Hi. It looks like this discussion thread has been going a long time and i hope i will be able to join the community here. I was diagnosed with breast cancer just after xmas and have had a mastectomy last week. I have a secondary tumor in my hip and possibly in my head so will have to face chemo and radiotherapy although I dont know the details as yet. I would love to make friends on here who i can both support and find support from on this journey. I have 2 grown up children and they have surprised me recently as to how supportive they can be. It certainly is a case of role reversal in my house. Chassis x x

Hi Chassis

Welcome to the place no-one wants to be.Hope you are coping with the mastectomy and glad to see you have support at home.I had mastectomy 4 years ago and have recurrance in the lymph glands in my neck and chest .I have been on chemo for 2 years to contain it and like you have 2 grown up children and 3 grandchildren ,so plenty of reasons to fight on.Hope you have a good medical team looking after you.What part of the world do you live in?We are a well scattered lot on here.

Stay strong.

Rose xxx

Hi Tony.

Firstly naming your bike is perfectly natural! I have guitar called Bernard After Alvin, My drum kit is "The Office" Named well before the TV Show, and my percussion rig is The Office Junior!! I still haven't got round to the final part of my bike test. Work has been slow so it's on the back burner. What is hotting up is my Breast Cancer Campaign "Project 350" Having been awarded a place on the Vodafone World of Difference scheme means that March and April I can just steam on with it. Raising awareness about breast cancer in men and women, raising funds and at least calling to the fore partners of breast cancer fighters. Lots to do. Big press stuff this week. It is being rolled out in Kent first so anyone reading this from Kent wishing to join in please just let me know and I will forward them details.

Love and best wishes to you all.

Phil. x

hi all

just wondering where everyone is?? n how you are? keep checking daily n nobody been on. do hope all is well n i mean all of you. please get in touch. know i need to write more too. got pain management app in 2weeks. cant wait to manage it n not put up with it. joined facebook n am addicted! had a 4 hour chat with patrica on sat nt! was great. keeping in touch with lou through it. great catching up with old old friends too.

rose hope you are still improving? think of you often.

lots of love leonie xxxx

hi before i forget...

that shampoo i talked about is called matrix biolage forte theraphie cera repair pro n can buy from amazon. the lady that posted about it said it was brilliant stuff. gonna get some myself. by the way, had my first hair cut on saturday! will post pic cos the one here is bloody awful! so photogenic...

xxxxx

n rose good luck for scan this week. please let me know. xxx

Hi leonie, I've not been on for a few days, we were away in fuerteventura, just back tonight, was lovely to get away and to go walks in the sunshine. I just wanted to ask if any of you girlies who have went into menopause because of chemo or just because it's time lol have tried the lady care menopause magnet? It costs £20 from boots and basically you put it down front of your pants lol and it helps with the flushes, it seems to be working for me, google it and let me know if anyone tries or has tried it. Lots of love col x

Hi Col,

hahahahaha!  I haven't tried the magnets but my sister-in-law has and although she said that they seemed to help her with the hot flushes especially at night but you need to be careful.  She told me tales of being at work and they had some filing cabinets that were used as a sort of partition between two areas, she was talking to someone on the other side and 'clunk' stuck to it.  Also metal shopping baskets and reaching into the boot of the car can also cause a problem.  She had me in stitches when she was telling me about it.

Patricia x

Hi Lonie

I have just joined this site today and your post caught my attention regards the shampoo. I finished my Chemo last November and finished radio last Wed. My hair is starting to show now yayyyyyyy and i have dandruff lol (not complaining) what is special about the shampoo you mentioned?

Thanks

Jackie

Hi Patricia, yeah I've read stories about things like that happening to people, luckily not to me well not yet lol, John came in to room other day with it on and said look col I'm a fa**y magnet lol it was so funny, gotta laugh, it does seem to be working, so fingers crossed, I'll catch up with you on face book xxx

Hi Jackie welcome to the forum, you're just behind me, I finished chemo oct and rads beg January, just read Leonies post re shampoo, might be worth trying it, my hair very short but had it cut into a style now and stopped wearing the wig, hope you're doing well. Col x

Looking good pretty lady .Lovely pic.

Scan was a bit of a fiasco !!!All plugged in and ready to go,lay down and about 10 seconds later had to sit up because I cant breathe laying on my back.tried again but no go so i asked if I could lay on my stomach as i can breathe OK then .10 mins later after numerous phone calls they said it would be Ok,They are so helpful and did everything they could,so I had the scan laying on my tum and they found out that the computer flips the images the right way which no-one knew so it was a learning curve all round !!!Dont get results till oncologist appt next week

Glad you are having help with the pain,you have had such a time I hope it does the trick and life gets easier .

Love Rose xxx

Looking good pretty lady .Lovely pic.

