Hi I'm 45 and just found out that a lump I had on my breast is cancerous, I had lump and lymph nodes removed last tues, so I'm now waiting to hear what treatment I'm going to need, My consultant has said most likely 8 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, so 6 months in total and then radiotherapy mon-fri for a month, so i'm kinda in the unknown zone at the moment. Not looking forward to the hair loss, terribly vain i know, but my hair is very important to me like most women, I colour it blonde which will obviously have to stop. As far as I know my chemo will be given intrevenously, so my hair will most probably fall out. I am going to look into getting a real hair wig as I dont think i've got the guts to go au natural, I've also picked up a couple of bandanas to wear about the house. My partner says it doesnt matter if my hair falls out, as long as i'm here. Luckily I've found the lump very early by self examination whilst on holiday and my consultant is very positive about me getting better. I'm very wary about the next 9 months but feel quite determinded that chemo is a wonder drug and will make me better. My girls are 22 and 20 and are amazing, they have read stories in magazines about Kylie, sally from corrie etc and are determined I will just do what the doc says and get better, my partner who ive only been with for 2 years is the most wonderful guy ever, dunno what I'd do without him, he's been with me every step of the way. I was worried about losing my breast, but fortunately I had a lumpectomy which looks amazing. my consultant says put your life on hold for the next 6-9 months get better and you'll never look back, oh yeah sounds easy, but im trying really hard. I hope I'm still this positive whilst I go through my treatment (def not I hear you say) lol, but I'm a determined ***!

Hope to chat to others in the same situation xx

hi colly

just had my lump and nodes removed thursday (12th Aug) so will know my treatment shortly. I am expected to have radiotherapy and chemo but i thought radiotherapy came first, seems on here it is the other way around - perhaps I wasn't listening. I'm feeling a bit daunted at what comes next but more so for the effect it will have on the family - i worry too about not being the glamourous vital woman i was and will that change my realationship with my partner and so on. Although we are planning to get married. So much to talk about! it would appear you will be going through treatment at around the same time as me, so if you would like to stay in touch and discuss our good and bad days, please do !!! my email is simplysara1@hotmail.com

wishing the best of luck to you

sara

Hi there,

its nice to know that you are not the only one who is going

through this! i had my lumpectomy on 26th july, so they did the

reconstruction when they removed the lump. i have made it quite clear to

my breast care nurse that i will not be going to have the other breast

done has it was to painful! i start my treatment of chemo on the

17thsept. so scared not knowing what side affects i may go through. hope

someone can tell me not to worry!

regards dizzy

Sorry guys

No results again today

My head is a shed and I'm fuming

Don't know how much more I can take

Love Caz xxx

Littlesis,

The laydeeees on here will keep you straight and have already been telling you not to worry about ranting....this is what the site and us are here for and we all share the emotional pain!

Can't help on the reconstruction bit although I am sure someone will advise - as far as radiotherapy is concerned, it affects different people in different ways so no guarantee things are going to be bad although I suppose in a way it is better for you to prepare yourself for the worst just in case.

Stick with it, rant all you like and have lots of cyber hugs from us guys and girls <<>>

Much Love

T xxx

Hi Caz,

Sorry about this...you will keep taking it and putting up with the emotional and physical pain...easier said than done but try to control the stress...The bloody waiting is the worst as we have discussed many times on here...think of a way of not having to go down to the 'Jasmine' each time they promise and get them to call to confirm on the morning. It is wasting your time and theirs to keep getting you down there!!!

Great blog by the way!

Much Love

T xxx

Hi Patricia hope your well. A wee question for ya. After you finished your treatment did you have any kind of scan to make sure everything was clear? I've had so many people say no and I can't quite comprehend that, why wouldn't they how do they know it's gone. 2 more chemise and radio and that's me done. Hope the rest of you girlies and Tony are well. Col x

Hi Col,

Sorry to disappoint you but there is no scan available to detect such small levels of cancer. I had a cyst removed to discover that it had cancerous cells inside. The recommendation was to have my breast removed although at the time couldn't understand why if the cancer was inside the cyst. In hind sight this was the right decision as one or two cells were found. They found that there was clear flesh between me and the removed breast and that there was nothing in the lymphnodes. The chemotherapy and radiotherapy was just an extra precaution to kill off any wandering cell which may have managed to escape. I will, of course, still have to be monitored regularly for the next five years but as far as they are concerned at the moment, they have got it all.

