Hi

if you would like to talk about it message me and we can do it privetly

Erika xx

Hi Ladies (and Tony)

I thought it was about time that I checked in...... lots of things have happened to me in the last year.

I have really struggled since losing my mum, and seemed to have more bad days than good........ but that finally seems to have turned around now.

Let me give you the short version

I had reconstructive surgery April 2011 and unfortunately the left side rejected..... I then had to wait 10 months before they did it again..... this time it didn't reject, but the filler port went missing..... after 3 or 4 appointments, the surgeon finally sent me for an ultra sound.... and then they found the filler port, but it had collapsed under the bottom rib, causing the implant to flip over, so when ever i took my sports bra off, my left breast slipped down my chest about 6 inches (looking back now i can see the funny side ) but at the time i didn't.

I was supposed to be going on holiday to Portugal on the 13th of this month but I had to cancel because I had more surgery scheduled for 11th May..... The surgery seemed to go well and I have 2 boobs again, but it now looks like the surgeon has used a bigger implant in the left side than the right (deep joy) So I'm sat writing this with a chest full of stitches.... but I feel whole again for the first time in 20 months...... and the holiday has been re booked for last week in august, so that will give me something to aim for.

I dont know if i have to have more surgery until i go back to the consultant on thursday..... I will keep you all informed.

Another plus is...... I am doing the race for life on the 24th June..... in fact we have a team from my local pub "the corner pin girls" there are 7 of us doing it so far, my daughter, her best mate (landlady's daughter) a young barmaid, my friend and her daughter and our friend Ann, a pensioner who is a regular in the pub...... we have raised quite a lot of money already................... All the youngsters are jogging, and Ann got a bit upset because she said she was going to walk it..... I told her i was walking it too, so we would walk together...... to which Ann said "I will probably come last"..... so i just smiled and said "Ann, you're a pensioner and i will be a month out of surgery, as long as we finish, that's all that matters"...... so that is something else to look forward to.

I think I have rambled on enough now..... I am glad to see so many people doing so well

Love to all

Caz Xxx

Will message her now. Xxx

Thank you xxx

Hi All

I had an appoint today to see the surgeon after my operation, he informs me that I need another one next week as the tip of the tumour was against my mussel and he needs to take more as not happy with the margins. I realise that this is needed but so fed up and angry why is it you feel like nothing goes right for you. He is going in on the same cut as he done two weeks ago which quiet frankly makes  me feel sick but have to do what needs to be done.

On the upside of all this it was my implants that potentially saved my life I was told as it made the tumour push out rather than going towards my chest bone and ribs so it is not true what a lot of people say about them, I had the implants as I had breast cancer four years ago on my right breast this is in my left breast and different type altogether, this does scare me at times as I know what's to come with the chemotherapy although I appreciate it has moved forward a lot in four years.

Well that is my rant over now and thanks for listening

Little Sis (Linda)

You can go consult other surgeon if you want, my sister has Breast cancer and we seek for second opinion, and we find the best surgeon in India. It is always better to seek for second opinion, even though it is abroad, it's all worth it.

Hi Kaleah

Sorry to read what you are going through and we are all here to help each other. How are things going for you have you had your second operation yet? Like you I have to go back in tomorrow as they need to take some more of the mussel as margins not good, let me tell you I am petrified to, I try and think to myself all is fine unsure if I am trying to convince myself or my family and friends.

My sleeping has been up and down what about you hope it has got better or have you spoken to your team to help you. Well keep in touch and let us know how you are doing

Take Care

Little Sis (Linda)

Hiya hun

I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner. I've had some problems over Christmas I'm at the hospital today.  Here anytime you want a chat about anything.

Xxx

Hi Bin job I

No problems knew you would get in touch soon we all have other things going on are you ok give me a shout when you get back from the hospital hope all goes well and then we can have a chat so much to talk about sending a cyber hug

Little Sis

Hello All

Well just thought I would catch up with you all going back in hospital today so hopefully they will do what needs to be done and I will be home tomorrow, must admit not looking forward to it all again just want to be normal again whatever that is.

