Hi Dave, not sure I qualify to comment as I have found my way to this site because my much loved friend has been diagnosed with lung cancer, but can only speak from my own experiences with my dad. He became ill shortly before retiring at the age of 63 and rapidly declined. He begged me to help end his life and in all honesty there were times when I really wanted to step up to the plate and help him such was my love for him. Inevitably I couldn't and felt a complete failure. He sadly ended his own life alone so I would totally agree with assisted suicide. To die with control and dignity is something everyone hopes for.

Gobur,

I think you more than qualify to comment, thanks for sharing your experience.

I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad died alone, that must have been so hard for you and your family.

Best wishes

Dave

There are so many sides to this debate and no clear cut answers.  In my situation, I just really wish there were many more hospices, or wards who specialise in end-of-life care so that I had the comfort to know that when I reach the last stages of this disease, my family and I could be together, treated with dignity and support by specialised staff and kept pain-free and conscious.  If facilities like these were available to us it would take away all the fear of dying in pain with little care available for the patient and no support for their loved ones.  I would be a happy person if I could get to know my future carers now and know what to expect when things took a turn for the worse.

This is just my personal dream and I know doesnt really contribute to this debate x

Thanks to everyone for joining in and sharing your stories.

@Max - that's a good point. Just after I was diagnosed I was asked whether I'd like to visit the local hospice to see the facilities and meet the staff. At the time I thought this was pretty insensitive andpremature, but I guess that as I get closer to the end that might be a good idea. 

Ideally I think would like an end of life experience similar to my Mum's, at home with my family, pain-free and high as a kite on morphine, but who knows what the future will bring?  

The sad thing is that we have no hospice in our area and the hospital has a bad reputation for EOLC.  There doesn't seem to be many hospice facilities and I wish there was as much care taken of those whose life's are ending, as those whose are beginning - both important times in the circle of life.  X

I so agree with you Max.   I think we could all face things a little better if we knew that in our last weeks or days we would be cared for by professionals who knew what to do.  Sadly, there are very few hospices and, even if you have a local one, it doesnt mean they will have the space to take you when the time comes.  

I suppose this is the reason I probably agree with assisted dying.  :-(

Hi Pauline - nice to hear from you and I hope you are feeling ok.  You are so right with what you say.  I find it very sad that we have to consider such drastic options because of lack of facilities, it shouldnt be that way x

No, it shouldn't Max, that is why I think this is such a helpful post.  It isn't just talking about assisted dying, but letting us unburden ourselves with the fear of what the end may bring.  Not something we can really talk about with family and friends.

Hi Pauline

The consensus on this thread seems to be that it would be better to have decent end of life care rather than have to legalise euthanasia because of a lack of it. Dying in hospital is so clinical and unpersonal, my mother died in hospital with hepatitis she told us everyday she wanted to go home, the logistics of her doing so were very difficult but I think it would have been possible to do. I regret it to this day that I and my family did not make an attempt to fulfill her wishes. My father died of cancer at home, without pain or anxiety, with his family constantly around him. We brought him home after spending a week at the hospice, his death was hastened with the Liverpool pathway a hospice nurse visited daily. I think it is important to speak with our families about how we wish to spend our last days. I have no fear of death itself , but I am afraid of the bit before I get there. I would like to be free of pain, not have my life extended to endure more suffering, and I wish to be at home with those I love. But I would also like to have the option of an early exit should I so choose if the situation becomes unbearable.

Hi Kim.  I think your sentiments would be echoed by the majority and I also agree that it is important for us all to talk to our families about our wishes.  We should feel fully assured that, whether we choose to be cared for at home or in a hospice, those we love will be able to be there with us and adequate and pertinent care/facilities will be provided.  It is perfectly feasible with the drugs available nowadays that we should not have the added worry of being in unbearable pain.  Bob Cole's experience has been extensively covered in our daily newspapers but wouldn't it have been wonderful if instead of lobbying for and promoting legalised euthanasia, the Press had explored and uncovered the shortfalls in our healthcare system and the real reasons why this unfortunate gentleman had to make such a drastic decision. Take care.

Hi Kim.  I think your sentiments would be echoed by the majority and I also agree that it is important for us all to talk to our families about our wishes.  We should feel fully assured that, whether we choose to be cared for at home or in a hospice, those we love will be able to be there with us and adequate and pertinent care/facilities will be provided.  It is perfectly feasible with the drugs available nowadays that we should not have the added worry of being in unbearable pain.  Bob Cole's experience has been extensively covered in our daily newspapers but wouldn't it have been wonderful if instead of lobbying for and promoting legalised euthanasia, the Press had explored and uncovered the shortfalls in our healthcare system and the real reasons why this unfortunate gentleman had to make such a drastic decision. Take care.