I'm starting to feel half way near normal,each week that goes by I feel slightly better. Off to London at the weekend, my ex sister-in-law is taking the week off, I'm staying with her. One or two plans in pipeline, theatre, spa, meals, Thames festival and a visit to Bath staying overnight at her son's house. Can't wait!!!!

So glad for you that you are getting near the end of your chemo treatment. The radiotherapy is so much easier to deal with. Chin up.

Patricia x

Hi Dizzy

I have just had my 2nd chemo. Everyone is different and so far I have found that the first week I felt really tired, lethargic and yuk. The second week I felt more normal and week three better again. My advice would be to make sure you drink plenty of water the day before the chemo and try and keep it up the following days. I had really bad constipation after my first treatment and had to result to suppositories!!

Just listen to your body, rest when you are tired and don't feel guilty about others doing all the work. I find myself watching lots of TV - History Channel and I have taken up jigsaws If you can get out for a drive in the car just to get out of the house also help take your mind of things and it makes you realise what a wonderful country we live in and gives you a great to be alive feeling.

Keep us posted and all the best for the 17th

Anne

xx

Hi Ladies and Hi Tony,

Thank you all for your messages of support. I was home by 1pm!! absolutely shattered and slept a lot, which meant I couldn't keep the tooth in just incase I swallowed it. So I was back to being very glam, snoring a lot with a gaping hole in my mouth Anyway, I have to wait to 14th for the results.

I feel fine, but a bit tired and I wondered if anyone else found like me, that two days later I still feel brain muddled, llike i am spacing out a bit, oir suddenly tired for no reason?

Grandkids came over today but also my daughter from Kent - haven't seen her in nearly a year and the two babies - oh wow, it was so lovely!!!! They finally all opened their xmas pressies !!!!

It is so difficult waiting for results and mentally preparing yourself for treatment when we do not know what to expect, but everyone is different and that's what makes this forum so great, people are so honest that a good all round view is given. It is easy to say don't worry, but we all know that regardless we do. I have tried some things to help me cope. Some relaxing music played at barely audiable level at night, plenty of books, and a change in diet and cooking practices. I have started knittng again and practice breathing when I get stressed. I used my exercise bike for the first time since sunday (obviously with the op etc.,) and took it slow, but managed a half hour and felt so much better afterwards. It does help with stress and fatigue, but it takes some doing I can tell you a good walk might help.

I am sending you a hug and best wishes - come scream when you like - we all are here to listen xxxxxxxxxxxxx

sara xx

Hi Sara

glad things went to plan and you are beginning to recover.As you say listen to your body and indulge yourself.The spaced out feeling is something I remember,as if I was looking through a window .You have had a lot of body bashing lately so do take things easy and allow time to recover.You may find that you will crash in a few days when the adrenalin rush stops,plenty of healthy food and a tub of icecream is the order of the day.

It must have been brilliant to see your grandchildren,what a boost for you.We appreciate these things much more now.

Hope you continue to get ;) better .

Rose xxx

Hi girls

Sara, it looks like I will be a couple of weeks behind you as far as treatment goes

My results showed that I have lobular cancer in my right breast and ductal cancer in my left breast, and my surgery is scheduled for next wednesday.

Before my surgery I have to make the decision wether to have mastectomy or quadrantectomy (including losing the nipple) on my left breast.

Tonight I am going to have a couple of glasses of wine and try and let it sink in so I can make a decision by friday.

All opinions greatfully received

Love Caz xxx

Hi girls

Sara, it looks like I will be a couple of weeks behind you as far as treatment goes

My results showed that I have lobular cancer in my right breast and ductal cancer in my left breast, and my surgery is scheduled for next wednesday.

Before my surgery I have to make the decision wether to have mastectomy or quadrantectomy (including losing the nipple) on my left breast.

Tonight I am going to have a couple of glasses of wine and try and let it sink in so I can make a decision by friday.