Scan was a bit of a fiasco !!!All plugged in and ready to go,lay down and about 10 seconds later had to sit up because I cant breathe laying on my back.tried again but no go so i asked if I could lay on my stomach as i can breathe OK then .10 mins later after numerous phone calls they said it would be Ok,They are so helpful and did everything they could,so I had the scan laying on my tum and they found out that the computer flips the images the right way which no-one knew so it was a learning curve all round !!!Dont get results till oncologist appt next week

Glad you are having help with the pain,you have had such a time I hope it does the trick and life gets easier .

Love Rose xxx

hi not feeling great today. well thats not true cos i havent felt great for a long time but you learn to cope dont you. im less happy basically cos my husband got in a bit of a mood n am bothered about how much it affects me.

i know he is the one i spend nearly all my time with, n that he has been through so much but when he gets moody it has such an affect on me. n he doesnt even have to do anything bad. but i go from coping  to annoyed to thinking about how flipping bad i really do feel. i have pain every single day n struggle sometimes to rise above it, but i do most of the time. some days are worse than others. i get up n joke about a bit do things when i can. i try to be n actlike a mother to my 3 kids. i try to be a wife n act like one. i try to be an owner of a dog n act like one. but every single day i hurt n still try to act like im ok. friends family ask how i am n im ok. but when my husband gets in a mardy mood i slowly lose that ability to rise above it all.

when i was going through chemo, i had no energy for anything. to walk into the next room would kill me. for my little one to just cuddle me was painful. if he leant on my legs or anything id be in so much pain. boys would try n talk to me n i would get annoyed cos of noise n confusion. id try to talk but would muddle my words n they would take mick a bit, n i would get annoyed cos of how much energy it took. or the pain i was in. to clean my teeth was a twice daily torture n to eat...

since then things have improved in every way. but i still have a lot of pain n a year after surgery its hard to cope with. my treatment has finished but i have so much to still put up with. my cancer should be gone but things still hurt. im having to take medication to combat chemo problems which stop me from driving being 'with it' n being able to cope with it all. i cant take more of the med i need cos of how it makes me feel. i cant wait for pain management app!

when i have a drink i can get in a better mood. it can give me energy that i dont normally feel. it can allow me to think about my kids in all their torment of feelings etc. it can give me energy n the mind to think about what i should be doing or feeling. it can make me feel human n normal ish again. but if my husband does my head in, i cant bounce back. i should be on the mend now n however much i try, i dont feel like ive just beaten cancer.

im sorry, some might not be used to me talking like this n i dont want you worrying. sometimes life is just hard..!! bloody hard n its not my husbands fault if hes mardy. but at the same time, its not mine either! any advise on how to deal with it is much appreciated.

love leonie xxxx

dear leonie

you have been thru so much ,everyone has a different set of circumstances , it is hard on everyone xxxxxxx

will email u xxx lots love and hugs xxxx xxxxxx

What are you like? you show us how down you are and then go straight to helping someone else .I dont know how you have stayed sane during your treatment,you have suffered more than anyone and had the children to look after as well.I know your husband has been a rock to you all but he is right in the firing line.I really hope the pain management will do the trick.When my husband is in a mood,which isnt often love him,i send him out and tell him to go to see one of his mates or something because if he stays in it will wind me up and a bit of space lets you calm down.This time of year doesnt help either,it is so cold and cloudy,we need some sunshine to boost us.

Have a good old ramble when you feel like lovely girl,thats what we are here for.

Love Rose xxx

Hi Rose and everyone on this particular thread,have decided to join in as it seems to be THE page to be on !!! lol Have left a message for Donna on her thread, my laptop is playing up and husband is makeing funny noises about emptying it or something?????anyhow I have aposer for you all. A friend who is haveing similiar treatment to me BC but a more invasive type has a macmillon nurse comeing to her house and she says she is wonderfull (' natch)   she says I too should ask them to come to me but I honestly don't think I need help at the moment.I would feel guilty takeing up their time when someone else who is worse could benefit,but she keeps suggesting insisting I should ! anyone got any suggestions before husband starts fiddling with my lifeline laptop .....love Netty  xxx

Leonie babe, you're the most upbeat person on this forum, you have young kids to look after, a husband and most importantly yourself. I only have me to think about when I open my eyes in the morning as my girls are grown up and I dont need to get them up for school etc, my John has been amazing through all this as you know, just like your Jon, but they are only human and sometimes it gets too much for them too, but I dont know if you feel this way but sometimes when john is struggling with it, i get emotional cause I think he wants out, like some other partners have done on here and I keep waiting for this amazing man to walk out on me, but he wont and i need to realise that, so if thats what youre worried about DONT! You are such an inspiration to me and the rest of the people on here, look youre already helping 2 new women, please just take time to breathe and relax, book yourself in for a massage and Jon too, im sure he could be doing with one, if I lived nearer Id pop in and mind the kids lol. Your a gorgeous lady, keep your chin up. Lots of love Col xx

