Hi Dot,

I am fuming about that message you sent as why is it that people say oh its going to be ok and its normal to feel like that. I wonder if the boot was on the other foot would they be calm and collective. Do they not realise that having this cancer inside your body takes over every emotion you have. And you are right to be annoyed about it. We all know cancer is a fast growing thing and can spread quickly. I was the same when I was waiting for my chemo to start and I knew I had it from 2nd Feb ( although not diagnosed by oncologist ) and had to wait until mid April for chemo plus I had not had the operation to take it out. I got the same response . Anyway I have had my rant now sorry everyone.:cry:

I hope you get some joy on Monday on the phone.....

Hope Jackie your feeling ok and slept well. Hi to everyone else xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Dot

Sorry to hear you've had such a bad night, the worst time for all the fears to come out and god do they take over! 8 weeks is a long time but probably not in the life of the cancer. Anytime I've been left with these thoughs I always say it took at least a year if not longer to grow and aggressive or not it won't go nowhere in that 8 weeks length of time. From what you say the operation cleared it all so the chemo is mearly to mop up any stray cells. I had a cm tumour left on the bowel after my op and the 3 doses of chemo got rid of it and pre op it shrank all the tumours a lot so it can easily deal with whatever grows in an 8 weeks period. However, once chemo finishes you will get the same feelings, is it growing again, how quickly, how do I know etc. I have no answer to how to deal with this as its hard to get your head around as the last thing you want is it back but you end up so focused on it coming back it drives you mad! Do phone the hospital and first hand advice its better than worrying.

Eileen so far I have no effects from chemo! Spent 3 hours down lottie, mainly pottering and supervising my 2 friends! not hyper despite even more steroids than last time and managed 6 hours sleep last night! long may it conntinue! Is it Tues you go and see surgeon?

Rose, can't manage the peaches but have loads of plums on a tree, won't be ready for a while get though!

Hope you have a better night Dot

Love to all

Jackie xxx

HI everyone,

thanks for your support, it really helped me!!

Love and hugs to everyone, hope you are all doing well.

The paranoia has passed, I really don't know why I got so freaked, it is so unlike me, maybe letting off steam was exactly what I needed.

My husband took me shopping, then we had a lovely meal, it was lovely to be able to get out and enjoy the sunshine

I finally uploaded a photo of myself.

Oh yes, I live in Surrey, we seem to be spread far and wide.

Love Dot xxxx

Hi Dot,

Lovely to put a face to the name & may I say you look great I know we are all over the place which is amazing that that we have all met and become friends and I hope we remain that for many years to come. Hi Jackie hope your still doing ok and glad you slept well. Let us know what happens Dot with the phone call tomor...... Love to Rose Kathym & anyone else I have missed out .....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi All

Nice to see you Dot! must admit my photo is pre-illness, now a stone and a half heavier and really curly hair (thou not for much longer!), hope I can avoid further weight gain this time!

Went out walking today so energy still ok. Had forgotten that little and often goes better with food for a few days! Just remembered daily temp, funny they assume you'll remember everything cos they didn't run through anything this time!

Glad your feelings happier Dot but phone anyway, could be right about just needing to release emotions but a phone call won't hurt them.

Take care ladies

Jackie xxx

Hi everyone,

Jackie I am so glad you are doing ok this time, ugh weight gain, yet another not so nice thing with this lol, I keep wondering how I will be, I am imagining I will have every symptom going lol, but I know it has to be done. I hope you continue feeling as good as you are!!

I am definitely going to ring tomorrow as they were so insistent I was having chemo after 3rd week, so I want to know why 8 weeks will be ok lol. On the first ct scan I had a 17cm mass, by the time I had my op I had two tumours which they said were like 6 month foetus, one slightly smaller. I was told as far as they could see it wasn't touching anything else, but when I was reading the letters they sent me one said........ one adnexa was in close proximity to the pelvic wall and another said the adnexa was firmly attached to the pelvic wall, I will query that too. I am wondering how I didn't notice that before. Hopefully I can clear this all up tomorrow, I think I must have been in a daze these last six weeks, so much I didn't pay attention to.

Hi Eileen and Rose, keep strong

Hope everyone else is doing well

Love Dot

Hi Dot, Hope the phone call went as you expected. Let us all know what they said....Kathym are you ok as not read anything from you or maybe I have ( brain cells again ) I am feeling better but took 2 weeks to recover this time not sure if chemo still going ahead next week will know tomor, can't wait for it to come as my Daughter is due her Baby in 3 weeks and would love to get up to Manchester to see her.. Take Care Ladie's xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back again, hope you are all doing great!!!

Spoke to the nurse and mentioned my concerns, about the long wait for chemo, she told me there had been some problems arranging an appointment for me at the hospital requested (hmm I had the kidney and ct scan there) but she has spoken to the Professor I saw at my designated hospital and they have offered to start Friday 23rd there and the rest of the chemo at the hospital near me.

I said all I need is the assurance that the cancer hasn't spread and I will willingly wait the ten days, she said unfortunatly they couldn't give me any assurances on that, so I have opted for Friday, this does not fill me with confidence!! I will be seen a week earlier I just hope everything will be fine.

I am trying to stay positive, but the gremlins are back again

Love to all xxxxxxxxx

Eileen your post came through just after I posted mine.

I am sorry it took longer for you to recover and my fingers are crossed that yours can go full steam ahead.

My head is addled and I can't remember who has written or not, but I do have you all in my thoughts and prayers

Love Dot xxx