Yes I do seem to have been in and out dog-walking.  The weather has been so changeable;  Muffin does not like the rain and I don't like takinng him out too long when the sun is beating down so as well as a decent walk on the common or in the park I take him for a few shorter walks when it is cool but not wet.  Muffin and I collided on the back door step into the garden; he was okay but I was on the ground caught up in the broom I had been using to prop open the back door to let Muffin in and out.  My big toe is swollen and bruised and my leg is cut; and I think I have strained my arm in some way.  But I don't think anything is broken which is a blessing; having osteoporosis I always fear that will happen even though I do take the tablets.  There isn't so much walking happening today as a consequence.  So is there any improvement re Norman's hands; was it the doctor who you were seeing.  It is nice when your family want to keep visiting you and wanting to help (don't mention the cooking situation!).  I know what you mean about far a spill can spread; even when you think you have finally got it all it suddenly appears to have seeped some distance away.    Best wishes to you both.  Annie

I get up to call the surgery for an appointment and ask if we can see a specific GP.  This is not available until 18th June so I decline as we see the Oncologist on Monday, why do you need to see this GP I'm asked, because we have a rapport with her, she's seen hubby for the last year,  knows the problems and listens.  Many of them we have never seen and when we have they are dismissive of our concerns.   So I'm back to calling at 8.00 am on Thursday and hoping I get our GP!  I go to zumba and my friend Chris is in a state her man has had pneumonia but after a Pet scan a shadow has shown on his ribs.  They don't have a very good relationship and she is nervous and upset about what is happening.   I chat to her after the class and tell her how things work should it be bad news.  I've invited three friends to our children's society coffee morning and they accept,  including Chris as they are not at the hospital until 4.20 pm on Friday,  I say we can keep her mind off it and she agrees.  Back home I shower, have coffee and hubby seems a little better.   He goes to the golf club but just drives around as he can't hold a club.  He comes home saying how frustrating it is and I sagely agree.   I've tootled off to M & S to buy pie and potatoes for tea, spot triple distilled vodka on offer so I buy it, it's only when I get home I realise it's  37.4 %  alcoholic.   Couple of those and I'll have to set a triple alarm in the morning! !  See you tomorrow. 

I have a lie in and then go to my class.  Apart from his swollen hands, open wounds and his leg troubling him again, (he says it's been set so he walks like a duck)  things are good!  Christine is there and says her husband has gone very quiet, I tell her mine did that and to just leave him to his thoughts.   Men don't like talking about things, women have an easier time as we have friends who support us.  Back home I mow the lawn as I'm already sweaty from the exercise.   My lawn mower is ancient and keeps cutting out after two Lengths, I've been trying to buy a new one for years and as usual he stymies my pleas.  Well today I stand and yell, I WANT A NEW LAWN MOWER, at the top of my voice.  Hubby comes to the back door to see what's going on, and to shut me up we take off to B & Q (10%,  off for pensioners on Wednesday), and I have a shiny new orange lawn mower!!  So here I come council tip, I will not be sad to see you go!!  We've just had tea and I've tried my new vodka, it went really well with spaghetti and meatballs.   See you tomorrow. 

I get up early and call the surgery, number 35 in the queue,  how on God's green earth do I get to be number one!!  Anyway, luck is on our side and by ten we are seeing our GP.  Yes she states, the cancer can cause these problems due to his immune system being shot it attacks the joints, so we're given steroids  and I'm called his glamorous assistant, by the doctor,  not him!  So we've suffered for weeks due to lack of concern from another GP.  I had to cancel Mary coming,  so I do my ironing which is crawling out the basket begging me to do it before it needs washing again.  I pop and see her and she's worriesd about Joe, he's getting his MRI results tonight, she said she'd call but hasn't,  so now I'm worried!  Everybody is falling apart and it brings home to you how old we are all getting.  I go to buy new plant pots and some more pansies and bump into Christine and her husband,  who I've never met,, she beseech es me with her eyes to say nothing about their problems,  so we shake hands and he is polite and charming.  It's true you never know what goes on behind closed doors.  The pansies are still on the trolley, having just been delivered, so another lady asks me where I got them from, so I explained to her what I knew, then another lady says, excuse me how much are these pots, I don't work here I say, she blushes and scuttles off!  Hubby has slept the afternoon away, gently snoring in the heat of the conservatory , it's a good job he's not a fly or I'd be sweeping him up!!!