PS hello to the new girls xx

hi ladies

thanks for your support n kind messages about me. i wish he would go out sometimes but he wont, he just tries to be nice n im already upset! gets annoying! ha. its not that im afraid he will leave cos i know he wont. its because hes give up smoking n so have i. ive never mentioned it before cos i was embarassed about still smoking n having cancer. but i couldnt of dealt with the stress of giving up while everything else was going on. ive been ok with it, want one sometimes but ive not been moody. jon however has been n had to be told off a few times in the last 6 weeks! we dont argue normally but have had 3 lately. hes been loads better since but when he gets mardy i want to smoke then..! hes not a moody person n think thats why it upsets me so much. sometimes its like he forgets how much i hurt n im just being lazy. i know sometimes hes fed up of doing everything.

sent him back to work in oct but theres so much i cant do cos of my arms etc n medication, that he had to give his managers job up cos he couldnt put in the hours. now hes part time on the tills n charly goes play school on the days he works. he had already had 10 months on the sick to look after me n charly. it just annoys me how upset i get cos hes mardy. it makes me think about how i do feel really n not 'im fine' thing. its not fair for him but i find it hard to deal with.

much love leonie xxxx

well done on giving up smoking, I gave up about 5 years ago but when I was diagnoed the first thing I wanted was a ciggie, I didnt take one, but how it wouldve calmed me down. You guys will be grand, just keep  your chin up babe. I feel good these days but still have this pain in my neck and ive got it in my head its something more sinister, but think thats natural, just waiting on oncologist appt, takes up to 8 weeks after radio finishes, sometimes i think scotland is way behind as no one else seems to wait this long or do they? x

hi netty

nice to meet you. have you spoken to the nurses? maybe you should just have a chat with them n see what they think. dont forget that they are there to support n if you need emotional support or any other, thats their job.

love leonie xx

Hey Leonie,

firstly, we get so upset with our other halves because we are so close to them, and in a way we share each others pain. we blow up a bit here too and i am learning to accept this is yet another side effect. Please remember that normal arguments would ensue without a thought - but now they are all connected to the feelings and side effects that occur as a result of diagnosis and treatment. we go through so many emotions. Im glad you came here to rant, it's what we are here for - and yes i noticed too that in the net breath you were helping others.

Give yourself a bit of a break and a pat on the back too, because caring and feeling is what makes us human, and there are too many people in this world who don't have those human qualities. yes it hurts, but it must be more painful to not have love and compassion.  sending you a huge hug.

well, that's the chemo done, and now i have the radio to look forward to. I am so scared - I know i should give up smoking and i shall relaly try, and will keep you updated. |it is so hard when you have so much stress. I am worried as well about the shrinkage of the tissue and having lop sided boobs, and then remind myself of how so many of you have already coped with far more to worry about. I am concerned about tattoos as they are the on thing i would never ever ever have, and then not being able to go topless on holiday this year. i wanted so much just to have the wedding and then a 'normal' holiday. Oh this thing is such tosh.

The hair is still very slowly creeping through, the tooth is still missing and the feel better course is still fully booked and it looks like June before i can have a makeover. Such is life!

most of the time i am doing well and pretty positive, but it makes such a difference being able to moan here about things that given the circumstances would be seen as trivial to anyone else. Just being able to say i am p****ed off or feel ugly lightens the load.

love sara xx

My dear Lonie, I do know how you feel, even though Im feeling much better these days I remember only too well the pain and the sickness always trying to put a smile on my face, crack a joke and remain positive for everyone else, and then when it just got that little bit too much for me  and I couldnt manage that smile or that little joke my husband would ask me what was wrong!!! I would bark at him IVE GOT CANCER THATS WHATS WRONG and he would snap at me saying it wasnt his fault and why was I being moody with him....AAAARRRRGGGHHH I just wanted to say ..because I need to be moody with someone at some point or I will go crazy but because he was cross with me I would just curl up into a ball and sob like there was no tomorrow,,, most unlike me!

Until this moment I had never and I mean NEVER let a man reduce me to such a pitiful and emotional wreck, yet It wasnt really him doing it to me, it was my condition and it only hurt so much because I love him so much as indeed you love your husband, he is your rock and sometimes rocks become slippery and we fall and hurt ourselves but we get back up and when we look around the rock is still there and always will be.

You will get past this and one day you will not be able to remember how bad you felt even though you may try.

You will be strong again and laugh again and your good days will be many.

I send you my love and a great big strength hug.

Lee xxxxxxxx

A huge welcome to the new girls! Im sorry your here but you wont meet a greater bunch of women.