Hi CG

You are definitely not alone with how you felt. I joined the forumduring my husband's journey because of my fear and frustrations and was so appreciative of the support of  virtual strangers who became virtual friends through the saddest of reasons.  For us it became easier to cope once we understood each others thoughts and, as they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing! My husband just could not bear to talk about his illness as he could not cope with the emotions it brought.  I on the other hand needed to know how best to bring comfort into his day to day living and pushed my fear for my future on to the back burner (though this caused much inner stresses I felt selfish worrying about my future when my hubby did not have one).

Although my hubby kept me at a distance I never doubted his love  for me as always blamed cancer not the man. I do not think we ever feel we did enough but through talking  on the forum and after my husband's death, to his GP,  I am comforted by the fact that I had  a long marriage, children and grandchildren who shared our love and loss and often think now that he felt he was preparing me for a time without him .  His GP got me involved in his appointments with her in the last six months or so and she has been very supportive of me  since his death a year ago. I feel I  have learned a great deal about myself in the last few years and now honour my hubby's memory by reaching goals that I set myself.

Ness, if you are reading this I am sorry to interrupt your thread and do hope that you can get your husband to understand your feelings of loneliness as you come deal with you own diagnosis.  I doubt you are over-reacting or too needy but can only imagine how  distressed you are feeling when unable to get the full support of your other half. Do come and chat on the forum anytime as there will be others who can understand how you feel just now. Sending a virtual hug.  Jules

Hi CG

You are definitely not alone with how you felt. I joined the forumduring my husband's journey because of my fear and frustrations and was so appreciative of the support of  virtual strangers who became virtual friends through the saddest of reasons.  For us it became easier to cope once we understood each others thoughts and, as they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing! My husband just could not bear to talk about his illness as he could not cope with the emotions it brought.  I on the other hand needed to know how best to bring comfort into his day to day living and pushed my fear for my future on to the back burner (though this caused much inner stresses I felt selfish worrying about my future when my hubby did not have one).

Although my hubby kept me at a distance I never doubted his love  for me as always blamed cancer not the man. I do not think we ever feel we did enough but through talking  on the forum and after my husband's death, to his GP,  I am comforted by the fact that I had  a long marriage, children and grandchildren who shared our love and loss and often think now that he felt he was preparing me for a time without him .  His GP got me involved in his appointments with her in the last six months or so and she has been very supportive of me  since his death a year ago. I feel I  have learned a great deal about myself in the last few years and now honour my hubby's memory by reaching goals that I set myself.

Ness, if you are reading this I am sorry to interrupt your thread and do hope that you can get your husband to understand your feelings of loneliness as you come deal with you own diagnosis.  I doubt you are over-reacting or too needy but can only imagine how  distressed you are feeling when unable to get the full support of your other half. Do come and chat on the forum anytime as there will be others who can understand how you feel just now. Sending a virtual hug.  Jules