Hello cococat

Thank you for your message and good wishes.  Yes, having cancer or it touching your life does somehow make you look a the world in a different way.  I used to think that "Serenity" poem was a load of old eyewash but now, I can associate with it.  Oh, I do hope that doesn't sound pompous and pretentious.  I didn't mean it too.  Best go and have something to eat (hee hee)!

I am so sorry to read about your dad.  It must be awful for all of you.

Good news about your husband but, as you say, there is always that worry there about what may happen later in life.  It is always on your mind and does wear you down but I think this is one of the things that make us stronger as we still get on with daily life despite this unwanted visitor hanging around in the background.

One thing I feel I need to correct you on cococat while you're filling your face with mince pies.  Comfort eating is a woman's prerogative, not a woman's enemy, and if she puts on a few (hundred) pounds in the process, then woe betide anyone who mentions it (hee hee)!

My best wishes to you.

Carol.

Hi Carol, thank you for your kind message of support. I hope you hear from the hospital re appointment very soon. I am lucky enough (if that's the right thing to say?) to be under the Royal Marsden Hospital at Sutton, Surrey. I was first diagnosed in 2008 after going to my GP two years on the trot complaining of pains in my left breast and sent away with the reason being hormonal and to take more evening Primrose oil. I put my cancer down to my own fault and vanity as I was on Prempak C HRT tablets for 13 years, without ever having a check up. Repeat prescription just provided month after month, then one time it suddenly became unavailable and I saw that as a sign not to take it anymore and stopped there and then. I was diagnosed 7 years later with tumour in left breast exactly where the pain had been. Even then it was only found by chance. Regular mammogram showed changes in cells, but no tumour, had ultrasound scan which found tumour behind left nipple. The rest is history as they say. What saddens me the most is that during these 8 years I have lost several friends who were so supportive to me, through various different types of cancer and still it goes on. A dear friend survived cervical cancer with hysterectomy and tubes removed only to be told recently that she had bowel cancer. She has been operated on and hopefully they caught it early enough. I was on a hormone tablet which kept it under control for five years and stupidly I got it in to my head that it would work forever. I was devastated when they told me it was no longer working and had spread to my spine and liver. Went through six months of chemo, hair loss etc. As soon as first clump fell out went straight to hairdresser and had head shaved, no regrets there. Have been on other treatments which only work for months, latest for 12 months. Which is brilliant, so next move awaited. Try not to eat too much, as weight gain not good either. I am now borderline diabetic!!! Please let me know when you hear from hospital thinking of you Dawn xx

Hello Dawn

Thank you for your message.  You've certainly been, and still are going, through it.  It seems never-ending doesn't it?  One of my friends is under the Royal Marsden Hospital and he has nothing but praise for the staff and the treatment he gets there.  I hope it's the same for you.

You say you blame yourself for your condition as you were on Prempak C HRT tablets for 13 years without a check up.  Dawn, it is not your fault.  You didn't keep writing up repeat prescriptions for yourself, did you?  The onus for check-ups should be with the GP and if they don't follow anything up, you do tend to think that everything is all right.  Silly, eh?  We all know differently now.

Thank you for your concern about my eating these past few days.  I've stopped bingeing and am back to normal eating but, as you know only too well, you just can't stop thinking about it and I get myself so worked up and angry that every so often I just blurt out an obsenity which startles me for a second but somehow eases a bit of the tension I'm feeling.  There's no-one here so I can let rip (so to speak) to my heart's content.

I've not heard from the hospital yet and if the postman doesn't bring anything today, the air is going to be blue over the weekend!

Please take care and sending you kind thoughts.

Carol x

Hello Dawn

I'm just writing to wish you all the best tomorrow.  I know you won't have a good sleep and just want tomorrow to be over with.  I'll keep everything crossed for you.

Take care.

Love Carol x

H

Hi Carol, thanks for your good wishes again. Did you get your appointment through? I sincerely hope so. Ok at hosp, put on new hormone drug, which goes in via injection in both bottom cheeks. Very undignified trying to climb on bed with bum cheeks hanging out. My aunt who is the same age as me and I got a fit of the giggles, we couldn't stop laughing. She said I looked like an elephant cos I had my Ugg boots on, the nurse couldn't stop laughing, she was so sweet. . Got to go back every two weeks to get build up of drug in system tablets from America not arrived yet. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what type of cancer do you have? Thinking of you and wishing you well I Sincerely Dawn xx

Hello Dawn

Thank you for your good wishes and thanks for letting me know how you got on yesterday.  Not very dignified, I agree, but it was good that you could all laugh about it although I expect it was a mixture of embarrassment and, to a certain extent, relief (if you can have a mixture of that).  I hope that your discomfort has worn off now and you can sit down all right.  Although not ideal, now you know what to expect, I hope that it's a relief for you.  Very annoying for you that the tablets from America have not arrived yet though.

I had a rather hectic day yesterday.  At 10.30am I received a letter from the hospital for a CT scan (I was expecting a letter about a biopsy).  It was for next Thursday at 4pm  That time was a bit too late for me so I phoned to see if they could make it earlier and he gave me 3pm YESTERDAY!  I couldn't believe it.  So I had it done then but have still not heard anything about the biopsy: when, where or how.  So I'm still waiting for that.

You asked about the type of cancer I had.  Last year I was diagnosed with uterine carcinosarcoma and had the surgery, chemo- and radiotherapy.  They have now found a "lesion" on my left lung  and need to investigate further.  It's the waiting for appointments/results that wears you down, isn't it?

I've been good up to yet and haven't started eating for England, although I don't think it's too far off.

Wishing you well Dawn and let's hope that this drug works well for you.

Look after yourself

Carol xx 

Oh good luck. This fills me with horror. End of last year I was diagnosed with stage 3 uterine cancer - it had spread to an ovary and the uterine cancer was very deep. This year I have had hysterectomy, chemo, radio and bracytherapy and while I have issues I have this deep deep fear of it returning as I was told from the beginning that my odds were not fantastic. What treatment did you have and how are they checking you now.

Hello Carol, I have not heard from you for quite a while now. I hope all is OK and the tablets/injections are doing the trick for you and that your liver has reduced considerably in size and is much more comfortable for you. I developed Bell's Palsy/Ramsay Hunt syndrome two days before Xmas, then just after Xmas I got shingles. Been a depressing two months. Marsden have taken me under their wing re the above and are very upset for me. They stopped the Palciclobib to try and get me better. Go back Thursday for pet scan and MRI of whole head to see what's causing pain. I look like Quasimodo when I laugh. Take care and please let me know how you are getting on, love Dawn xx