Hi I'm 45 and just found out that a lump I had on my breast is cancerous, I had lump and lymph nodes removed last tues, so I'm now waiting to hear what treatment I'm going to need, My consultant has said most likely 8 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, so 6 months in total and then radiotherapy mon-fri for a month, so i'm kinda in the unknown zone at the moment. Not looking forward to the hair loss, terribly vain i know, but my hair is very important to me like most women, I colour it blonde which will obviously have to stop. As far as I know my chemo will be given intrevenously, so my hair will most probably fall out. I am going to look into getting a real hair wig as I dont think i've got the guts to go au natural, I've also picked up a couple of bandanas to wear about the house. My partner says it doesnt matter if my hair falls out, as long as i'm here. Luckily I've found the lump very early by self examination whilst on holiday and my consultant is very positive about me getting better. I'm very wary about the next 9 months but feel quite determinded that chemo is a wonder drug and will make me better. My girls are 22 and 20 and are amazing, they have read stories in magazines about Kylie, sally from corrie etc and are determined I will just do what the doc says and get better, my partner who ive only been with for 2 years is the most wonderful guy ever, dunno what I'd do without him, he's been with me every step of the way. I was worried about losing my breast, but fortunately I had a lumpectomy which looks amazing. my consultant says put your life on hold for the next 6-9 months get better and you'll never look back, oh yeah sounds easy, but im trying really hard. I hope I'm still this positive whilst I go through my treatment (def not I hear you say) lol, but I'm a determined ***!

Hope to chat to others in the same situation xx

hi colly

just had my lump and nodes removed thursday (12th Aug) so will know my treatment shortly. I am expected to have radiotherapy and chemo but i thought radiotherapy came first, seems on here it is the other way around - perhaps I wasn't listening. I'm feeling a bit daunted at what comes next but more so for the effect it will have on the family - i worry too about not being the glamourous vital woman i was and will that change my realationship with my partner and so on. Although we are planning to get married. So much to talk about! it would appear you will be going through treatment at around the same time as me, so if you would like to stay in touch and discuss our good and bad days, please do !!! my email is simplysara1@hotmail.com

wishing the best of luck to you

sara

Hi Patricia, im over the moon for you thats fab news. Onwards and upwards living life to the full. Hope you'll come on every now and then and let us know how your doing. Once again congratulations babe.

Sitesi you had exactly the same as me i thought i was also having a heart attack, not a nice pain, still dont feel gr8 but hoping back to normal by the weekend.

Lee thanks for asking your doc hope you dont get affected same way as me. Thanks to you other girlies too. Ntnte xx

Good luck tomorrow lonie,you must be so excited !!Get that wine chilling ready.So many good wishes to you, at last you are on the recovery route.

Rose xxx

hi girls

aw im so pleased for you patrica! that must be a great feeling to have an all clear. you go love n get stronger n stronger. just take things at a time including work, when you feel ready. think we all been taught to enjoy what we do n if we dont, then dont bloody well do it ey! you too journey girl, well done n all the best for getting that normal life back.

can i just ask about the all clear. its just ive been told i wont get it n need to understand how it works. is it certain cancers that get it and not others? i just dont understand why i was told that no-one gets the all clear as some patients were trying to sue the hospital/doctor if it came back? and yet you've both, as well as others, been given the all clear. i was told that as there was no cancer visible on the scans before chemo, then as far as they were concerned that is good enough for them. they explained that as cancer cells are so small, it was virtually impossible to find single cells. they told me today that it takes about a billion cancer cells to form a small lump that would be visible on a ct scan! i dont want to scare anyone, but i just dont get why some people get the all clear and not others.

anyway, on a more positive note, tomorrow is the last radio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so as far as i'm concerned, my treatment is nearly over, i mean, i know i've got to go back every three weeks till february for herceptin and avastin, but compared to what i've already been through/suffered/achieved already, it is nothing.

