Hi Carol, Sleeping a full 8 hours...If only I could get 8 hours straight.  Most days I average 6-8 hours but it's broken sleep.  I seem to wake nearly every time time Neil wakes, he wakes and coughs, and I hear him.  Neils eating has been pretty good again today.  He does eat pretty much what he wants to, regardless of what I've cooked.  At the moment he is keen on lasagna (my daughter makes a big tray for us which we freeze in individual serves) and chicken tenders. Hence I was surprised he had the curry I'd made last night. What he'd really love is a steak, but he hasn't been able to eat that since early this year.  I'm hoping to go to the movies tomorrow night to see Leisure Seeker, with luck Neil will stay how he is and will be fine for a couple of hours. I do know what you mean with how hard it is to live under a death sentence.  Most don't though, friends certainly don't.  Not knowing, and wondering.  Like you, we are doing reasonably well under the circumstances.  The friends that were coming last Sunday are coming this Sunday.  They were friends I didn't think would still be around once Neil got his diagnosis,, but they ring usually once a week and visit also.  As you mentioned in an earlier post Carol, some will distance themselves while others are still here.  I'm just surprised at which fit in each group.  You just have to accept it.  On Monday Neil has an appointment to get hearing aids.  It will be nice not to have to yell nearly everytime I say something or repeat every .  I can't wait.  Take care and have a lovely day. X

Caz

Don't sweat the small stuff it won't do you any good, being angry is the punishment that one give's himself/herself for the fault of someboody else.

Merino x

Bless you Carol. Yes you are doing so well and it certainly can't be easy trying to live day to day with all the uncertainty and wondering what the tumour is doing.

Unfortunately your family live away from you which means that when they do visit, much as you love to see them it is more work for you, preparing for them arriving, then entertaining and thinking about meals and the rest. Then they are gone leaving you to get everything back to a sort of normal with the bl....dy cancer always there.

Hang in there Carol, one day at a time, and hopefully tomorrow will be a better one. 

Stay strong. Lynne.xx

Hi Merino

 Carol is one strong lady who writes openly and honestly on here.

She is surely allowed to be stressed and angry at times, I think this is normal given her situation.

Your advice to a lady on here last year was to take one day at a time and not look too far forward. Great advice I think and this is how Carol lives day to day.

Lynne.

Lynne I have no doubt that Carol is a strong women, I was only trying to help, and your right she as a right to be angry, thing is when you carry it to long your the one that suffer's.

I to live with cancer and went trough many phases and on a day to day basis I'm living with a mentaly handicap son...24/7 so don't patronize me until you have walk a mile in my shoes.

Merino

Merino

I am sorry if you thought that I was being patronising because I certainly was not. As I cared for my late husband on his short battle with lung cancer I felt very angry and frustrated at times just as Carol does.

Lynne

Merino I find you quite patronising and this is my blog about living daily with cancer.  

Thanks Lynn it's nice to have positive support.   You are spot on, we're living with it on a daily basis and u til you do no one will ever understand.   Warm wishes.  Carol 

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