Hi I'm 45 and just found out that a lump I had on my breast is cancerous, I had lump and lymph nodes removed last tues, so I'm now waiting to hear what treatment I'm going to need, My consultant has said most likely 8 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, so 6 months in total and then radiotherapy mon-fri for a month, so i'm kinda in the unknown zone at the moment. Not looking forward to the hair loss, terribly vain i know, but my hair is very important to me like most women, I colour it blonde which will obviously have to stop. As far as I know my chemo will be given intrevenously, so my hair will most probably fall out. I am going to look into getting a real hair wig as I dont think i've got the guts to go au natural, I've also picked up a couple of bandanas to wear about the house. My partner says it doesnt matter if my hair falls out, as long as i'm here. Luckily I've found the lump very early by self examination whilst on holiday and my consultant is very positive about me getting better. I'm very wary about the next 9 months but feel quite determinded that chemo is a wonder drug and will make me better. My girls are 22 and 20 and are amazing, they have read stories in magazines about Kylie, sally from corrie etc and are determined I will just do what the doc says and get better, my partner who ive only been with for 2 years is the most wonderful guy ever, dunno what I'd do without him, he's been with me every step of the way. I was worried about losing my breast, but fortunately I had a lumpectomy which looks amazing. my consultant says put your life on hold for the next 6-9 months get better and you'll never look back, oh yeah sounds easy, but im trying really hard. I hope I'm still this positive whilst I go through my treatment (def not I hear you say) lol, but I'm a determined ***!

Hope to chat to others in the same situation xx

hi colly

just had my lump and nodes removed thursday (12th Aug) so will know my treatment shortly. I am expected to have radiotherapy and chemo but i thought radiotherapy came first, seems on here it is the other way around - perhaps I wasn't listening. I'm feeling a bit daunted at what comes next but more so for the effect it will have on the family - i worry too about not being the glamourous vital woman i was and will that change my realationship with my partner and so on. Although we are planning to get married. So much to talk about! it would appear you will be going through treatment at around the same time as me, so if you would like to stay in touch and discuss our good and bad days, please do !!! my email is simplysara1@hotmail.com

wishing the best of luck to you

sara

Hi Ladies and Tony,

First can I thanks tony who directed me to this post, you don't know how much this has helped me. Thank you so much Tony.

Right Ladies, I have only just been diagnosed with breast cancer, I have still got to have my MRI so I don't even find out how far the cancer has spread until 27th August, and my operation to remove it is set for 1st september, I put a post on this board explaining how lost I was feeling, but after spending a full day reading all 16 pages of this post, I don't feel as scared. I know I am in for the long haul but after reading all your experiences, for the first time, I don't feel so alone. Don't get me wrong, hy husband has been brilliant, by my side every step of the way, but you know what I mean when I say alone.

I have laughed with you and even cried with you... but please know ladies, you have all helped me so much.

At the moment, it's the not knowing that is doing my head in, I have got a 20 year old son and a 14 year old daughter and at the moment, I am pretty positive, but worried too.

I am going to add my own story to this one if thats alright with you ladies, and hopefully my experiences will help other ladies as much as your experiences have helped me..... they say that every cloud has a silver lining.... wel please know, you ladies are my silver lining.

Thank you for being selfless enough to document how you feel

My heart is with you all

Thanks again

Caroline. Xxx

Hi Caroline

You're not lost or alone anymore...

Everyone will play their part - your husband, son, daughter, family, friends, yourself...but its amazing how this cyber world of 'strangers' plays its part too.

Tony is best at the cyber hugs, but here's my attempt at one from us all (((((( ))))))

Be thinking of you on 27th August

Shents xx

That was the worst cyber hug ever - the bloomin hug bit went on a new line half way through!

Here's another attempt - ((((((( :grin: )))))))

xx

Hi sara

glad we're here to chat with you, sorry you've had to come on because of cancer, hope you are doing ok and Caroline, same to you, Congratulations Rose on the safe arrival of your grandaughter. Ive not been on for a few days, my lap top away getting fixed and I hate using this one of johns as its so slow. How are the rest of you girlies and tony too? Ive been ok this week, but i must admit this 3rd chemo session seems to have tired me out quite a bit moire than the first 2. Thats me finished the FEC next wed i will be onto the T, so 6/10 is my last chemo then onto my Radio. Ive had a sore neck right from the beginning of this treatment as though its like swollen glands and my wind pipe seems narrower as tho i need to chew my food into smaller pieces, weird i know, im going to mention it next week, i did say to nurse as i was worried cancer had spread but she just said this chemo is blasting anything thats there so stop worrying and that my margins were clear so it hasnt spread, but how do they know that and wehn treatment is over how do they know its all clear do they scan you or do they just surmise its clear? This is what i feel confused about, so any of you ladies that have finished your treatment what did they say to you to put your mind at rest? Ive just read so many stories about people whove had breast cancer 4 years ago and now its back, how does this happen, is it bad luck, or is it because the chemo hasnt done its job properly? I know i sound a right misery guts but ive been thinking about this a lot recently, i want to get over this and never go through it again, any replies much appreciated. Anyway hope you are all doing well, speak soon Col x

