Hi,

I am sorry to butt into your discussion but just wanted to wish you all well.

You all seem like tough cookies and am touched, truly.

I am currently waiting, I have my breast clinic appointment on 27th oct and really nervous, not eating or sleeping much to be honest but then I don't eat much anyway lol.

Really don't know what to expect with this appointment just that I will probably be having an ultrasound as I'm only 24.

The reason I went to the GP was because I have bloody nipple discharge and a rather deep dimple. I can't help but think the worst but do understand there are benign causes for this out there. Just glad my GP took me seriously.

Do you mind if I ask how you ladies felt at this stage? Am I insane or am I being normal?

Best wishes everyone

Kylie xxx

No Kylie,

You are not insane..... first let me say you are very sensible to see your doctors immediately.... you would be surprised how many think they are too young so don't bother.

I know this is a very scarey thing to try and come to terms with... and the waiting is the hardest bit.... If I had to discribe how I felt when I was waiting for appointments and tests then I think the only word I could come up with is....LOST... Very emotional and scared to death.... but I now know that all these feelings are perfectly normal.

If you are worried about what to expect, why not ring up your breast clinic and ask them.... they are normaly really good and have no problem explaining what you should expect.

When my doctor refered me to our local breast clinic, I was examined by a lady doctor, then I had to have a mammogram and an ultrasound scan..... I would suggest you take somebody with you... maybe your partner / Mum / friend just for a bit of moral support.... but I have to say that the breast care unit and all it's staff were brilliant and really did well to calm all my fears.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to come here and ask, there is always somebody who has been in the situation you are in and able to offer help and advice.... we are all here for each other.

Take care honey... and try not to imagine the worst (easier said than done)

Love Caz xxx

Patricia

What great news... I bet you are so relieved.... I am so pleased for you.

I am back to hospital tomorrow.... I get to make a decision on wether to have the hormone injection..... but it's a no brainer.... if the injections stop my ovaries producing oestragen , which in turn means there is less chance of oestrogen feeding any left over cancer cells.... then you know I am going to have the injection.

They will also be draining the infection..... I am still on the antibiotics, and feeling pretty poorly, but to be honest I put that down to the infection..... I will be pleased when I am feeling better.

I have got a family wedding on Thursday.... I am a bit nervous about going, as it's the first time I will be meeting lots of people that I haven't seen in years and I am a bit wary about being out in public................

In fact I have a real problem about going out, I go to the hospital and to the local shop... but going out where people can see me.... I am very self concious, Dave says that nobody is staring, but I know that I no longer have any breasts..... My cleavage was always a very big part of who I am..... it is almost like... when they removed my breasts they removed my self confidence too..... and I don't know how to pick myself back up.... Dave is being brilliant, he is always telling me how gorgeous I am.... but I seem to be stuck in this slump.

Love Caz xxx

Hi Caz,

Hope your hospital visit tomorrow goes well and the infection clears soon.Manuka honey is supposed to be ggod.I put it on the wound as well.

I know how you feel about going out,although mine was only one side,you feel everyone is looking at you but when we went to my sons wedding last year 2 women came to talk to me and i didnt know that they had breast cancer so chances are you wont be the only one there with this although it will feel like to you.I have had to change a lot of my tops as i am slightly different shapes either side which no-one else notices but I know.I dont look at other womens boobs so i dont expect they look at mine,but i have a lot more flowery ,patterened tops and not the plain jumpers that i used to wear.There are so many big necklaces that distract the eye and waistcoats are good.After a few wines you will feel great.As you know too well the wondering is always worse than the event.Bet you will look a million dollars!!!This is a big first for you so dont panic.

Good luck sweetheart,you can do it

Rose xxxx

Hi girls,

i have just been shopping and saw a Post op. bra in George at Asda with a pocket on each side for £6 !!:shocked: Bargain!

Love to all you lovely people,

Rose xxx

Hi Rose,

I tried the honey and my wounds healed up really well, the infection is inside.... it's almost like my boob has grown back as it's all swollen on the left side, the infection is on the inside (god only knows how that happened)

I bought one of those post op bra's from asda, I have tried it on and it's really comfortable.... Unfortunately because of the infection, I can't wear it yet, but I am hoping they will drain the infection so I can wear it on Thursday.... it's not the most glamorous bra I have ever seen, but it doesn't hurt my scars... so it's perfect

I know I have to take things one day at a time.......... but I just don't have the confidence any more that I used to have..... Thursday is going to be a major stepping stone for me.... But Dave will be by my side, my kids will be with me and even my Mum and Dad will be there... so I will fine, I'm sure.

