Hi Conway, welcome to the forum, but sorry for the trouble you're having. I'm a woman and I have bladder cancer, (along with a few other cancers that I won't go into here), but I wanted to reply to your post. I'm assuming you have had BCG treatments? Have you also had surgery, (other than the usual TURBT ones) and likely you have had the 3 month cystoscopies. I still have my bladder, but I think eventually, it will be taken out. I don't have a problem with incontinence as yet, but I have a need to be near a washroom most of the time. I assume you have discussed this problem with your urology team. Did they have any suggestions for you? I don't think there are too many forum members on here with bladder cancer as I seem to be the only one. Bladder cancer is more often found in men than women, so I'm surprised that there aren't many men on here with it.

You say you had it 3 years ago, so I assume that you don't still have it. Did your bladder cancer originate in the prostrate, or did it start out as bladder cancer. I'm told mine started in the bladder, but then a tumor was located in my ureter (the tube coming from the kidney) and I'm wondering if my bladder cancer started in the ureter, rather than the other way around. That will be a question for my urologist next time around.

I wish I had a magic answer for you to deal with incontinance, but I don't. The only suggestion I have is protective underwear, but I'm sure you already are aware of that. It is a real problem I know, as I have to deal with it temporarily after surgery, and/or treatment.

Hopefully, there will be somone on here who can better relate to your specific issue. Or may I suggest you contact the nurses on this forum. You can either phone them (during busines hours), or post a question in the category "Ask the Nurses".  

Take care.

Lorraine