Hi Colly,

Well done ,that bit nearer the finishing line .A lot of these treatments give you sore throats or flu like symptoms which make you wonder.It takes a long time to stop thinking that every twinge or swelling is a new worry.In my experience they do not scan as the chemo should have been enough to zap everything.i asked why and was told it would be too time consuming and expensive to check people who are clear when they have so many to check who are starting their diagnosis.With hindsight I would have paid for a private scan as mine came back but I must stress that mine was a very aggressive type which had already spread to the lymph glands. Some people dont change their habits eg smoking ,unhealthy food , so it invites the same result . You are not a misery,you are starting to think ahead .I would say trust your instincts and get any worries checked out straight away then cross your fingers and get on with the rest of your healthy life.My oncologist told me that it can take a year for your body to recover from all the treatment but I think the mental side takes longer. I am sure you will be fine,you have a good attitude.Dont forget worry does not help healing

You could write your blog on Dizzies other discussions site,it really helps.

Rose xxx

Hi Col, Rose and all,

It is normal to wonder - i think that suddenly you become a bit paranoid. My sister (who had cancer of the cervix and was really really ill for three years) said the same. She said that it is probably because we are in at least some control of our lives, making decisions and having at least an idea or understanding what the consequences might be. Suddenly, everything is out of control and the fear and anxiety manifest themselves in strange ways. We are feeling let down by our bodies, unsure of the treatments and how we will look feel etc etc.,

I have been through this too and it is awful, but I keep reminding myself I am being paranoid and keep thinking about the wonderful comments from you all on here.

I had my cut a good three inches today - boo hoo- it was more than 17 inches long - took three years to grow it. I had planned on a perm - just typical. My front tooth fel out yesterday so I had to go get a fix - which means a plate next week after the old root has been removed. At least it will give me a week or two before the next treatments start. I am here with my pack of cigarettes - but have patches, gum and an inhaler because bedtime is my last cigarette EVER!!!!!

i am sometimes positive and shrug things off, other times i get tearful, but as i said to my distraught daughter (dumped by her fella yesterday) we have to keep on going and be positive, remember the old saying - negative attracts negative thoughts and so on ...........

It is normal to worry, so accept that it is, try and put it out of your mind and remember too that everyone and their treatment, reactions and reoccurence or not is different. Sending you a hug and some of the strength and positve feelings i found from somewhere today!!!

sara xx

Hi Ladies and Tony.

Well my results are good today, the lymph node biopsy is clear, so that

means it hasn't spread any further....... the first bit of good news

I've had since this crazy merry go round started. I will still need a

sentinal node biopsy during my operation, but that is still a couple of

weeks away (2 weeks tomorrow)

I spoke to my surgeon today and asked about the MRI scan, next week and

she told me that even if they find some more lumps, they will just

delay the operation for a week while they biopsy the new lumps.

I feel so much better today as I feel like I know a lot more of what is

going to happen, I am trying not to worry about the MRI scan too much at

the moment, I wll probably be a bag of nerves next week on the days

between the scan and the results.......... but that's next week.

Until then, i think a bottle of wine is in order to celebrate

We don't get much good news with this gig.... so I am going to make the most of it

Love Caz xx

Hi Ladies and Tony.

Well my results are good today, the lymph node biopsy is clear, so that

means it hasn't spread any further....... the first bit of good news

I've had since this crazy merry go round started. I will still need a

sentinal node biopsy during my operation, but that is still a couple of

weeks away (2 weeks tomorrow)

I spoke to my surgeon today and asked about the MRI scan, next week and

she told me that even if they find some more lumps, they will just

delay the operation for a week while they biopsy the new lumps.

I feel so much better today as I feel like I know a lot more of what is

going to happen, I am trying not to worry about the MRI scan too much at

the moment, I wll probably be a bag of nerves next week on the days

between the scan and the results.......... but that's next week.

Until then, i think a bottle of wine is in order to celebrate

We don't get much good news with this gig.... so I am going to make the most of it

Love Caz xx

Hi Caz,

That is fantastic news...I love the glass half full approach (especially with wine in it, sorry poor joke )

I don't feel all of us on here are strangers as we share some of our deepest darkest thoughts and I for one have made some great friends on here.

Stay cool, there are some tough times ahead but you will get through it...it is great having a supportive family and a group of people that have been where you are going... I found that at times I didn't want to upset my family and its not that they don't understand just that this is different and you need different areas of support.

Enjoy that wine...hope its a good red as allegedly cancer hates red wine or at least the red grapes that are in it...so it is medicinal after all.

Much Love

Tony xx