Hi,

I am sorry to butt into your discussion but just wanted to wish you all well.

You all seem like tough cookies and am touched, truly.

I am currently waiting, I have my breast clinic appointment on 27th oct and really nervous, not eating or sleeping much to be honest but then I don't eat much anyway lol.

Really don't know what to expect with this appointment just that I will probably be having an ultrasound as I'm only 24.

The reason I went to the GP was because I have bloody nipple discharge and a rather deep dimple. I can't help but think the worst but do understand there are benign causes for this out there. Just glad my GP took me seriously.

Do you mind if I ask how you ladies felt at this stage? Am I insane or am I being normal?

Best wishes everyone

Kylie xxx

No Kylie,

You are not insane..... first let me say you are very sensible to see your doctors immediately.... you would be surprised how many think they are too young so don't bother.

I know this is a very scarey thing to try and come to terms with... and the waiting is the hardest bit.... If I had to discribe how I felt when I was waiting for appointments and tests then I think the only word I could come up with is....LOST... Very emotional and scared to death.... but I now know that all these feelings are perfectly normal.

If you are worried about what to expect, why not ring up your breast clinic and ask them.... they are normaly really good and have no problem explaining what you should expect.

When my doctor refered me to our local breast clinic, I was examined by a lady doctor, then I had to have a mammogram and an ultrasound scan..... I would suggest you take somebody with you... maybe your partner / Mum / friend just for a bit of moral support.... but I have to say that the breast care unit and all it's staff were brilliant and really did well to calm all my fears.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to come here and ask, there is always somebody who has been in the situation you are in and able to offer help and advice.... we are all here for each other.

Take care honey... and try not to imagine the worst (easier said than done)

Love Caz xxx

Hi caz,

Thank you for your reply.

I hope you're doing well? I am worried that I'm wasting the doctors and clinic time if I get there and theysay it's nothing I mean I don't know if people get referred urgently but I just don't want to waste peoples time.

I did t know you can call them so I'll definitely do that.

I'm lucky too that my partner and mum and both keeping me sane.

Best of wishes love

Kylie xxx

Kylie,

My breast care doctors told me they would rather I went in for 10 cases of "nothing", instead of missing 1 "something" so you won't be bothering anybody.

You are not wasting anybodys time.... you have a problem in your breast.... therefore you go to the breast care clinic to get it sorted.

I am glad your mum and your partner are keeping you sane... that really does help a lot.

And like I said, we are all here if you need us too

I hope you get some answers when you ring the breast care clinic...... it does help to know what to expect

Please stay in touch and let us know how you get on

Love Caz xxx

dear kylie

so sorry u have to go thru all this but as the girls have all said come here as often as u need there is always some one to chat to

the waiting is the worst !!keep busy and think of some questions a nd write them down. goood advice to take someone with u if u can chose some one organised my bossy mate really helped me and my partner ask the right questions .

what ever the results the breast clinic staff are very used to any reaction and question so be completely reasurred u can ask anything !!

take care darlin

love and hugs nina xxxxx

Hi Rose, Caz and Nina,

Thank you so much for all your words and advice.

I really appreciate your time especially when you're all so amazing in your fights against this thing.

I hope you're all doing ok and thinking of you.

Take care

Love kylie xxx

Hi my lovely ladies, Tony and a big hug for Kylie, i am gearing myself up for chemo - and think i am ready - as ready as one can be, and will be wig hunting on the 3rd, two days before the dreaded infusion. Reading Kylies mail reminded me of all the awful feelings I felt in the first few weeks, and then out of the blue I found myself being so angry and snappy. There was no logical reason other than my own stupid vanity wondering how i would look and feel and how it would affect my life. I couldn't even face coming here to talk. However, I rang MacMillian (the number was in the little booklet i was given at the hospital) and spoke to a lovely lady. My family - my partner in particular had said they felt i was being negative because everything revolved around the treatments. i felt i couldnt make plans because i didnt know what i would feel like.

the lady at the end of the phone agreed with me that i was being quite positive in the way i had planned for hair loss, possibly taking up yoga, using my bike and changing my diet. Just talking to her made a huge difference in the anger. I learnt from her that we have little control over thoughts and feelings when we bottle them up. i should have come here as i usually would. I try to be positive and like to think i can help others as so many of you have helped me absolutely no end. It is very true that fear of the unknown is often worse than the reality. I remind myself of that everyday now and i am coping better.

kylie, try ringing the \Macmillian team because its not about cancer, its about fear and uncertainty, and they can guide you. There is no more i can add really as these wonderful people here have said it all. I have never left this site without feeling moved, uplifted and mentally stronger. we each have our own concerns and fears, but we share them and it helps. Im sorry you had to come here, but believe me, the friendships here truly change your life.

i hope all you lovely ladies are well, love to you all

sara

Hi Kylieanne,

Sorry to hear that you are waiting to be seen at the breast clinic. It really is the waiting periods that are the worst whatever it be for; that first GP's appointment, the first visit to the breast clinic, the wait for the results, the first treatment if needed, following appointments to see the consultants. The whole procedure is a time of anticipation, waiting for appointments where you have no idea what is going to happen and no matter how many times people say to you 'try not to worry' it doesn't really help that much. Some people do cope better than others, I have tried the philosophy of 'will it change things if I worry?' Sometimes it works for me other times not. I am struggling a bit at the moment myself.