Thank you for the support

Love Caz xxxx

Great News Patricia

Im so pleased, its time you and your family had a break and got back to just enjoying each other and enjoying life.

Lots of love Lee xx

Hi Caz

you know you really have come so far and done so well and Im really please you have such a wonderful husband by your side,think of this outing as your next step to recovery, take control again, you've battled this dreadful disease and your not about to let it take over your life, you fought this to live ...so get living and dont worry about anyone staring or saying anything because so far all I have seen from people is a lot of love and compassion, this touches so many peoples lives you just dont realise it.

Your a wonderful person Caz and you are a survivor! dont ever forget that.

P.S

Had last chemo today!!!!! so Im off to bed now for some much needed r & r hopefully I shall catch up with you all in a couple of days.

Much love to everyone

Lee xx

Congratulations Lee,

Last chemo, What a milestone! I am really pleased for you...... get your head down and get some rest honey.

And thank you for the advice.... You're right..... I had a double mastectomy so I could live.... So it's about time I started living.

Take care honey.

Love Caz xxx

Hi lee bet your glad your chemo is now finished, I know I am mine is finished, hair growing back but eyes still streaming as no lashes at bottom, cream hasn't worked so far. Chat soon col x

Caz you go girl and have a fab day. Col x

Hi Colly,

I dont know if this will help you but when my eyes were like yours I had a gel called ViscoTears(or viscous tears gel)Which really helped.I smooth vaseline on my eyes at night as they stick together otherwise .Hope you get some relief soon,these seemingly small things really annoy after a while!

Rose xxx

Hi Colly,

I dont know if this will help you but when my eyes were like yours I had a gel called ViscoTears(or viscous tears gel)Which really helped.I smooth vaseline on my eyes at night as they stick together otherwise .Hope you get some relief soon,these seemingly small things really annoy after a while!

Rose xxx

Hi all, i was feeling fed up with a streaming cold, day out in leicester tomorrow - typical time to feel under the weather, and of course i want to be well to start chemo next week, I thought I'd come say hi, and suddenly theres a last chemo - well done Lee, lots of love and best wishes. colly as always with such sound advice and caz who never fails to express herself without being depressing.

Anyway i thought you'd all like a giggle. i was telling my grandaughter off today and as i bent down to tell her not to do something, my blooming tooth sprang out of my mouth like a cartoon character,. The funniest thing was, the whole room went silent because everyone was afraid to laugh wihich just set me off. i keep having fits of giggles when I think about it. And as the new plate keeps giving me gip, i boought some difflam stuff today. when i took the tooth out to rinse, i discovered what the problem was, the part that sits on my gum is textured and damn sharp, so it was even more funny to watch me with a nail file sanding it smooth and trying it back on inbetween fits of giggles.....i have decided to use fixadent tomorrow... just in case......

lots of love all,

sara xx

DIY tooth repairs.if you had been filming that you would have won £250 on you,ve been framed!!

Hope you are coping with everything,you always sound really happy.Plenty of vitamins to build you up for next week.

Rose xxx

Good afternoon ladies,

I hope you're all ok?

I really sorry to bother you but I wondered if you had any advice for me?

I had an ultrasound today by a nurse, she was really rude to me and made me feel like rubbish, she felt my dimple and told me I was tensing so I had to show her that I wasn't, she then admitted it was a deep dimple, the. Squeezed some blood out. She did t tell me anything about the ultrasound but has sent me for a genetics referral and another appointment in December? She said I may have a biopsy but may not.

Really dont know how to feel as I thought if it was nothing she would of told me or if it was something. Stuck in limbo presuming nothings wrong as she was rude and laid back.

The DNA tests are because Ive lost a lot of close family to cancer and already had it myself.

They didn't ask me about my drugs which my Gastro consultant phones me up an told me to stop taking because of the risk of cancer.

I'm so sorry for ranting.

Take care

Xxx

Hi Kylieann,

firstly, NO ONE should treat you like that. A quiet word in the consultants ear usually does the trick, or write a note just explaining that you were scared and worried and your treatment that day didn't help. It could just be the nurse had her own awful worries, but if not, then a short note or quiet word should be enough to stop it happening to someone else.

I am sorry you have already had dealings with this disease, and we here all know that recurrance is something we dread, but as so many of the ladies here have said, the doctors would prefer you to go to them 10 times unnecessariy than miss something, and you cannot help your fears no matter how rational you try to be.

