Hi I'm 45 and just found out that a lump I had on my breast is cancerous, I had lump and lymph nodes removed last tues, so I'm now waiting to hear what treatment I'm going to need, My consultant has said most likely 8 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, so 6 months in total and then radiotherapy mon-fri for a month, so i'm kinda in the unknown zone at the moment. Not looking forward to the hair loss, terribly vain i know, but my hair is very important to me like most women, I colour it blonde which will obviously have to stop. As far as I know my chemo will be given intrevenously, so my hair will most probably fall out. I am going to look into getting a real hair wig as I dont think i've got the guts to go au natural, I've also picked up a couple of bandanas to wear about the house. My partner says it doesnt matter if my hair falls out, as long as i'm here. Luckily I've found the lump very early by self examination whilst on holiday and my consultant is very positive about me getting better. I'm very wary about the next 9 months but feel quite determinded that chemo is a wonder drug and will make me better. My girls are 22 and 20 and are amazing, they have read stories in magazines about Kylie, sally from corrie etc and are determined I will just do what the doc says and get better, my partner who ive only been with for 2 years is the most wonderful guy ever, dunno what I'd do without him, he's been with me every step of the way. I was worried about losing my breast, but fortunately I had a lumpectomy which looks amazing. my consultant says put your life on hold for the next 6-9 months get better and you'll never look back, oh yeah sounds easy, but im trying really hard. I hope I'm still this positive whilst I go through my treatment (def not I hear you say) lol, but I'm a determined ***!

Hope to chat to others in the same situation xx

hi colly

just had my lump and nodes removed thursday (12th Aug) so will know my treatment shortly. I am expected to have radiotherapy and chemo but i thought radiotherapy came first, seems on here it is the other way around - perhaps I wasn't listening. I'm feeling a bit daunted at what comes next but more so for the effect it will have on the family - i worry too about not being the glamourous vital woman i was and will that change my realationship with my partner and so on. Although we are planning to get married. So much to talk about! it would appear you will be going through treatment at around the same time as me, so if you would like to stay in touch and discuss our good and bad days, please do !!! my email is simplysara1@hotmail.com

wishing the best of luck to you

sara

hi Caz

been keeping up to date with your care thinking of you and sending all positivity your way. the journey begins for real !!you really are fab lady xxx

on a practical note i was advised to take arnica and propolis (from holland and barrett) dnot know if it was that but i heaked really quick and the bruising wen tdown quickly just a thought xx

I will keep looking out for how you doing sweetie

I have my first chemo monday 2oth take my big girl up to uni in liverpool day before,

lots of love hugs and stuff

nina xxxxxxxxxxx

hi caz

wishing you lots of luck love n best wishes for tomorrow. like everyone else, i will be thinking of you n hoping you will recover quickly. just remember, tomorrow night you will be cancer free. it will be all gone n i know you'll get through it.

special thoughts for a special lady.

love leonie xxxx

Thank you for all your lovely messages fo support

Jan... good luck with your chemo, and a very happy Birthday for tomorrow honey.

Nina... I hope your chemo goes well and you get your daughter off to university ok.

I will come back on here as soon as I am able

Love to all

Caz xxx

Hi Caroline,

All the luck in the world for tomorrow,the first day of your cancer free future.You must be sooooooooooooo nervous now but we are all here holding your hand.

Cant wait to hear from you in a few days.

Love Rose xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy birthday for tomorrow, Jan - it's also mine - I'll be 42.

Be thinking of you, Caz. Look forward to hearing from you when you're up on your feet again.

Shents x

I went and signed my consent form today, and as she explained the possible side effects both myself and my husband fell about laughing... the surgeon looked at us like we were idiots..... but, I ask you?

"Possible side effects of a bilateral mastectomy.... scarring and loss of breast"

Have I got a warped sense of humour or does anybody else find that funny

I did......

I will come back on here as soon as I am able and let you know how I got on

Love Caz xxx

Happy Birthday Shents. Xxx

Hi Caz

Yep. I think I would have seen the funny side of that, but it just shows that you and your husband can laugh when the chips are down.

Good luck for the op and recovery and we will wait to hear from you as soon as you are able.

You will be fine.

Lots of love

Anne

x

Hi Sara

I am a bit ahead of you and have had 2 lots of chemo, but I can relate to everything you have been saying. My turning point was when I saw the oncologist and he explained the treatment and the positive outcomes of having the treatment. Since then I have felt more positive about things.

You are still recovering from the operation and waiting for results, but I am sure once you start the treatment you will feel better because you are fighting back.