All opinions greatfully received

Love Caz xxx

dear caz

so sorry to hear your news. bloody awful having 2 types of the horrible beast. you are bound to need more time to think this one out. cant tell you how sorry i am. just need o remember, at the mo we need all the help we can get to get better n no matter what that is, surely its worth it?!

had lots of hassle sorting out passports n flights lately for this holiday but i promise as soon as the flights are booked, i will be online more n hopefully i can be there for all of you.

im really glad the op went well for you sara, enjoy your time before chemo now. the anaesthetic will wear off n like rose said, you'll probably feel quite low then but on the road away from it.

patrica, thanks for answering my post. it helped a lot to hear that but im sorry for you at the same time. onwards n upwards hun!

good night n speak soon

love leonie xxxxxxx

I have made the decision to have the double mastectomy.

It was a very hard decision to make.... but

Self presavation kicked in,,,,,, and to be honest, look at the choices!

Mastectomy and quadrantectomy including nipple removal........ 2 horrendous scars and a mis shapen deformed lump on my chest... with constant worry of grade 3 lobular cancer re occurring in the future

Or double mastectomy..... 2 even matching scars....... and peace of mind

Not much of a choice when I finally got my head straight

But I think the hardest thing is trying to take it all in and make sence of it all

Thank you all for your support and words of encouragement

Love Caz xxx

Well done Caz,I think you have made the right very difficult choice.:love:

Rose xxx

Hi caz you are in my prayers, I think you have made a very difficult decision but in my mind the correct one, it's amazing what they can do now a days. Good luck love colly x

Hi Caz

I think you have made the right choice also, and they can do amazing re-constructive work these days. One step at a time. Good luck for the operation I will be thinking of you.

Anne

xx

I have got used to the idea and told Barbara (my breast nurse)... and now she has made all the arrangements.

I have to go in on Tuesday for my final appointment, blood tests, constent forms etc

I feel strangly calm... sort of a wierd acceptance .... i told Dave that I am scared I will crach and burn on Wednesday.... he said I may crash, but he will never let me burn.

But I do know that I am scared at the speed this has all snowballed

Love Caz xx

Hi Caz,

I'm glad you've made a decision that you're comfortable with. I will be thinking about you next week and am sure you'll be back here in no time.

I read what you said about the speed this has all snowballed at, but sometimes you're better off that way....I've almost had 'too' long to think about my operation and I sincerely wish they'd not told me back in April what was in store for me - because I've had way too long to worry about it all.

Will keep fingers crossed that all goes really smoothly next week. Will you get hubby to update your blog or will we have to wait until you're out of hospital?

Dizzie xxx

My husband is dyslexic so I'm afraid you will have to wait till I come home, but according to Barbara, I should be home Friday or Saturday.

Xxx

Hi Caroline

I have been reading your news, and I just want to say how very sorry I am and that I think you are being very brave and very dignified in how you are handling this, Im not sure I would have been so calm, dont think that you have to handle it this way cos if you have a day where you feel like screaming and shouting well just get right on here and do just that, and noone will think any less of you, you are such a beautiful lady and your husband sounds like a real gem.

I wish you all the luck in the world and will be routing for you next week.

All my love

Lee xx

P.S .....A big hi to all the girls and a big cyber hug too.xxxxxxxxx

a big hi to you all ! I had a really tearful day yesterday, I looked at my 'new' scar and fell to pieces, and then the negative thoughts do what they do best and spiral into dispair. I remember reading somewhere on here that one lady allows herself one or two days a month to let off steam. I had one day yesterday. I feel better today having let it all out and as all the wonderful people will tell you here, we live off the adrenalin at first and when its gone, we crash Compared to Caz's dilema mine was nothing. . I had thought about mastectomy - and I think caz has made the best decision for her - hugs and best wishes. I have seen some of the reconstructions and they are absolutely amazing - and they can redo the original scars to make them almost non existent. i haven't ruled out having double mastectomy although my surgeon thinks im taking this a bit too far, but has said if thats what i want, then we can discuss. I would prefer to wait till all treatment is finished and think of it as new boobs, new hair NEW ME !!!! Just a reminder Caz and all the others of you who get the depressed days like I had yesterday, our nipples and balls of bouncing fat that sit upon our chests might be the visible signs of sexuality, but the biggest sex organ is the brain. Boobs can be rebuilt, love continues to grow and bring you closer, and each morning the sun rises to greet us and glows red to say goodnight. All the feelings you have are natural and normal, but take everything one step at a time, give yoruself tme to grieve for the loss, then kick your backside into gear, come and chat here and remember life will be good again xxxxxx thinking of you

sara xx