This disease is just so nasty I hate it why do we need to suffer like this when there is so much more things going on in the world it is all so mixed up, I hate it

Sorry all but I have had enough already

Linda

I know how you feel hun. Yesterday wasn't the best of days. But we'll all support each other and we'll gwt through the bad days.

Sending you a big cyber hug thinking of you x

Hi Bon Jovi

How are you how did you get on at the hospital, Leonie was saying you went through it again last year, I have had enough of this disease not only is it enough we go through it the once, I was so sorry to hear of your fight again.

Well I came out of hospital again yesterday after my second operation I feel so down today and chemo hasn't even started yet, I have to go back Wednesday to see my Surgeon then of to the oncologist week after there is talk that I will have 18 weeks of chemo once a week, not looking forward to it it maybe from the taxatier group by what I remember that makes your mussels ache and hurt will let you know for definite when I find out.

Sorry to ask my dear friend but have you any advice on what to expect second time around I don't mean this how it sounds, did you find it harder etc, I am so angry I thought I had fought the fight of my life already but here I go again like yourself. I find myself asking why me again what have I done so wrong in my life to warrant this. I am of to have my hair cut this week to get ready for the Chemo as don't want the shock I had last time just don't know what else to do I'm just so angry and feel so down in myself and finding it hard to shake of.

Well hope you are all well and sorry for the rant but so fed up

Little Sis (Linda)

.

Hi Bon Jovi

How are you how did you get on at the hospital, Leonie was saying you went through it again last year, I have had enough of this disease not only is it enough we go through it the once, I was so sorry to hear of your fight again.

Well I came out of hospital again yesterday after my second operation I feel so down today and chemo hasn't even started yet, I have to go back Wednesday to see my Surgeon then of to the oncologist week after there is talk that I will have 18 weeks of chemo once a week, not looking forward to it it maybe from the taxatier group by what I remember that makes your mussels ache and hurt will let you know for definite when I find out.

Sorry to ask my dear friend but have you any advice on what to expect second time around I don't mean this how it sounds, did you find it harder etc, I am so angry I thought I had fought the fight of my life already but here I go again like yourself. I find myself asking why me again what have I done so wrong in my life to warrant this. I am of to have my hair cut this week to get ready for the Chemo as don't want the shock I had last time just don't know what else to do I'm just so angry and feel so down in myself and finding it hard to shake of.

Well hope you are all well and sorry for the rant but so fed up

Little Sis (Linda)

.

Hiya hun

Don't apologise for ranting we all need to sometimes.  How are you feeling today?

I know how you feel because I felt exactly the same way. Tbh second time around is easier and harder in equal measures.  Easier as in you know what to expect but harder for the same reason.  I got through it by constantly telling myself I've beaten this before I can do it again. I heard these words recently and they are so true. Don't look too far into the future and take each day one step at a time. You've beaten this before hun and you can do it again. As always we've got each others support and someone to listen and understand when we think no one else does. 

Sending you a cyber hug

Donna xx

Hi Ladies

So good to hear from you thought you had all forgotten about me lol only joking.

Yesterday was a bad day my mind was all over the place needed time out from everyone started crying from morning to night which is so unlike me, not sure if it is because they have stopped my tamoxifen or everything racing round my head probably both. I was also very sore from the second surgery bruises coming out fast and furious now. I just feel so down and need to try and shake this feeling as I need  to focus on what's coming up. Donna like you have said I have beaten it once will do it again although I am finding it harder to stay so positive as I know what is coming maybe an advantage in some ways, I just want to get on with it all now and get back to some sort of normality whatever that is.

Donna how are you now as you said you had the hospital the other day and has all your treatment finished now? What treatment did you have last year sorry to ask but just being nosey really ha ha.