Keep the posts going.

Love

Anne

x

dear sara and ann

hope you dnot mind me joining this thread i think i am having bit of a wobble at moment dnot want to discuss that with my family as nothing has changed and compared to loads of other stories things have and are going very well for me (i feel particularly pathetic when i see all caz has had to go thru even so far .).i think our time scales are fairly similar. I start cfirst chemo next monday 20th . I still feel positive and kick its butt but just feel bit lost . i think its lack stucture i havent gone back to work as advised (iam nurse so they concerned risk of me getting infection ) seems mad to say miss work and banter i have loads i should /could do at home but cant seem to get into it . I am concentrating are getting stuff ready for my eldest to go to uni we take her to liverpool on sat (5 hour drive )i am so proud of her and will miss her masses. i just want her to have fab time and not worry about me . my youngest is in gcse year and seems ok she is such a lovely girl .my husband works away couple days a week and is finding that very hard i worry about him .

i just feel bit tearful and sad today i hate being a wimp. i hope you dnot mind me wittering on . I love this site has helped me so much. just helps to get things off chest (oops sorry for pun!!!!) and get feedback.

ok have just made list of jobs that need doing and seeing some good friends for luch they will give me good talking to and whip me into shape . going to take dog for walk and clear head

sorry to sound all rubbish i am extremely stubborn and will not let this cr** disease

thanks to u all for sharing your lives and helpin other

love and hugs xxxxx nina xxxxxx

hi,

i have read some sad messages on here, but i do feel that you all have such a strong outlook to what you have faced and having to face in the future. I start my chemotherapy on thursday, i am scared of course not knowing what side affects i will have to go through, but it has to be done. my thoughts are with every one of you and hope we can help each other through this! best wishes to you all.

hi,

i have read some sad messages on here, but i do feel that you all have such a strong outlook to what you have faced and having to face in the future. I start my chemotherapy on thursday, i am scared of course not knowing what side affects i will have to go through, but it has to be done. my thoughts are with every one of you and hope we can help each other through this! best wishes to you all.

hi dizzyrascal

we will face our chemo together me monday u thursday thinking of you i too am scared but strenght in numbers xxxx

bring it on.!www.cancerchat.org.uk/.../!!i have just read your other posts i think we were diagnosed about same time mine was 30/7/10 had lumpectomy sentiel node boipsy 10th august chemo starts monday 2oth sept

love hugs nina xxxxx

Hi Dizzy

All the best for Thursday, and although it may not be pleasant it is killing off any stray cells that could be there.

Keep us posted.

Anne

xx

Hi ann,

Thank you for your support. The one thing that i dont like is needles!!!!!!! im ok with blood taken, but the one in the back of the hand is something i really dont like and that is what im having tomorrow!.can you tell me if this is what you had? x regards dizzy.

Good luck tomorrow Dizzy.It is strange how the most dreaded part is always that needle :cry: .Its all downhill after that.Turn your head away and imagine it is Colin Firth or whoever you fancy putting the needle in (?!!!).It still hurts but you dont show it !!

Rose xxxx

thank you, i hope to be back on her soon as i dont want to dwell on what is or might happen

best wishes dizzy.x

thinking of you

let me know how it goes.good advice re thinking of someone/something eles when needles about i will be dreaming of dr mc dreamy (greys anatomy )

take care

lots love nina xxx

Hi Dizzy

Yes my first one was in the back of the hand and then I had a PICC line put in. As I am having herceptin for a further 9 months afer the chemo I was given this option and also my veins are not the best so it will save them getting too damaged. You may be able to have this done if you want, it does mean that it is in all the time and I have to have it flushed through once a week. Some people may not like the idea of something being stuck in their arm for a year! It does not hurt and have learnt to live with it.

I hope all went well today, just take it easy over the next few days, you will feel back to normal I am sure this time next week.

Love

Anne

x

Hi all,

nina i hope you are feeling a bit brighter - if any consolation I had a wobbly sunday and thought i was over it, then after a bottle of red monday, thought things were fine. Head hits the pillow and out it comes, me sobbing like a baby. I thought with my other half being partially deaf he woudn't know, but he did and he just held me. I felt better i think for just letting it out - we can't be brave all the time. sending you two arms (one stronger than the other thanks to the biospy!) to wrap around you when you feel blue.

