Hello everyone; sorry there are so many problems.  Gloria, how are feeling?    Carol, when I last posted my question about hubby caring for you it was not tongue-in-cheek; I really thought he might give a bit in return for all you have done for him!    You are right Sue, men consider they are in desperate need of help while we just soldier on.  I tell you, if men had babies then contraception would have happened many years before it did.  Julie, how are you both doing; I trust Dave is still eating well (it's always a good sign!). Well,  it is December tomorrow, 2018 is staggering towards its end. Julie, you will remember this year with sorrow and will doubtless have difficult feelings about Christmas.    There seem to be a great  many posts coming in at the moment - I have tried to pick up some of the ones that get missed but feel a bit sad that when someone thinks they have finally got a response I have to confess to knowing very little about whatever it is; still it is better than nothing.    In a moment of madness I bought a Christmas present for my niece and her husband - a session of learning to lindy hop - I think my niece Vicky will be game for it but would like to see the look on her husband's face when he sees it!    When I come in from taking Muffin for his afternoon walk I like to have a small glass of Baileys Irish Cream but at the moment Paul's mobility scooter is in for repair.  He is having his Friday afternoon session playing poker in the pub so I will have to collect him - that means no Baileys for now.  Life is hard.  Annie

  So I made a cheese sandwich and then threw it in the bin.  I couldn't get warm in bed so had to put socks on to get warm.  Nine am Norman next door starts drilling concrete outside so I Bury my head in the pillow and wake at 11am.  

Hi everyone,Summer is here and we had a beautiful day day today, although it has turned nasty tonight with thunder, lightning, wind gusts, and so much rain, not pleasant at all.  The poor cat is not liking it one bit, she is so skittish with sudden noises.  Tomorrow is not much better although at least the storm will stop, just intermittent rain.  Hope everyone is having a good weekend.  Carol, are you feeling a little better than yesterday and is Norman looking after you.  I hope so.  Julie and Dave, hope you are both doing well.  Gloria, have you had any results yet?  Sorry, I can't remember when they were expected, or when you were next seeing the Dr.
Annie, I think that is a wonderful present for your niece Vicky and her husband.  Like you not sure what her husband will think.  Curious, how long it takes to repair a mobility scooter, seems to be taking a while, and I wouldn't have thought it would take that long.  Life is certainly hard and not fair when you can't have your usual Bailey's.  Have you tried Strawberry Bailey's, my daughter raves about it, she got some for her birthday.

Take care everyone, lots of love.  Sue xx

Thanks Sue, I should really count my blessings as at least he's still here, which is more than can be said for others.  The last two years are taking their toll on us both.   Pretty pleased about my aim though.  He's been trying to be pleasant but I'm passed caring today and can't even bare to look at him.  If I had the energy I'd have gone out!!  Thanks for the kind words.  Love Carol xx 

Go Carol! If I throw something is usually bounces and hits  me!

How are feeling now, Carol - I do hope a bit better.  How great that the food parcel arrived when it did and saved the day!  You should keep a bowl of small items by your bed to keep up your target practice when you are not getting the help you need.  But seriously I hope your antibiotics are starting to kick in a bit.  Are you able to order a takeaway if things get desperate? For one!  And keep a good supply of books by your bed.  I have been feeding Paul (whose chest is very bad at the moment) brandy with hot water and honey which seems to ease things a bit (or maybe he just likes drinking it).  He could not go out on his mobility scooter even if he had it as the weather is awful.  They are having to replace soem part but it is taking a bit too long really.  Still, he has used them for several years and they usually get it together eventually. Just watching Strictly (I love South Pacific) but wanted to say hello to everyone and ask how things are.  Annie

Hello all my friends

I feel so angry on behalf of us all at the moment.  I know it's not about us (?) but.... It doesn't take a lot to be kind to our partners.  We had some friends visit yesterday and hubby blithely says "yes we're fine, we're coping well".  I don't think for a minute he has any idea how this has been for me.  Sorry, just feeling sorry for us all at the moment.  We  cope, we keep coping.  

Apart from that,  Dave is eating well and being active.  We are up in Kendal at the moment - it has rained non stop today so maybe that has affected our mood.  He's gone to bed and I'm watching Jaws and drinking wine!  Stacey to win Strictly!

Xx

Julie, fully with you on this one.  I am so hurt and angry at how he's treated me these last few days, all I wanted was a cup of tea, as simple as that, a cup of tea.   I know love and hate go hand in hand but if he knew how much I've hated him these last few days he'd be aghast.  They think because they are coping it's an easy ride for us, it's not because we're the glue that holds it all together,  without us they wouldn't be here.  I had a whiskey and hot milk before bed and sweated the night away, I could hear myself breathing,  rumble,  rumble,  wheeze, squeak, but did I get a cup of tea,  no.  I get up at 10 am and come down and make myself a hot drink, he follows on the stair lift obviously thinking it's earlier than 11am and I should  be happy, I'm not, so I take my tea and go back to bed.   But my breathing is awful so after a hot shower I go back down, he's bought me some comfort chocolate he tells me,  I pick it up and chuck it in the cupboard, it's too little and too late.  This is going to take me some time to bounce back from, I've just put a clean shirt on his bed, he's pulled the blinds down (literally) left the light on and thrown the bed covers back in a heap, it can stay like that, it's his dump.  So sorry to not be upbeat but you all know my posts are truthful, this one especially so.  Love to all my struggling girls,  sometimes we deserve more than life gives us. Xx

Hi Ladies,  It is about them, sort of, but what they forget so easily, is that we go through everything along with them, all the ups and downs, their whinging, and moaning, we do most things for them. We put our life on hold and go to all their appointments and treatments.  I didn't do a lot of things I would normally have done because he wasn't well, and I stayed home.  We live with the fear, just as they do.  I agree Julie, they have no idea how it affects us,  I know Neil never did, he once said to me he was the one with cancer.  A little consideration and appreciation goes a long way. 
Look after yourself Carol, it will take a while before you bounce back.

Lots of love to all.  Sue xx