In a bad place.

First of all I want to say thank you Brian for your kind words on the thread that Ghost posted. It is nice to be thought about and after those brief posts I decided to follow my own advice and write about the bad place I feel I am in right now.

As some will know I have lost many friends and loved ones to cancer over the years with last year being the worst.  It was difficult watching my Dad get sicker but I feel I was actually dealing with things relatively well and even after he died in May I have coped about as well as anyone could expect although I still do mourn him because I miss him so much.  Unfortunately my Aunty died last November and it feels like her passing was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Ever since I feel like a fundementally different person!

I don't just have less patience I am actually just plain angry a lot of the time.  I look at things differently in a way that nothing seems all that important and I find it hard to put in the full effort to work and things in general that I have always given in the past.  My mind is constantly full of thoughts and feelings that will not go away no matter how I try to reason with them or sort them out in my head. I just feel different and what scares me the most is that because of my state of mind I feel differently about the the one person who has given me such great support through everything - my wife. She is such a wonderful person and has done nothing to deserve ending up with me not being the same person she married.  My Mum said a couple of years ago that "grief does funny things to people" and she was speaking from experience although I didn't fully appreciate what she meant at the time.

I have tried to concentrate on the positives in my life, of which there are many but it seems to make no difference.  Even when I read what difficult times others are going through, Beaker83 for instance, I feel guilty for wallowing in my own selfish thoughts when others are are so much worse off but even then I just revert back to my own petty problems and wrap myself back up in self pity.

Hopefully I may feel a little better for writing this and let me just thank you for reading.

Take care everyone.

Garf. 

  • Hi GARF

    We haven't spoke much, but I wanted to say

    I'm so sorry for your recent loss x

    Thinking of u and ur family

  • Thank you very much Mylittlesunshine.

    Feeling a little better at the moment although work is a little stressful this week, particularly yesterday and today.  Looking forward to a few days at home next week.

    Garf.

  • Hello Garf

     

    Though I would let you know I am keeping you in my thoughts on your own thread (in case you get fed up reading mine).  Hope the help you are receiving locally is proving useful and that work is not being too much of a pain (wishful thinking no doubt).  As to Christmas we came to agreements years ago that 'presents' were limited to 'small token gifts' to help everyone's pocket' and at our age the company is more important. Have kids, grandchildren and sister in law for lunch this coming Sunday so expect to find our more re Isle of Man relocation (contracts now exchanged on sale and purchase so things moving ahead).

    Look after  yourself and Mrs G.  Jules x

  • Hi Garf

    Just to let you know am keeping you in my thoughts and hope you are not being run off your feet (our place is definitely seeing increased footfall due to the time of year. Look after yourself.Jules x

  • Hi Garf

    Just thought I would post on your own thread just in case you are 'reading'.  My thoughts  continue to be with you and your family and hope you are receiving the support you need to help with dealing with the demons that at preventing you from enjoying life to the full.  Also hope that by now Hannah is receiving any treatment that may have been required or, at the very least, they have found out the cause of her pain. Take care my forum friend.Hugs  Jules x

  • Hi Garth,

    So pleased to see your name crop up on the forum again. Just want to send kind thoughts and best wishes your way, your forum buddie, Brian