its just a struggle

Hi all. 

Im struggling. Im not having treatment right now and i know i should be grateful to be here. But i feel like im in a big hole and just cant get out. I cant have a normal day anymore because its always there eating away at me. I just want to feel normal. I want the old me back. Not this me. This old aching tired out of work person. 

I sometimes wonder if i have the strength anymore. 

  • This is how I feel all the time . You are not alone . You just have to keep going .
  • Keep going. Start each day with a fresh positive attitude. I  find it difficult too but while i feel relatively well at the moment, i try to be positive & i carry on as normally as i can. Im not letting cancer rule me, i will rule it. I don't see myself as dying from cancer, i am living with it. I don't know when my time will come, but i have a 7 year old girl i am responsible for, so iv got to carry on & be strong for her & me. Be strong! 

  • I know just how you feel. I finished treatment in December after starting treatment in June 2015. Chemo. Mastectomy radiotherapy and Herceptin. I just feel so alone sometimes. I am taking anastrozol at the moment and I know they have side effects but some days like today I just feel like I have no energy at all. I just feel like I'm waiting for it to come back and every ache or strange feeling I panic . I have been asked if I want counselling and I think I need to do something so I can stop feeling like this. Have you been asked about counciling.
  • I had counselling through tenovus. 

    I know i should be grateful that im still here and well. But i dont feel normal anymore. Its always in the back of my mind. I think im having panic attacks to. I hate this version of me. I used to be fairly confident with a job i loved. And now i struggle to walk down to the local shops plus i no longer have a job. 

    Im sick of the pity looks. Im sick of how i feel. Im sick of how i make my family feel. 

    How do you cope with family/friends/work etc. X