Hi Ultraviolet16

So sorry about your dad.

As well as coming here for support from others who understand how you are feeling now, there is another website I can link you to.

It's called riprap and you can talk to people the same age who are going through similar situations. You can find it here.

It would be well worth talking to someone at your school about what is going on at home, as they will be able to offer you support too. Maybe if you are worried about crying you could write a note and give it to a teacher?

Let us know how you are getting on anytime you feel it would help to talk.

Best wishes to you,

Jane

I am so sorry to hear about your dad.  You are doing the right thing by carrying on with your revision - I feel certain that is what your parents would want.  May I suggest you speak to someone at school, (the Head, school Counsellor, Head of Year).  If you ever do have a bit of meltdown it would be better if people are aware and can help you straight away.

Sending very best wishes to you and your family.

Hi Ultraviolet - Can I call you UV? ;c)

That's real tough but you're doing exactly the right thing - spend the time you can with him - have some fun and make sure he knows that you're going top be just fine without him even if you dont know that you will - you will.

If I were to give you one piece of advice it would be don't think of the future with regards to him right now - try to live in the present - thinking of a time without him won't help - you almost certainly won't do anything differently and it will upset you terribly and that will upset him.

Take each day one at a time and get as much as possible out of that day. You'll have plenty of time to grieve when it happens don't waste the time you have left with him by grieving before he has gone.

Definately make sure the school knows - a parent with a terminal illness is a serious mitigating factor in exams and you can get extra marks to try to compensate but you need to make sure they know.

You are going to have trouble concentrating on revision - try to do exercises past papers etc. much easier for negative thoughts to intrude if you're just reading rather than working out problems or writing.

As for familly history - some cancers have genetic causes - most do not - it sounds as if you are lucky and this is just one of the random cancers that hit people.

You may not feel lucky but my wife died in October and it was a strongly inherited cancer - my daughter (21 years old ) has just been told that she does not actually have the bad gene but has had 4 months of not only losing a mother but not knowing whether she would go through the same thing or not.

Anyway I digress - you're fine

Tell the school they cant help you if they don't know

Live each day with your father as it come and have some fun with him, take pictures, throw snowballs, go to the cinema - if you don't do it now you'll always regret it 

You can retake exams - you can't retake a father