Nearly 2 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 2 large diffuse B cell non hodgkins lymphoma..My tumors were large and in my abdomen...I was treated with RCHOP chemotherapy...which made me very ill...I had pneumonia twice and was in hospital for 4 months...I nearly died twice...Then spent a further month in a local hospice until I was able to go home and continue with my treatment...I had such a terrible time and living alone made it even harder..I started to improve and to my haematologist and my delight eventually I was declared to be in remission.

I had regular checks first monthly..then 2 monthly and recently have just been put onto 3 monthly but unfortunately last week I was examined and they found a very enlarged lymph node...and pain with a swollen area in my lower abdomen..I have also had itchy skin and night sweats...My consultant ordered an emergency pet scan and I go to get the results next Monday 6th March. 

I am so frightened that the lymphoma is back...So scared I won't make it through the chemotherapy this time and even more worried I won't have the strength to do it all again.

I have 3 grown up children but I try to stay posotive in front of them...This means I have no one to talk about my fears with..I am trying to stay as possotive as I can.