Tomorrow I will be going with my son to the breast clinic, not for me but for him, he is 24 years old! He found a lump in his breast and went to see the GP a couple of weeks ago and was referred to the hospital. This will be his first appointment at the clinic. I cannot believe that this is happening to him or me!! I have been to hell and back over the last 12 months and was hoping for some sort of normality soon with thoughts of returning to work. I have tried my best to tell him not to worry but tomorrow/today is now here and it's hard. How will I feel when I walk into that clinic tomorrow and sit in that waiting room? I have absolutely no idea. Again I'm in the realms of the unknown.

Patricia x

Oh Patricia,I am so sorry that you have this to worry about.My husband had to go to the clinic last month and they found a cyst which is caused by his medication ,I hope your son has good news as well.Its one thing after another isnt it ?

Good luck tomorrow,let us know how he gets on

Rose xxx

Dear Patricia

my heart truly goes out to you, I shall pray for good news for you and your son, Its one thing when we have to go through this but not our family and certainly not our children. I shall remain positive for you and if you ever need to talk I will only be a click away.

Sincerely yours

Lee xx

Hi Patricia, my thoughts are with you, and I'm praying for good news. Col x

Hi Patricia, my thoughts are with you, and I'm praying for good news. Col x

Hi Colly

how are you feeling these days I have my final chemo on Tues of next week and feel so nervous, my vein in my right hand is still swollen and bruised from the last injection so I really dont want them to use the same one again, it took me nearly 2 weeks to get over my last chemo so Im dreading this one, I just want to feel human again, you must keep me up to date with your hair growth progress.

Love always Lee xx

Hi lee I was the same, my hand and up my wrist was black and blue. My hair is gradually growing back in brown which is weird to me as i'Ve been blonde for years. I don't feel comfortable wearing my wig, which is stopping me from going out, we're invited to a 40th tonight and I just don't want to go as I don't want to weAr the wig, my eyebrows are minimal as are my top eye lashes, none on the bottom lol and my eyes are constantly streaming, but apart from that I'm fine and dandy. Ps my daughter has brought me up false lashes but how do I make bottom of my eyes look less bare, any tips? X

Hi Colly

The only thing I can suggest is waterproof eyeliner on your bottom lash area, but it is so difficult I often look at myself in the mirror and laughingly say to myself ...you cant make a pigs ear into a silk purse but there is no harm in trying, my head itches sometimes when I put on my wig as I too have little tufts of hair growing through so I slap a load of E45 onto my head then the hair net, then the wig and it doesnt itch anymore, I cant live without my wig I just feel so ugly without it.

Im so glad to hear you are feeling better, your definitely my inspiration .

lee xxxx

I just wear my little skip cap from monsoon, it's been my life line lol, do you not feel as though your wig is going to fall off? I had it on one night and a friend came up and put her arms round my neck to give me a hug and my wig moved lol. I'm prob just not used to it, I don't wear a net under it, oh I just want my hair to grow back, it's what's holding me back. How long do you think it will take to grow to a decent length? X

Patricia.

What a horrible thing to happen.... just when you thought you were going to get a break.

We all talk about the not knowing being the hardest thing to cope with....... but I think maybe in this case, the knowing is worse..... it must be a nightmare for you both.... after you going through it all... and seeing the way you struggled with everything.....

And I don't care how old our children are.... they are still our babies.

I am praying so hard that it is nothing major

Please let us know how you get on

Love Caz xxx

Mine moves too, but then all my family and friends know its a wig so I dont really care, as for the million dollar question ...how long before it grows back...well I reckon around 4 months before its a nice short hairstyle that you can wear out, judging by other people I know, ive heard sea kelp helps but not sure how long after chemo before you can start taking supplements.

Listen hun weve come this far whatever happens now will only be an improvement and just remember you will have those lovely long dark eyelashes back before I do lol so hang on in there cos I think your a star xxxx

Lee xx

hi girls

patricia thinking of you love hugs prayers xx sending u all positive vibes can think ofxxx

colly and lee know what u say about looks and wigs i have really nice wig but my head gets really itchy think i try that cap like u said dont know if i missed it colly but how did endoscopy go hope all ok .

caz hope u all ok

love to all xxxxnina xxx

Thanks lee you always say the right things, mwah. Nina appointment cancelled as oncologist said to try the tablets first and to be honest the pain is away now, so we're thinking it has just been chemo that's caused the lining to thin which in turn causes the terrible heartburn etc x