I created a thread in newly diagnosed, but perhaps it was the wrong forum.

My mum had a mini stroke, what we thought, after a blood test it wasn't a mini stroke, after leaving work and being worried, we find out it was a brain tumour, I noticed different things about my mum which I couldn't explain, like eye movement, or personality difference. After doctor whispering to me and brother Tumour from my brothers intelligence and their distraction, holding back crying was hard. She had a PET scan, and found out it was in the lung and had a I forgot the name (camera down the lung and grab a bit from the tissue in the lung) failed, but went to somewhere in london in where if failed tissue, they went back down until they got what they needed (sorry my memory sucks, real bad I hate it.) We found she had lung, and some lymph nodes. She was then put on a lot of steroids and tablets, I made the place as clean as possible (my mum didn;t clean very well and if not often) She came home and because of the steroids couldn't sleep, drank all day/night and smoked her e-cig, set fire to fire blankets and other things, luckily my bro was awake or we could have died as no smoke alarms. Trashed the place, I knew I was in for osmething big, but it was a daily occurence and every time had to spend a long time cleaning after work, or take days as holidays, every really bad time perhaps once every couple of weeks, everyone else would come and help, sister, auntie, and other auntie. Other than that me and brother had to deal on our own, with no help. Tablets and a drug and drink coctail parent who we couldn't talk to and said horrible things, which deep down did hurt but I tried to shrug off as it isn't what she is, but I questioned myself. I spent all my time cleaning, but got blamed because I didn't de-wallpaper the upstairs flat, or re-decorate the upstairs (we live in 2 flats, upstairs me and bro, downstairs mum) but i don't have enough time to do both, plus as soon as I get in I hit down mode and just want to sit in my room do nothing and then go to work again, doesn't help when your mum is slowly making you hate her because she's changing.) Now she's on 2 steroids, too sick to do chemo (i think is good as chemo would just ruin her, house still not clean enough as i can't do stuff which i've never done before and never been taught to do) I'm putting myself down because I need to do more, but i don't want to because I just want to be alone or I get angry and cause arguments. She's on 2 steroids now, is herself, only going to do radiation and have a massive healthy diet, no smoking, and certain oil. I feel lost as I can't talk to anyone because they try and push themselves in comparrison or don't give me good advise. If my mum dies, I have to worry about my brother killing himself, if he does I'd be truly lost. Some advise for people who may have gone through the same thing, sorry for the long post. But I'm not sure where to turn to, my mum says counseling, but I don't want to just yet.