There is no point in telling you not to worry - because the truth is you will. But worrying will not change the result, it will just take up your precious energy and set your mind spiralling into the thoughts and feelings you had when you were diagnosed orginally. I am not a medical person, but i do know that aside from your greatest fear, there are so many other things such as infected cysts, blocked ducts and so forth that cause strange symptoms. Try to take strength from the reassurance that aside from the one snotty nurse you had on this visit, the rest of the team are truely dedicated and will guide you through whatever caused this and treatments with your full co-operation.

Try also to remember that although it is difficult, when you are worried try and do something posiitve, time spent worrying is time not spent doing what you enjoy with those you love and have fun with. it also causes wrinkles!

I do wish you well as everyone here will, and if you look back over some of the posts there will be a wealth of love and support in the messages that I hope will help you as much as they helped me. Please do come back and tell us how you got on. When do you get your results? if you write to the department about your treatment you could ask for the results, they will then call you in. The drugs you are taking could maybe affect other tissues in respect of swellings infections and so on, but this I cannot answer, you will need to speak to your GP if you need reassurance.

My email - simplysara1 then the at sign followed by hotmail dot com, if you would like to talk, or try your local MacMillian - if you have had cancer (and it doesn't mean to say this time it is) they will understand your fears. It really does help to talk, and they have far more expereince and knowledge than I can give you.

best wishes

sara xxx

Kylie,

You seem to be in a pretty bad place at the moment....... and I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad time at your ultrasound.

My advice is that you ring up your breast care unit and tell them what happened, tell them that you are stuck in limbo and ask to see a breast care nurse....... you are entitled to speak to one..... and hopefully she will be able to put your mind at rest and maybe even get you in to see someone.

The waiting is a nightmare..... if you had been told something definite, it would be easier to cope with.... the not knowing is the worst.

Don't apologise for bothering us, it's no bether to help someone who is in a similar position... fear is something that you don't have to deal with alone.

Love Caz xxx

I forgot to tell you how I got on at the hospital

Nasty infection is kicking my a*s at the moment........ the right side has healed up lovely... no more fluid... but the left side was full and needed draining, because I have been so poorly this last week, I expected the fluid to come out like it did last week (like cold tea) but when my surgeon pulled the needle out, nothing came out of the canula, but as she tipped it down, a thick gloopy drop hit the dish, and then she started to panic, she attatched a srynge and started to pull out a load of thick goop... it was like mud... she said my chest wall should be bright red by the state of the infection.

So I am now on some heavy duty antibiotics and I have to go back on Friday... if the infection continues she is going to put a mini drain in.

And to top it all... the dress I ordered to wear to this wedding, didn't turn up

But my gorgeous husband saved the day.... this afternoon he took me to a local boutique and bout me a total new outfit...... When we walked into the shop, the lady asked if she could help me, I explained what I needed, that I was going to a wedding but was struggling with my stupid fake boobs, to which she answered, "Mine is ok, I just pop it into my bra and nobody knows the difference" she picked out a gorgeous outfit and I cant wait to wear it tomorrow.

Dave is going to take pictures of me wearing it and I will put it up on here for you to see

I will pop back on friday and tall you how it all went.

take care

Love Caz xx

Hi Caz,

Well done on the outfit,your husband sounds a gem,i bet you will look knockout. It was fate that your dress didnt come so that you would meet the assistant Have an absolutely brilliant day and hopefully that infection will go soon.

Have a ball,Cinderella

Rose xxx

Hi Ladieeees,

Not heard anything from you in 4 days so starting to worry - how are you all doing?

Much Love

T xxxx

Hi Tony, no news is good news lol. I personally am fine, finished chemo nearly 4 weeks ago and starting radiotherapy on 25/11m so even tho it will run over xmas thankfully xmas is a sat so i'll not need to go that day lol. Got a few aches and pains but think thats cause i need a new mattress which has actually arrived today thank goodness, hope you are well. Col x

Hi guys

First let me say well done Colly... you seem so positive about everything.

Well, I went to the wedding.... what a nightmare,... The wedding itself was a farce, the bride was inside with all the guests and the groom was outside with his ex wife.... I stuggled so much more than I thought I would... cleavages everywhere.... i couldn't stop from crying........ The infection is still kicking my behind.... but I am back at the hospital tomorrow at 4 so hopefully something will get sorted

I seem to be really down at the moment, I really can't get used to my altered body image.... when I try to talk about it, I just cry... and I can't seem to get any better.

I just don't know which way to turn at the moment .... I guess I never realised how much my cleavage was part of who I am.... and now I feel like I am not that person anymore........ I hate being such a misery guts..... but I see no way out until the reconstruction next year.

Am I going to be this unhappy until my reconstruction.... or will it get better?

Love Caz xx