Hello,
This is the first time ever that i have used a chat room, i hope i can get some help and advise from anyone in the same/similar situation as me. I lost my mum on 22nd september 2012 to a rare aggressive inoperable cancer which originated from licens sclerosis to vulval cancer, both of which were maintained and treated. It wasnt until a secondary cancer to her lymph nodes in her groin that things took a bad turn. In february this year things started to appear and after a dose of radiation in June she slowly started to deteoriated and endured excruiatingly painful fungating tumours in the most private of areas, and we watched her die a slow and painful death. My poor little dad who is 80 was in denile all the time and refused to admit the full scale of things, and wouldn't face up to facts is devasted after 52 years of marriage some one he loved so dearly died so suddenly and in such an awful way. I am one of four siblings so formed a close bond with my two sisters and brother ( who is due to emigrate to Australia on new years eve ). My husband works hard and is a good man, we have been married 25 years this year, He is a good father to our grown up sons, and i love him very dearly,but he was bought up by parents who didnt show any love or affection, now over the years i have learnt cope with this and tried to show him how to be loving and caring as my family background is total oposite to his, he's done ok not brilliant but has tried. Since all this with mum i feel i have been totally deserted by him, he doesnt know what to say or do to comfort me and i am finding this hard, he finds it difficult to talk about things. I dont need much just to be asked if im ok or to just put his arm round me, just a few nice reassuring words but nothing. I am beginning to resent him for this I tend to lean on people that are open and kind and caring and this helps. I can see him closing in on me and me on him too. We managed to have a weekend away to spain a couple of weeks ago which i thought may help, it was nice to get away but conversation was a struggle. Has anyone experienced a similar diagnosis as mum as we were told only 5% of people get thie type of cancer and would be good to chat to others.
bye for now Julie