rose, i'm glad you've got your wine chilling! i may have a drop of red so mine may need warming! i'll make sure i'm on line tomorrow so i hope you will all be drinking with me! the more the merrier! so come on all you girls, and blokes, out there, i'd love you to join me for a tipple, as long as you can! and all those who are unable, when your treatment is over you let me know and i'd love to celebrate with you all! i mean that, i've got so much love and time for you all, you are all so special and dear to me.

and on a much more positive note, got a phone call from my bro while at the hospital. he's only gone and booked my holiday! great, buts in in 4 weeks, and i'm the only one in the house with a passport! oh well, just a bit more stress, but compared to what i've had, this is much more enjoyable stress!

ps, jon wrote this post and went on a little rant when i popped to the loo! now we have ended up having a tiff about the cancer n it coming back n our outlook about it all. sometimes i just want him to listen to my fears n what i understood from the doctor. he hears different to me sometimes. sorry to end that on a low.

be online tomorrow night. lots of love to you all

leonie xxxxxxxxxx

Patricia... Brilliant news honey, I am so pleased for you

Leonie...Last radio tomorrow.... what a triumph for you... well done honey

Don't fall out with your hubby, he is only trying to make things easier for you... our husbands have seen all the pain and worry that we have gone through and they get so frustrated because as our big brave protectors, they can't protect us from this.... he doesn't want you to worry any more than necessary so he trys to make light of your fears, not because he doesn't care how you feel, but because he wants you to believe him and not worry anymore.... Its because he loves you honey.

I have got a very large bottle of red wine on my side... I will celebrate your last radio with you

I get my results from my scan and biopsy's tomorrow and find out if I am having a mastectomy and lumpectomy or a double mastectomy...

Either way, I will have a glass of red with you to celebrate or comissorate

My appointment is 12.30... I will be online when I get home and let you know how I get on.

Love to you all

Caz Xxx

Hi Leonie,

Good luck for tomorrow and for sure I will be having a wee tipple of something to celebrate your achievement at walking out into the sunlight after all these months being in that dark horrible tunnel.

Yes, you are quite right. No doctor is going to say 100 percent that you don't have cancer. In my case I was told that after having my mx that they were confident that they had got it all and it hadn't spread to my lymphnodes. The chemo and radio treatments were to try and mop up any stray cells. I will still have to be monitored for the next five years with appointments to see the oncologist and the breast consultant. Unfortunately as my case was slightly unusual, in that it was a cyst and not a tumor/lump and was triple negative there is no further treatment available to me. So as far as anyone is concerned at the moment, I'm clear.

A holiday is most definately a good idea. I'm off to London next weeknd, staying with my sister-in-law. Her husband will be away working for two weeks, so it's just us, doing what we want to do. Just have to decide which shows to go and see!

Anyway, all the best again for tomorrow and I'll have that drink waiting.

Patricia x

Hello Patricia and all on this post

How wonderful you have finished your treatment, I had a little tear of joy and it has given me encouragement to know there is a light at the end of the treatment tunnel.

I had my 2nd chemo yesterday and apart from being sick once in the night do not feel too bad today - hope I have not spoken too soon!

I decided to get rid of the hair on Tuesday and my hubby went over it with the clippers. It was more emotional for him than me. I am so glad I did it, it was starting to fall out and I thought I wanted to be in control of it. I have been sporting several types of head gear - cap, scarve, turban and the wig has now had 3 outings!

Caz - all the best for today and to all the other ladies hope the side effects start to wain over the next few weeks.

Much love

Anne

Right Leonie,I,ll get the first round in .Red for you and a nice Merlot for me.Cheers !!!!

Your round :love: I hope you get better really quickly and stay that way sweetheart.

