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I smoke, I drink, I have cancer. I deserve no support

goldielocks
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Ok, so I have been in and out of this site for 2 years now. But I have never heard anyone talk about smoking, sometimes about drinking, but that all seems okay. Do you know, I have had so much support from people on this site and I hope I have returned it to others in some small way, but never have I had a discussion or seen a discussion about smoking on this site. I fear I will alienate those who have supported me or feel that I have betrayed those I have tried to support I guess. I'm not a tramp (although it wouldn't matter if I was), I'm a successful well paid manager. I have or had cancer for the last 2 years and I smoke and I drink. There it is. I don't need to hear that it's bad, because I know it is. When I was diagnosed, I did give up (both), but when I started to get better, I started again. For me, I just wanted to feel normal again, the old me, not the new cancer victim me. I'm sorry to those that fight this and I continue to press that self destruction button. Obviously I'm not that sorry because I continue to do it. I'm sure this entry will inspire some antagonism or self help support, I just want to tell the truth. I'm sorry. Julie xxx

  • Offline in reply to jackholly

    Hi Jack,

    I accepted your invite for prvate messaging but having trouble setting it up - all this bloody technology is something to get my head round, I will navigate this site soon I'm sure.  Anyway just wanted tto check in and see how you're doing today?  Not even sure how to pick up messages - I'm only just mastering email, oh lord gie me strength.

    S x

    PS I'm only in my 40's and work in an office at a computer all day you'd think i'd have a grasp on the basics eh?

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    Hi Julie

    I am so glad you put the post on about smoking and drinking. Like you once i felt better and was through treatment i just wanted to feel like me again so i went straight back on the cigs and the wine was opened, and how bad it sounds, i loved it because it was what the old elaine done not this person that i am now wrecked and knackered, i was able to have a part of the old me back. please dont ever feel guilty about it because when i was dignosed with breast cancer my doctors told me that it was nothing to do with smoking it was all hormonal so i am out the other side now (for the time being lol) and i want me to feel like the old me again so if that means smoking, drinking and having a million cups of tea aday then that is what i am going to do.

    So nice to read your post, keep in touch and let me know how you are getting on.

    Elaine

    xxxxxx

  • Offline in reply to Elaineac

    Thank you ElaIine

    and I'm so glad you're out the other side (like me.... for the moment), and hopefully for a long long time.

    All my love to you. Juliexxxxxx

  • Offline in reply to goldielocks

    Hi Julie

    No worries it is just nice to hear that someone thinks the same as i do.

    Love

    Elaine

    xx

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    Hi all

    I also felt this guilt for a while although i have not been diagnosed i have been waitin on my biopsy 15days been suffering pain in my joints and my muscle for well over a year now i dont really drink but do smoke canabis from the age of 16 i have only smoked cigarettes in joints i have never smoked a cigarette without canabis i am not a lay about and have worked really hard from age of 16 and have a small business which i am very proud of and also been a keen jogger and my fitness has always been good until now where i struggle to get up a ladder at the moment i have great support at home and dont know where i would be without my partner but the waitin is a nightmare i had come on here just while i am on my own to see what is normal procedure and to just find information not that great at the hospital with info when u see a doctor you ask questions but the mind goes blank think that could be old age though just dreading bad news because i think my life is great and have two beautiful daughters and cant bear the thought of telling them i have been really postive but when i am not busy it creeps in to my mind. still not stopped smoking yet but i find it is very relaxing at the moment so not stopping yet but probably will when i get my results.

    thanks ritchie

  • Offline in reply to ritchie

    Hi Ritchie

    Let us know what information you are looking for and we will try to find it for you. There's also a chance to chat with others who have been in the same boat and may know how you are feeling.

    Welcome to Cancer Chat.

    Best wishes

    Jane

  • Offline

    Nobodys perfect luv.  Stop beating yourself up and take care luv Linda xx

  • Offline in reply to ritchie

    But.... Since you are here,  What kind of cancer do you have? I was diagnosed in Nov 2011 this is scary stuff.

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    love love love you are you sure your not me cos u sound like it lol xoxo your life is exactly that YOUR life xoxo ps mines a whisky and coke and a packet of jps please xoxo

  • Offline

    Life is short , when you have any type of Cancer your life changes . My husband has a Scotch and lemonade every lunch time . A glass or 2 of red wine lunch & supper . For me the most important thing is to let him Enjoy what ever time he has left . So for me a little of what you fancy is all that’s important.

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