Jackie,

you know you really are the leader of the pack lol, I find that your words always make more sense than mine, you always manage to keep my thoughts where they should be. (just thoughts) lol

I do find that I have become very concerned and care about you all in the short time I have been in this group.

Hiya Rose hope it's been a good day for you

Hugs to all

Dot xxx

Hi Dot

believe me I'm no leader! We are as we are, and its the differences in us all, that manage to combine to help each other when we need it. Phew not sure that makes sense!

I took to the forum initially to try and help, I didn't think I needed to sound off as I'm lucky enough to have a close group of friends with different tolerances! However, chatting on here gives me something extra, almost unguarded and the understanding of all being in the same boat is invaluable. Unfortunately for you guys and my friends I don't do down, maybe it will come but it hasn't yet! Unlike you guys a couple of my friends keep trying to probe 'how I'm really feeling/coping' its taken the last year for them to realise that I'm always honest with them and what they see is what they get, lol. That was hard work as I'm not good on the touchy, feeling sympathy things!

One of the hardest things I found with having cancer was that I seemed to become everybodys 'property'. I work with a large team (approx 30 nurses) and suddenly they all felt the need to get touchy, feeley diff not my style, which they all knew and said tough they needed it! Then when the hair grew back it was soft and curly, like a babies and all and sundry felt the need to pat my head and have a feel! Not hard as I'm only just 5 foot lol. To my suprise I managed to tolerate it :grin:

This group is, for me, one of the best things that has come out of having cancer. I feel I sort of know you all and am almost more interested in whats happening to you all than whats happening to me!

Hopefully there's strength in numbers and we'll all do well and meet up someday.

Keep smiling

Jackie xxx

Jackie, you explained that really well, people can not belive that when you say to them... yes i feel fine, even better i feel great.... they look at you very suspiciously and still say, do you, do you really!!!!

Because after feeling so ill.... when you start to feel a bit better even, you appriciate that and feel gratefull for that .xxx

Debbie.x

Hi All. I had my laparoscopy on the 13th July and had biopsies taken from the abdominal area. However, I am still in hospital as I havent had my bowels opened for eleven days so they wouldnt let me go home. These past 6 days they have plugged me with laxitives, senocot, suppositries, enema and pickolax. With still no effect !! However, today they have told me that a CT scan reveals that the tumour in my tummy has grown and is now pressing hard against my intestine causing it to kink and become completely blocked. I am having a ''gastro graffin enema'' tomorow morning followed by another scan. Then I think they are going to put a stent into my intestine to keep it open. Once this bowel problem has been sorted, then I shall have three lots of chemo, then a total hysterectomy followed by another three lots of chemo. This bowel obstruction is a real nuisance as it is delaying the start of my chemo. I am not looking forward to the next six months and hope to be on this site a bit more regularly once I get home and then I can get to now you girlies better.

Love to all Jayne xxx

Hi Debbie

Thanks for understanding, post chemo so wasn't sure I'd phrased it very well!

Jayne, great to hear from you, was getting worried as knew you should be home by now. Bummer about the bowel obstruction fingers crossed they can sort you out soon. Once you get started on the chemo the tumour should shrink which will help but not quick enough to use now! Hope your not feeling too uncomfortable!

Forget about the next 6 months its one day at a time or probably more accurately one problem at a time. Once you get started it goes pretty quick believe me!

Take care and let us know how you get on when you can.

Love Jackie xxx

Hi Jayne,

it is good to hear from you, as Jackie said we were concerned when you didn't post, frustration comes when things are delayed for one reason or another and many seem to experience this. Hopefully they will sort it out soon and chemo can begin.

I have found the only way to deal with all of this is to be positive, and with the help from the girls on here I seem to be able to rein myself back in when things don't go according to plan, very hard when one feels vulnerable.

Thinking of you today Eileen, hope all goes well for you.

Jackie and Debbie, when my neighbour first found out about me she said she thought I looked fragile lol, at that point I looked a blossoming nine months pregnant ha! Can't imagine what she thinks of me now, after op I lost 15lbs. I found most of my friends were just shocked and didn't know what to say.

Thinking of you all today

Dot xxxxxxxx

Hi Jackie and everyone,

Did your chemo run smoothly on the 16th Jackie? How many have you had now? I am not too bad post chemo thank you, I felt really tired and had a bad bout of constipation.( but not as bad as yours Jayne, I want to say hello and send you my best wishes, the problem you have must be terrible). I had to stay in hospital over night to get it sorted. I came home last night. Like you Jackie I am a nurse, but stopped working in 2003 when my husband died. I have a wonderful partner now called Andy. I am not sure being a nurse helps or hinders. What do you think, Jackie?

When does the taste problem kick in? Mine seems to be ok at the minute. I also haven't got the aching problem, although I have only had two chemo treatments and also I am only on carboplatin.

Do any of you ladies have fluid on your lungs?, I have a small amount in my right lung making me feel breathless at times.