Rose xx

hi rose

changed my mind n having bottle of fizzy white. hope your merlot tastes good. cant believe its over. stage 3 finally complete n yes, it feels great! so bloody tired from it all n having to go out everyday. cheers!

just gonna get charly in bed n i'll be back in a mo.

xxxxxxx

aw god are we having problems with charly at mo. he just keeps screaming n its so hard to deal with. he wont sleep when hes tired n thats half the problem. then we have the terrible 2s. we had just had a great 2 hours in the garden aswell.

anyone else joined us? thought we could have a little chat whist sipping?

caroline, how are you hun after your results? i hope so much you had good news. but dont forget, its best they find it now so they can treat you properly. come on, open that bottle of red.

you ready for another rose? my round! ha this is different.

xxxxxxx

feeling very lonely. is anybody there???

helloooo!!

feeling very lonely. is anybody there???

helloooo!!

I,m still here.Caroline,s results werent through so the poor thing has to wait again.In a hospital near me they have just opened a 6 million pound BC unit where all the scanners and machines are together so that it can all be sorted on the spot and not visit different hospitals.

Just send you this so you dont go

Bed time is murder when they are 2 ,you have to catch them when they are tired but not too tired which is a skill in itself.Soon you will be able to run after him and sort him out !!We have been blackberry picking today,had loads and put them in the freezer for crumbles and tarts in the winter.i used to make blackberry wine but still have some from last year so wont bother this year.

Going to watch The Bodyguard on telly now for the 20th time,I do like Kevin Costner.

Have a lovely night and congratulationsAt last :love:

Rose xxx

glad i'm not here all alone! family is great but they're not 'the girls and tony'! nice to see you're there rose, you're the only one on-line with me by the looks of it! poor caroline; that must be bloody awful. all my hopes and thoughts are with you love.

cheers rose

raise your glass for a cyber *****!!!

xxxxx

didnt say anything rude then. just meant the noise when glasses go together for a cheers.

sounds lovely rose, think i might send the boys out for some. enjoy your film n lots of love

night xxxxxx

Wow - the positive feelings coming out of here the last couple of days even with the dreaded results due and feeling like crap! And even more suprised was I to see so many of you enjoying a glass of something good! so with my bottle on its way to me as we speak - my last drink for a good while as 2nd surgery this Monday, I will be drinking to your successes and for good news for the rest of you.

i sometimes come here too and find there is no one here to talk to - but if anyone has MSN just add a 1 at the end of my name the usual AT and then hotmail dot com. I would love to have more of a 'chat' than just post messages, its a bit more personal.

By the way - I hope you ladies have been checking out "LOOK BETTER FEEL GREAT" for those of you who don't know - it is a make over for ladies with cancer - how to do makeup and a small bag of goodies too. A real pampering session - free of charge - find it on the net !!!!

I had my grand children here today. Little sophie (4) was no trouble but my little Aiden (2 ) - well he wears me out just thinking about him, so for all of you with little ones, I sympathise! They keep you strong but wear you out!

Have a really good weekend all, and I will check in with you all later in the week.

Sara xxxxxx

Hi ladies.

Leonie, congratulations honey.... I am so pleased for you.

Roses, thank you for being my sanity line today

The great thing about this group is that you never have to cope with anything alone

Thank you

Love Caz xxx

P.S. Leonie, I raise my glass of Merlot to you honey. Xxx

cheers sara,

glad you're having one with us. good luck for monday, be thinking of you. speak to you when you're next online. i'll try n sort msn next week when time. are you on facebook? im not but jon is. wishing you all the best hun n lots of love to you.

xxxxxxxx

Hi Sara,

Enjoy your tipple ,how long will you be in hospital?

I love having my grandchildren over (3years,9 months and 3 weeks) but they do wear you out .As you said i take my hat off to anyone going through this and looking after young ones.I keep getting tearful at things Harry says,especially when he says I am his best friend.( blubbering grandmother )

Good luck for Monday.Stay strong,

Rose xxx

Good luck for Monday Sara

We will be thinking of you and praying for you

Love always

Caz Xxx

thanks caz. means a lot. sorry to hear you didnt get results today, must be awful for you. we'll all be here for you thats for sure. try n have a good weekend hun. gonna look at your other page so i know more about it n how you feel.

chin up lovely girl, n cheers!!

love xxxxx