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How do I stop my brother from canceling his vacation

Caliban
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I got diagnosed with cancer. (chronic leukemia)
I told my mother not to tell anyone but she told my older brother (he's in college, I'm a couple years younger.)
He seems really upset, devastated, he was crying and he never cries.
Why is he so upset?
I feel terrible, I don't want to upset him.

Now he wants to cancel his plans travel with his friends in a couple months just to be with me!
Why would he do that?
I want him to go have fun with his friends and live life, not be depressed.

I enjoy his company a lot I just don't want to be selfish and I don't want him to miss out for my sake.
How can I convince him to go?

It's really not as bad as it sounds (at least that's what I keep telling myself) they're all these new drugs that have vastly improved the survival rate of CL, it's not like I'm teminally ill.

 

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    Hi Caliban,

    In the absence of all the facts, people fill in the gaps and jump to conclusions. 

    Your brother obviously loves you a lot, the news must have taken him by surprise and perhaps you didn't break the news to him or your mother in the most sensitive of ways. Most older brothers feel they should look out for their kid brothers, he just wants to be there for you.

    First thing you need to do is gather together all the facts about your case, your diagnosis, what treatments you are being offered and what prognosis you have. Then share this with your brother and other family members. If your doctor says you will still be around in 12 months, explain that to your brother, tell him to enjoy his travels and you'll still be home when he gets back.

    When I was first diagnosed, I was very matter of fact about things and just wanted to get on with my treatment. I've never been one to over react to things and most people expected me to be devastated by the news, I was emotionally numb and didn't understand why everyone else seemed so upset. This is just how I am. 

    I hope things work out for you!

    Best wishes

    Dave

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    Hi 

    it is hard when your on the outside looking in as the older sibling you feel it is your job to protect and look after for younger siblings and take away the pain where possible. It also hurts when you can't protect them

    yYou need to explain how you feel to your brother and explain that you want him to go on the holiday and have fun sending you lots of pictures and having a great experience and you will be on the other end of the phone. Speak to your doctor to get all the facts and what your treatment options are and make plans of things you can do together on days when you feel up to it while on treatment and when your off treatment. Invite him tp appointments allow him to ask questions if you both feel comfortable with this as it may help put his mind at ease. 

    All the best 

    if you wanna chat feel free to messag me

    xx

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