ... and if I stay calm and put t.v on or get out old albums out , I can usually settle her ... but it's getting harder ...

Thanks cournish, l feel like I've had a therapy session ... think I needed to talk about it ... feel little teary now, but it's really done me good ... you really are wonderfull ... think I've been holding it in too long

Awww Chrissie it sounds like your sister has been the backbone of the family. It's hard when roles change. Its a loss that can make youangry sad resentful all at once. Not easy  especially when facing your own battles. You sound like you really know what help her and what doesn't and I think that can help on a day to day basis. And I'm always happy to listen if you need it. Take care of you though as you wont be fit to help her if you don't look after yourself xxxx

I will remember that Riley if I can't tolerate it.