I am keeping my fingers crossed Jackie that your clotting problem doesn't come back.

Hi Eileen sorry you have had problems too.

I am still trying to read everyone's posts and will make a big effort to do so.

Regards to everyone,

Kathym

I was diagonsed in January - Had gone to my Doctor for over a year with EVERY classic symptom of the disease....she did not listen..I told her I could not breathe...one listen to my back and she diagnosed me with emphysema, ehich my Dad had died of a few weeks before, (so that was March 09) - Put me on inhalers - did nothing - I gained over 40 lbs...I lost that and about 10 more - she told me I was lucky...I went back for more weight gain.....FINALLY when I looked about 11 months pregnant and had 3.5 litres of fluid on my chest she gave me an internal exam and DAMN I had STAGE 3 CANCER...Had full hysterectomy and 3 tumors plus removed in February 2010 - they were not able to get 2 small lobes of cancer as were on my diaphragm so that stayed - I have had chemo every 3 weeks since March and just finished 3 weeks ago - Will have a cat scan next week to see whether the cancer is gone, back, there, somewhere else....I also have problems with my feet - this has gotten worse..I did fall and sprained my ankle, badly, so have been in physical therapy for that but I mean HURT - by bedtime I cannot stand the burning of my feet that goes all the way up my leg, to my upper legs, and rubbing ang rubbing does no good...for my sprained ankle I have found that doing my excercises under the bathtub tap, starting with coolish water and going to COLD feels great....because it numbs everything - I now do it to both feet and upper legs right before bed..I also have the heater on in my bed, even ehen it is 80 degrees outside!! and since it only covers 1/2 the bed I can move to warmth and cool all night....I have been VERY positive since the beginning of this whole mess....I had told my sister, years ago, that by the time I was 32 I would have this cancer, so I kind of feel like I have always had it.....strange but true, so my reaction, when my DR. told me was, "I'm not surprised....I have learned that ALL I NEED TO DO is get dressed and show up..the get dressed part ONLY VALID if leaving the house, otherwise, I just need to "show up" That helps your mind alot, I think..I have 2 daughters and a hubby, My hubby has shut down on me and I am very much alone in this whole thing...to get him to help I literally have to be in tears..very frustrating and very sad...although his work pressures are many, I was #1 when I first came home and now I am barely on his list of priorities, or sure feels that way...feel free to connect with me - ANYTIME!!! Hugs to you, I understand......Believe me - Oh, BTW I live in the USA in Vermont - a little teeny state in the northern part of the US....Hugs....

Hi Ladies

Dot- I can understand where your coming from with friends for me however I'm single and therefore my freinds are all nurses and while they found it difficult, not one walked away! As I say they each have there own strengths some can't cope with the dying subject some can, some want to wrap me in cotton wool while others have me out exploring for exercise - I need each of them! The most difficult one is my friend that I share a house with, she has been a total godsend but is not the best talker, having supported me through everything she went down big time and ended up with depression. We have ended up in a difficult position as she needs to talk about it but I'm probably not the best person for her to talk to but she's not good at talking to the others. Vicious circle, but we'll get there.

Kathym - Yep no problems at the time and still have fingers loosely crossed about the clots. This was only my first (but 2nd time round) so in big trouble if clots kick in this quick, been very naughty have increased my Asperin for the last few days as my injection sites haven't been bruising lol. Decided the odds were much higher with me clotting than bleeding. Help or hinder, buth I think it helps when things get complicated and you have to 'remind' Drs and think ahead for yourself but it hinders when the thought process is distrubted by chemo and the Drs don't realise it! My Drs have a habit of forgetting I'm a patient and at times a lot of what they say goes over my head as this is not my field of nursing. I don't get any aches or pains either, am coming to the conclusion that as others are not complaining bitterely about the taste that my smoking my have a lot to do with it! No fluid on my lungs.........yet!

Eileen - yes it was just like the way people treat pregnant ladies! Think you need to speak to your nurse or someone - why would you need a colostomy if there is no sign of the tumour (not only on scan but nothing on rectal either)? What is upper pelvis (mine was throughout the abdo which I think is outside the pelvic area therefore had spread further than the pelvis, it didn't stop them operating). My Surgeon left a small tumour on the bowel which he said the 3 remaining doses of chemo would sort (interestinly that one ain't come back!). I think you need to press a bit - if they say they can't really say, ask them what further information they need to be able to say. Don't get me wrong they cannot guarentee anything but they usually give advice on which way is best to go (often helped by, if it was you what would you do!) You don't have to take the advice but it should give you some options to consider.

Hi VermontMum, welcome to our group. My first 6 doses of chemo caused on end of problems with my feet, over the last 8 months it has slowly improved and now I just have a little numbness in the toes on the left foot. On Doxil/carbo this time and so far no numbness in feet or hands!

Take care all.

Jackie xxx