Beaker, Thank you so much for a prompt reply.

I'll have a quick look at the drugs you mentioned on the CR website to give me a bit of a heads up. . . Even though nothing has been decided yet, I like to have some prior knowledge of the sort of thing to expect.

I am a little disappointed that surgery alone was not quite enough as I was hoping to only need 6 months off work (including a stoma reversal op!) but as we all know too well, cancer makes its own rules! And as you rightly say, only one node affected is better than a lot!

Your support here on this site is invaluable to people like me; thank you for taking the time to respond.

Jo xx

Hi Jo,

Great to hear that you had some positive results today.  I think you will feel more comfortable taking the chemo as it will cross all the boxes so to speak.  You have such a positive attitude that I'm sure you will be on a quick road to recovery and can start the chemo at the time the Drs think best.  Take care.  Hope xx

Hi Jo,

So pleased that you have been told you have clear margins. It is always nice to hear good news and you thoroughly deserve it. Chemo is something I know very little about. But I do know the feeling that good news gives us and the way it lifts our spirits.  I know how thrilled I was when my consultant told me my psa was so low it was only just measurable at 0.01. I came home on the bus with a smile a mile wide and anyone seeing me must have thought I'd won the lottery. But to get news like that was even better for I felt like I had been given a new life and I made an unconscious decision to enjoy my life to the full and to spend it doing what little I can to help others. I had to stay on the hormone therapy for about another fifteen months to mop up any stray cells  but I have now had 16 months with my psa this low. I am due for another blood test in just under a months time and I am not expecting any difference in the level, in fact I wont accept any change.

But back to you Jo. Just take your recovery slowly and try not to expect to much at once for you don't want to do too much to soon. Your friends are here for you as always. I hope your MRI scans go well and your recovery continues to go well.

Take good care of yourself, sending best wishes to you as always, Brian

Hi Hope ,

Thank you for your kind message.

I had a bit of a low last night.  I know logically that chemo is going to sort me out, but I had hoped to 'escape' another stage of treatment. My logical brain was telling me to get things in perspective and 'get a grip' (I'm sure there are many others who would be singing from the treetops with the news I had yesterday!) but I think I've been upbeat for so long, a slight stumble on the path is hardly surprising! Maybe a dose of daytime TV is just what I need! An hour with Jeremy Kyle is enough to make anyone count their blessings! Hehe!

Take care, Jo xxx

Hi Garf,

Thank you for your lovely message! And the happy face icon!

As I said to Hope, I hit a bit of a low last night! Mental process overdrive!!! Typically over thinking things as I tend to do!

I also joked with Hope that a dose of daytime TV should make me see life differently and count my blessings!!

With you mentioning Jeremy Kyle, my partner made me laugh the other day. He had turned on the TV just as Jeremy Kyle was on and astonishedly reported to me that the participants looked quite attractive and were fairly eloquent! I think he'd probably been watching Good Morning or Lorraine Kelly!

Lucky for me, I have a few good books to read and with going to bed early, there are few more evening programmes that I record and watch during the day.

Sounds as if I'm a lazybones! Actually, the inactivity (other than the compulsory exercises I have to do to avoid DVT) is driving me mad! But I'm a good patient (if not a patient one!) and all this lounging about will pay dividends in the long run!

I see you've been offering your support to another postee and his partner Richard. I loved how you told him, "after 3 posts, you're not a stranger" wonderful stuff!

Please keep posting as to how you're going on too!

Best wishes, Jo xxx

Hi Brian,

Thank you for your lovely message! It was a good news day wasn't it? I could have hugged my surgeon when he told me that he'd removed all the tumour! He did say it was quite large and quite advanced! This was news to my partner and I as I assumed I'd caught it really early! Obviously, still early enough though!

You are so right about how your perspective on life changes! I too, like you have already started 'living life' differently since my diagnosis. I've started a 'little book of joy' where I log the little things in life that we so often take for granted or simply overlook because we're too busy to notice! A bit like the Amazing quotes and Uplifting thought for the day threads on here!

I see from another thread you've been stocking up on nut supplies! I haven't seen the long range forecast for winter, but as any Boy Scout, Girl Guide or squirrel knows, you need to be prepared!! Just remember where you bury them!!! We have a squirrel who digs up our lawn every year, looking for lost nuts!

Can I suggest that you do some consumer research with the new season chestnuts? Taste Test all the packets you've bought and then when you're sure they pass the Brian test, go and buy some more! As long as Mrs B doesn't mind!

Well, it's nearly midday and time to do a few exercises to keep the DVT's away! It's cloudy but dry here, so I may incorporate a little walk around the garden in to the regime! (And see if our squirrel has started on the lawn yet!)

Take care, Brian, best wishes, Jo xx

Hi Jo,

Sorry to her you had a bit of a low last night.  You have been through an awful lot and I think you have been amazing, you cannot be expected to stay upbeat without having some lows.  Sometimes our logical brain doesn't make any difference because what we feel in our heart takes over.  I hope you've been having a rest and god only knows that Jeremy Kyle is definitely enough to make us count our blessings!  I hope your friends and family are pampering you and that you are soon feeling a little more upbeat again.  Hope x

Hi Jo,

I just love the idea of doing consumer research on chestnuts. Now that is a job I would happily come out of retirement for. I could ask different shops for free samples to see if their nuts meets the Brianitus kite mark. I could then get a plentiful supply completely free as every time they have a new batch I would just have test them wouldn't I. That's excellent thinking Jo. As for Mrs B minding, she is used to me and my nutty ways by now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care Jo, best wishes, Brian,

Hi again Jo,

First of all I am sorry for not responding yesterday but with a very busy time at work and getting home feeling like an old rag that's been wrung out once too often, this has turned into one of those weeks that I haven't visited the site as often as I would like.  I must also say that I love your idea of "a little book of hope".  Certainly writing it will give you a little distraction from all the television you are forced to watch right now.

I am sorry you were feeling low but with everything you have been through it is bound to happen, especially if you have so much time on your hands to ponder your situation.  Maybe the next time you feel low you could find a re-run of our friend Mr Kyle to lift your spirits.  It certainly makes me feel better when he is on in the morning but I have to turn him off to go to work.

Keep up the good work.

Garf. xxx