Nina how are you and how was Christmas with the family as haven't heard from you must of been good:))))

Well thanks for listening to me really appreciate the support as find it hard sometimes explaining how I feel to family as don't want to burden them with my woes and honestly I don't think they really understand as much as they try, not their fault I know

Well cyber hugs to you all

Little Sis (Linda)

Hi ya girls

Littlesis I hate the thought of all you are going thru! I only know you from cyber space but I know you CAN do this!

What is hAppening to you is what we all dread so you need to know we will be here to support you whenever you need us !

We all live in different places (i live on south coast) so we all have slightly different "medical" experiences but we all have the same emotions!

Do u use face book? A few of us keep in touch with that!

Thank you we had a lovely christmas if the last couple years have taught us anything its live for today ! Both our mums are unwell and my daughters were 18 and 21 ! I am also 50 next thurday! So we decided to go mad and holiday over xmas and new year in the sun in barbados! Very extragavant but quality family time I will never forget!

Please please message ,rant ,shout , blub to us anytime !

Big cyber hug special lady xxx

Nina xxxx

Hi linda , how are you after your op? I feel for you babes and I know you're feeling rubbish but you know you can do this, we worry all the time that this awful disease is going to come back and I know you must feel like why me, you've done nothing wrong Honey, just fecking bad luck. You're strong and you will fight this the way you done four years ago. Its weird cause I haven't got rid of my wig cause in dont want to tempt fate, we know the taxotere makes your bones and muscles sore but at least you're prepared for that and get strong pain killers, any time you want to talk, just come on here and shout at us!, stamp your feet and cry cause you don't deserve this, but you will fight it!

Sorry Donna I didn't realize you had went through cancer again last year, hope youre keeping well?

Lots a love girls.  Colette xxx

Hello girls (and runningdrums)

Sorry I've not been around for a while but i've had loads going on, and it's not all good i'm afraid.

I got flu at the begining of 2013 and couldn't shake it off, the pains in my chest got worse because i had a chest infection too, so i went to my doctors, got my antibiotics and just carried on (as we women do) a week later i went to hospital for a routine appointment at the jasmin center, my consultant said i was  running a high temperature so he wanted to admit me.... so back into hospital I went.... after 4 days of intravenous antibiotics the consultant admitted defeat and said that the left implant was rejecting AGAIN... and he removed it.

The flu left me with a sore throat, then i lost my voice... i just thought i had laryngitus so i kept warm and took throat lozengers, after 3 weeks and still no voice, i went back to the doctor, another week of antibiotics and she eventually refered me to the hospital.... the doctor there, sprayed lidocane up my nose and shoved a camera up my nose and down the back of my throat (bloody nasty) it turns out i have a fluid filled cyst on my voice box and acid burns on my vocal chords (caused by throwing up) so i have been back a couple of times as he keeps and eye on it, apparently, if it calcifies, then I will need a biopsy....I am back again next friday.

I had another implant put in my left breast, a different type, this one has a metal stud in the front and a steel plate on the back, they locate the metal stud with a magnet, marks a small cross in my skin, the consultant then injects the saline directly through to the implant, the steel plate stops the needle from going through to my lungs... but this one cuts out the problem of having a seperate filler port..... the consultant filled the new implant up very slowly over four months.... and this one didn't reject.. WOO HOO.... I am going back on the 11th of february to get a date to remove the expandable implant and put a regular implant in... i will keep you updated.

I am also waiting on the results of an ultrasound on my ovaries womb cervix, bladder and kidneys (ultrasound was yesterday)

So that is pretty much all the bad news at the moment.

On to a lighter note..... I finally got my holiday... One week in Portugal, all inclusive, it was great.... i managed to get bronchitus while i was over there, but that didn't stop me, i was still out everynight with the girls, and wore strapless dresses agin for the first time in 3 years, I had a whale of a time...... BUT i did have to carry a letter from my consultant explaining that i would probably set the alarms off in the security area of the airport due to the steel in my breast implant.... lol.

