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Mum diagnosed with incurable lung & brain cancer.Help please

Grace906
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Hi everybody, 

I am looking for advice or any similar experiences if possible, I just feel so lost at the moment. My mum fell ill and we found out she had brain cancer which had originally come from within her lung. After another scan due to the extent of the cancer we found out it was uncurable but treatable. I am really struggling to understand this term. From what I know so far it means they should be able to keep it at bay (remission) but sadly it will always be a part of her and a part of her life. What scares me is the word uncurable and the way they keep saying its bad news, I am worried that this means her life could be cut drastically short? Or does it mean she could live longer and healthier but this will just remain a part of her e.g. check up scans alot and treatment to keep it at bay?

I know no one can say for sure and we should get a prognosis next week but I feel so scared at the moment, this came completely out of the blue. Any shared experiences would really help me, thank you.

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    Hi, So sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis. From what i have learnt through our cancer journey, uncurable means your mum will always have the cancer. There is nearly always some sort of treatment, whether that's to keep the cancer 'stable' therefore prolonging life for as long as possible, or to try to control symptoms of the disease. If your mum has been told she's terminal, the aim of the treatment will more likely to be to prolong her life for as lomg as the treatment can keep it stable. There will come a piint where a treatment will stop working. How and when that will be will depend on a number of factors such as your mums health, where the disease is located, how her body copes with treatment etc.
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    Hello, 

    So sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. 

    I read your post and thought I may be able to help explain a few things to you. My dad was diagnosed two years ago (April 2015) with stage 4 'incurable' bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. That was his diagnosis at the time. So I thought to myself if he's incurable then that means he's not going to ever be cured so wouldn't he be terminal. Anyways I soon discovered the difference between the two terms. Incurable means that the person usually can't ever be cured from their cancer. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy will likely be offered to the patient to help keep things at bay and help prolong life, it may possibly shrink some of the cancer cells but it can't get rid of them, it could help ease any pain and control symptoms. Usually the chemotherapy is 'palliative.' Incurable patients can often live a good number of years if the chemo works. I've spoken to patients before who have been living 8 years with 'incurable' cancer. Terminal is often used when there isn't much they can do to help the patient, when cancer may be progressing at a rapid rate and these people are often given a life expectancy of 6 months or less. So yes it's not particularly good news for your mum because their saying she will always have cancer, they can't get rid of it. But hopefully chemo may help give her some quality of life and hopefully prolong her life. My dad has now gone from incurable to terminal in the past month. His cancer has now spread to the pineal gland in his brain, there is a mass behind his left eye and it's progressed in his lungs and liver also. Chemotherapy unfortunately didn't work for him this time round and things moved rapidly. My dad was given 2-3 years when he was diagnosed 2 years ago. Now he may not live until the end of the year. Usually incurable eventually turns into terminal like it has with my dad. But just remember many people can be incurable for a good number of years providing treatment options are working for them. So don't give up hope. 

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    Hi There, I just read your post and this actually happened to my Mam and it was unexpected too. Every person is different when it comes to cancer so if its not curable but treatable thats hope in my eyes just means your Mum will live with it but again I am not a doctor so life expectancy can be different. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family as I had that same dreaded phone call to come home that my Mam was diagnosed with cancer lung and it spread to her brain but she was always positive and happy, she got diagnosed in end of Aug 2015 and went to sleep early Nov 2015 ;( the week before my birthday. I am still in denial and I didnt understand everything that was happeneing then, I mean the word Pallative Care was mentioned but I just assumed it was a team of health care people to check my Mams cancer etc, I didnt realise it meant " terminal" it was never really explained to me as I was 200% a believer my Mam would pull through, its still makes me cry everyday, but then see my Dad had cancer too and he died 8 weeks after my Mam, I tell you to lose my Mam unexpected so fast so soon and then 8 weeks later my Dad, my world has beentorn apart ever since as its such a horrible cruel disease. I only have the comfort that they are now together out of pain rather than one of them being here on their own suffering without their soulmate. I honestly do prayer that your Mum will be fine and if she can live with it, but being 200% honest, I am struggling to deal with it and I know it wont get any better you just have to try and be a huge support to your Mum just now always tell her and your family you love them and give plenty of hugs, cos do u know what, one more hug, one more conversation, one more lunch, one more cuppa tea, its endless all the just one more. Please get in touch if you need anymore support, I have never had councelling since and I probably should but its very hard to talk to someone when no one else really knows how you are feeling. Sending all my love and positive thoughts to you and your family x x
  • Offline in reply to Fiona2017

    thank you for taking the time to reply, We have found out she does not have years to go, im heartbroken but I will do my best to spend as much tijme with her as I can, I have had counselling before for something else & I would recommend it, take care x

  • Offline in reply to Butterfly89

    thank you for taking the time to reply, We have found out she does not have years to go, im heartbroken but I will do my best to spend as much tijme with her as I can, im so sorry about your dad - I will pray for the both of us xx

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