Hi Gabbiano,

I am so sorry to hear of your latest predicament, You obviously need help in reaching the right decision, I understand that you are seeing your consultant within the next two weeks, Why not make a list of questions you have for your consultant over the next couple of weeks? Take this with you to your appointment and ask your consultant about them,

If possible take someone with you to your appointment and get them to write down the replies, then you can weigh things up from the position of  an informed choice, 

I eventually refused radiotherapy 6 years ago, having weighed up the pros and cons carefully, I found it a  very confusing time, My surgeon was good enough to refer me to talk things over with two specialists in radiotherapy - the problem  was that they came up with totally conflicting recommendations, In the end I went with the person that I trusted most

Goven your situation, it is even more important that you come to the right conclusion, This has to be your decision and yours alone, but it needs to be made from an informed viewpoint, If you are not happy with your consultants replies ask to be referred to someone with more experience of chemo and the side effects of the various types, The people I spoke to were researchers who had all the facts and figures to hand and I found this much more helpful in arriving at what was the right decision,for me, Be prepared for some bullying if you decide against chemo, I certainly had some, as have others who have deigned to question treatment options versus quality of life,

I am of similar age to yourself and I must confess that the though of heading off to the South Pacific to spend the rest of your days sounds very attractive, You could continue with your art and writing and enjoy the remainder of your time on this mortal coil, Seriously though, staying in the dull, wet and dreary UK has it's plusses if you are going to need medical care at the end,

I hope that whatever decision you make that it is the right one for you,

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx