Hi

My mum has terminal lung cancer and is being cared for in a nursing home.  She has been told that the cancer has spread to her spine and probably her brain.  She is in considerable pain and the nurses/doctors are trying to find the best combination of meds to releive this as unfortunately, Morphine is not working for her.  She is still able to walk, albeit only slightly with a frame and needs a wheelchair most of the time.  

We were told on 27 June that it was terminal and at that time mum's consultant said the prognosis was 1-2 months.  In the 2-3 weeks prior to this, mum had been very ill with pneumonia which caused high levels of confusion and hallucinations but has since improved.  

The day we were told the prognosis of 1-2 months was the day we had to pay the balance of a forthcoming holiday on a cruise in Spain/Portugal in mid/late September which we have had booked for nearly 2 years.  We delayed paying the balance before speaking to our insurance company who advised that if we cancelled before paying the balance then we would get the deposit back, however, if we paid the balance then cancelled at a later date, then we would not be covered.

We have paid the balance and would stand to lose over £4,000 if we decided not to go.  I am so worried about going and, equally, worried about not going as my husband who has been so supportive throughout all of this really needs a break as, I suppose, I do too but I'm trying not to think of myself in all of this.

I really don't know what to do and I swing wildly between thinking that if we are only in Spain/Portugal then we can easily get a flight back if necessary to feeling incredibly guilty about going and leaving my dad and brother and sister in law to pick up the pieces in our absence.

I'm not expecting someone to come with a crystal ball but if anyone has had or is going through a similar experience, this would be very helpful.

Sorry to rabbit on and thanks for reading.

S xx