i havent started my chemo yet and i am still waiting for the results of the second op. it all goes in one ear and out the other. I really cant remember if it was to check for pre cancerous cells or just to remove more of a margin as a precaution. But now I will not know until Wednesday. I asked my nurse about chemo and frm what i remember of that converstation it should be about 4 weeks, and then 6 cycles, third weekly. I will prob have hormone tablets too as i have half oestrogen sensitivity (or what ever they call it!). I have prepared myself mentally as best as you can do for a possibl masstectomy, only thing is it might delay the chemo, i want to get started so chemo will finish roughly two to three weeks before my 45th. Any excuse to celebrate each phase, and moving forward. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to those of you celebrating this week. i am nervous, but with the needle thingy - ---

most of us had kids so know a contraction lasts between 50 and 70 seconds. a midwife told me to stop concentrating on the contractions and imagine walking up a steep moountain with huge effort and keep and eye on the clock, so when the peak of the contraction hit, i would be at the top of the mountain and ready to 'roll down'. All that kept going through my head was 'jack and jill went up the hill...... anyway now when i am faced with the needle, i turn my head and think of either something wonderful - children, flowers in the field, and count the wonderful things i can see in my mind, or i i try and remember everyones birthdays in date order, and all the while, in the other hand, i press my nails into the palm to see if i can peirce the skin. Result is - i forget the needle the hand hurts and the memory is proved to be failing...... but we can't have it all !!! and for a couple of quid at the chemist, you can ge some emla or other numbing cream.

So today, i have coloured my hair - the grey was coming through, had some very short layers cut in to give some body so it resembles the wig (lol!) and for a once in ablue moon change, mascara eyeshadow, blush and lipstick. Now the old man (gorgeous he is really!) will really wonder what the hell is going on - can't remember the last time i wore any makeup. i thought it would be good to practice after a good facemask to remind me how simple it is, for when I really need it!

Caz i love the way you have turned around, i am so glad you could laugh about it, laughter is a great healer, and apparantly keeps the wrinkles at bay too.

I have been using my exercise bike and getting around half a day - sometimes more effort than others in terms of what i put in. However, not only starting to feel better and mroe ready to face the dreaded chemo, but my daughter (16) came into the bathroom this morning and took one look at my half naked bottom and said ' your bum looks nice and toned now.' what a boost to a 44 year old ! im thinking of not wearing the low cut dress for the wedding now, but rather one that is long at the front and short enough to show of my bum at the back,,,,,,, what do you think....??????? show off your best assets and all that ...?

i have mentioned before about the support on here being wonderful, and how it would be really good to find out who is reasonably local or who would like to meet up if the chance arose. I live in W london, not far from heathrow airport, but could travel.

My email/msn is as my screen name - then 1 at hotmail.com I access email frequently, so if anyone fancies a chat.......

Love sara xxxx

hi girls

happy birthday to the ladies celebrating this week, hope you managed to enjoy yourselves with all whats going on. n a big hello to the ladies that have joined this page. i hope we can help you get through this traumatic time. best of luck for your treatment.

sorry i havent been on much lately. i havent been that good since radio finished. i still feel quite ill n have had stess/muscle pain in my neck, shoulders n back. cant get rid of it. husbands been trying to massage the knots which helps a bit then after a couple of hours up i just cant hold my head properly. so annoying but then when you think of what the body n mind go through, its understanderble.

my legs work so much better now n with half the pain. so i can walk a lot more than before n have enjoyed lunches, walks, shopping n a night out with the girls. no dancing for me though yet. yes ladies i went out with my burnt, swollen, lopsided boob n enjoyed myself loads. i had my hat on, no mascara(they are growing but not enough to decorate) n new clothes. my girlfriends are all gorgeous but didnt feel too much out of place. there was a group out on stag do who came over to chat, n bless them, when they heard my news, bought a bottle of champers for me to celebrate. was so sweet, it made our night.

rose its so nice to see you! glad you put a pic up. how are things with you n your family? i hope you are feeling well. i think im brave enough to put a pic up without a hat on now. show you ladies how much hair i have now 3 months after chemo.

sara good luck for your results, be thinking of you. caz hope you are ok after your op. been thinking of you all week. best go cos of my neck, bloody thing.

lots of love to you all leonie xxxxxxx

Hi Lonie,

Sorry that you are still having problems,you are always so upbeat bless you.I,m glad you had a night out and treated to champers as well!!

The family are fine thanks,our son and DinLaw have stopped holding the baby as if she is made of glass and she is sleeping well so that is the main thing.I,m godd,still get breathless and tired and a couple of niggly bits but still get to do most things .Started Christmas shopping,I love christmas !!

Hopefully you will be feeling much better by then :love:

Hope you have a good weekend

Rose xxx