Hi,

Some years ago there was a sixteen yearold girl who posted on here. Here mother was in hospital with terminal cancer. Her father was spending most of the day at the hospital; coming home in a very emotional state. The daughter wanted to go and see her mother but both parents didnt want this as they wanted her to remember her mother as she used to be. She just wanted to hug and kiss her mother and was upset because she couldnt do this. Her younger brother didnt know his mother was dying but wasnt handling her illness. So the daughter was trying to comfort both her father and brother. She was doing all the housework, shopping and cooking, plus having major exams at school. No young person should have to handle all this; it would be bad enough for a grown up.

She came on this site saying she didnt think she could go on. I talked to her for about three weeks plus some ladies also replied to her. I told her what a marvelous young lady she was and everyone would be proud of her. She unknowingly reduced me to tears one day when she said, "If you ever need anyone to talk to about your postate cancer, I'm here for you". I didnt remember telling her about that so she must have read my profile page. But she told me just talking helped her cope.

There have been quite a lot of young people on here during the time Ive been a member and one of the things they have often said is they are often not told what is going on and feel excluded because of their age. I can fully understand parents wanting to protect them from the truth but at this age they are quite intuiative and worry more if they dont know the full picture.

All I can suggest to you is to be as open and honest with your daugher as possible which it sounds as if you allready have been. Talk to her and tell her you are worried about her and maybe she will open up to you for talking is often the only way of dealing with situations like this. Explain to her that often families dont talk openly and honestly where cancer is involved for they are worried by doing so they may increase other family members worries yet this is the time when families need to more than ever before.

I wish you luck with you op and a speedy recovery and that your daughter opens up to you. Sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way, Brian.

I fully agree with woodworm