I get picked up to go the children's society coffee morning.  Pauline s bungalow is like something out of Dynasty and my friends are impressed by the splendour, Pauline however is the most down to earth person you could meet.  Everyone we know asks after hubby,  sending love and good thoughts to him.  I get landed selling the second domino card and struggle to fill it, so I buy the last four slots and my next door neighbour ends up winning! This is what I call sods law!  We drink coffee,  eat food and chat to our hearts content.   Another friend comes over and asks me to a Marie Curie afternoon tea at Woodham next Friday,  so I say yes and am now looking forward to that.  Three hours later I'm back and hubby looks better and has arranged to meet Don at Richmond to have a ride around but not play,  at least he is going out.  Mary has just called,  Joe has arthritis in his back, nothing horrible so in a way , good news.  I've just ordered a Tiffany pendant for Lisa's 40th that's us spent up for the month,  lovely lady served me called Annastasia,  what an unusual name.  So my day is done.  Fish and chips for tea.xx

Hi.  When you say you got picked for the chidlrens society coffee morning I was not sure whether this was a good or a bad thing; sometimes getting picked means that nobody else can be bothered to go!  But I know you like to keep busy.   My leg is still bruised and swollen and my big toe looks, well a very strange shape!  But I am getting around with a walking stick.  I seem to have a year of small bits and pieces going wrong with various part of me!  Woke up to Muffin climbing all over me; he had buried a Dentastix somewhere in the bed and wanted to find it - it turned out I was lying on it.  Why he doesn't just eat the things when they are given to him I don't know.  Some vague doggie mystery rooted in times past I expect.  I hope Norman's hands improve now he has the steroids.  Annie

Hi ANNIE,  Muffin sounds like a bundle of fun!   I love animals but looking after Norman is like looking after a large St. BERNARD!  Your poor foot, it's so disabling when you hurt your foot because that's what keeps us grounded.  My friend at the coffee morning has had a detached retina in one eye and a problem wit the other, this is making her extremely clumsy  and in the past year she has damaged both knees badly by falling.   I'm being very cautious,  hanging on to banisters and railings and watching each foot step because if I fall we're in dire straits!  Enjoy your weekend and thank you for keeping in touch.   Love Carol x

I go to town and Asquith jewellers is closing, I love this shop and spot a flower crystal pendant with 70% off.  I buy it as I've never found my crystal heart (blaming Ella as it's so pretty it may be displayed on one of her dollies!)  I have coffee and Christine texts to say all is well the shadow was a cracked rib.  So both friends husbands are fine, good news all round just me in the black hole of cancer world.  His hands are bad today and he's argumentative,  I tell him he could have an argument in an empty room today and he pretends to be upset, but I know it's hit home.  I have bought another plant to attract bees and butterflies and try to dig a hole but the ground is hard, so I give up and stick it in a plant pot.  My lawn feed has arrived so I do that and we have an argument about how it should be done!  I love the man who doesn't do any thing but still wants control over how it's done!!  I do my usual, ignore his advice,  get called a smart *** but it works, one up to me!!  Large vodka and tonic,  larger for him and we finally sit on our love seat, stupid name,  it hasn't stopped him arguing!  So he's eating tea now and deciding what TV to watch, hopefully the steroids will kick in soon, or I'll be on xanex.!!

I get up but feel like a black cloud is hovering over me and  I don't know why.  I keep getting flashes of my dreams and realise they have unsettled me.  Hubby is having a bath so I go to Tesco for food and hope he's still safe when I return.   By 12.45 he's down stairs, smartly dressed but still needs me to button his shirt.  Let's go to Woodham golf club and have a drink,  so I get changed into a dress and we set off.  He's changed his mind about Woodham so we end up doing a full one and a half hour round trip, no drink,  no food but he's happy being out. So I end up cooking tea and he's watching the grand prix.  We're seeing our Oncologist tomorrow,  some one left a message on our phone in the week asking how he was doing.  Seems a bit of an after thought after five months off the radar!  Good job we have inner strength to get us through.  X