I am so sorry to hear that some of you have been going through such a hard time.. but i have done with feeling sorry for myself and i will be here from now on as much as i can.

Linda, I was just lucky because i had to have an MRI scan to determine how big the lobular cancer in my right breast was.... and it was the MRI that discovered "something" in my left breast, a quick ultrasound and a biopsy said it was invasive ductal carcenoma in my left breast, .... but if it wasn't for the MRI, it would have  taken another 6 months to a year before the second cancer would have been found.

It's  not good, I understand that, but you will get throught it because you are not ready to leave your family yet... it's scarey cos you know what is coming..... but cancer treatment is a bit like pregnancy, no two are the same... things your body struggled to deal with first time round, might be slightly easier this time..... don't write yourself off yet, you might just surprise yourself this time.

We are here for you

Love to all

Caroline Xxx

Hello Ladies

Hope you are all well sorry I haven't been in touch but have been in hospital again and had a bad few days. I had to go in to have a port put into my chest as unable to have injections in both my arms now, well I have a date for the start of my chemo which is Wednesday 5th Feb and I will be having 6 lots every 3 weeks of the following mix cyclophoiphamide and taxpayers instead of once a week for 18 weeks, my oncologist came to the conclusion that the original treatment he intended was not enough as it now transpires it is a triple negative cancer then after I will have 3 weeks 3 days of Radiotherapy. I am due to go for a bone scan next week also, I have been busy haven't Iol. I am having to go for a genetic test also as my oncologist is concerned that it could be hereditary fingers crossed it isn't as I would not wish this on anyone will let you know how that goes.

I have been getting myself prepared for my treatment been and had my hair cut short, looked on the web for some turban hats etc the only web page I can find is in America, do you know of any in this country? I am also going out this weekend with some friends to cheer myself up what we are doing I am unsure of as they want to surprise me, I am so lucky to have a good group of friends around me and my family have. been fantastic.

Well ladies I will speak to you soon as will be on the steroids from Tuesday what joy not. Can you give me your Facebook details so I can find you on there also. Well take care

Love to you all

Linda

Hi Linda.

Sorry to hear you've been poorly. As if things aren't bad enough. I'm pleased you have your date through for treatment though I know you are dreading it, it's needed. Can't you get head wear from your local hospice? That's where I got mine from. I hope you have a lovely time at the weekend. So glad you have good friends n your families support. Look me up, Leonie Watering. I'm always on fb!

Lots of love to you. Leonie xxx

Hi Linda

You sound ready for the fight! You go girl

Re head gear I got a load of different scarfs mainly from charity shops! I also have very kind friends who got me a couple of lovely ones from beau beau they were lovely ! If I still had them I would lend them to you but I have already lent them out ! I found this address not sure any good but I had quick look and it looks ok.

A few of us are on face book can add me nina diplock. While away some hours!

Good luck we everything we r all just a click away xx

Lots love and cyber hugs xx

Nina

Hi ladies

Here is a link on scarves, bandanas, wigs, all sorts of headwear, Linda.

Wishing you all a relaxing weekend,

Jane

Hi everyone.  Linda - I also start chemo on 5th Feb, same deal...6 cycles in all, 3 weeks apart.  I also have an MRI due this Sat regarding the skeletal structure because of bone mets, only 3 days after chemo so hope I won't be too rough for that.  Mine is also triple neg invasive ductal primary although originally the biopses of the neck mets threw up a weak ER+ so I was on course to have hormone-related treatment after chemo, but I suspect now that will change. I will be having a port implanted before the next chemo session which should help to reduce problems with veins etc.

Anyway, hopefully this will give the C a good kicking - that is the bit that is uncertain, but as I have my sights set on Race for Life in the summer (with my sister who has also had BC) the message cannot be clearer.  Good luck to you on Weds.