Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.

Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!

Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.

Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.

Take care and hope you are all ok

love Lou

Well said Lou,

There are so many of us on this site now .Good luck and bless you all and the lovely people who care for us.

Rose xxx

Hi Lee

Glad everything went well today, it really isn't that bad, I too was emotional first time round, I think we are doing pretty well for beginners lol, I went to get my bloods taken today and the nurse said 'oh youve still got plenty hair, usually its all out before your 2nd chemo' so i dunno everyone is different, glad it all went well. xx

hi all

hope today went well for you col n hope you are feeling ok. make sure you keep on top of anti sickness med then hopefully you wont be sick this time. thinking of you as always.

glad to hear all went well lee. keep us posted on how youre feeling cos us ones that have been through it, will be thinking of you ones going through it now quite a lot. im always checking this page for replies, though dont always have the energy or knowledge to reply. hope you are feeling well.

patrica, how nice to hear from you n see your name on the page again. we missed your stories. so glad you are well n enjoying yourself with your mum. though a bit cheeky on your poor son, hehe.

i forgot to say well done lou for taking part in race for life. its brilliant that you could walk it with your friends. n whata lovely surpise from kids football team. its so nice when people perk you up when feeling so crabby. we all understand about the shouting thing, its perfectly normal to us patients. a little harder for our loved ones though, bless em. feeling so ill n not being able to do things we'd like or used to do, is so fustrating. maybe you should let a bit more steam off on here.

went for psychiatrist app last week n he couldnt stop smiling at me n what i was saying. did get my app wrong again though, was at 10n i thought it was 11! i feel so different to when i had my 1st app. n that was only my 2nd. but im not in that dark horrible place that i was, n i know this site n this page has made a huge difference to me. of course not having those side affects has helped me no end as well. but the further i get away from chemo the better n more possitive i feel inside. i look forward to living again n doing the normal daily things. only thing thats stopping me now is the muscle pain n fatigue. god knows how long that will last. so i have now stopped seeing him but i can call anytime to see him again if needed. gonna stay on anti depressants though probably untill ive finished treatment.

shelley, feel so much for you n would be there when you want to chat but i dont know much about different cancers. dont know that much about my own but i know how it makes you feel. wish you allthe best n will keep an eye out for you on here.

ladies, good luck with your treatment, n sending you all lotsof love.

leonie xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Leonie, Thanx, nice to see read your posts, well thats 2nd chemo session over, all went well in and out in half an hour, so that was good as john had a big meeting at work and dont like to keep him away too long, tho he said tough they can wait. Patricia glad your getting out and about at shops, retail therapy is fab if you have the energy, tho your poor son lol if only he knew what you 2 wee monkeys were up too. Leonie hope your muscle pain and fatigue goes away soon, shelley sorry to see youve joined our forum, but honestly this site has helped me so much, keep posting and let us know how your doing. Lee 2nd chemo was fine, sitting here with my wig on trying to get used to it, my friend came in and i put it on for her and her 18 yr old son, they couldnt believe how nice it was, they loved it and loved the cut and colour lol. Lots of love to you all. Col xx

Hi girls

well its day 2 if you don't count the actual chemo day and I feel ok I hate taking the tablets but thats just me and there seems to be so many, the nausea seems to be lurking in the background but not doing enough to make me shout, Shelly welcome I'm sorry your here but you wont meet a nicer bunch of girls and guys! they really will help you through this.

Colly glad to hear your second chemo went well, are you wearing your wig now or was it just a try on and have you lost much hair yet.

I'm having a lot of difficulty eating at the moment I wonder if anyone has any suggestions as I don't want to make myself worse for not eating.

I went for a really long walk yesterday with my husband along the beach, it was so lovely to get out in the fresh air, on our way back the heavens opened and it began to pour down with rain, my poor husband got all panicky and said oh no I haven't brought an umbrella with me you'll get your hair wet, at that moment we just stood there in the rain and laughed, sod the hair I said lets just Enjoy the rain, its kinda funny when you start to put things into perspective, that was definately one of my favourite walks.

take care girls my thoughts are with you every day

Lee xxxxxxxx

Hi Lee

plenty of fresh air is good for you, I was just trying on the wig to let my friend see it and to try and get used to it, my hair is falling out fast and furiously, tho very even all over, seems to be thinning more at the back, but I've just been clipping it up and putting a hair band on as I've still got a fair amount at front but you can see my scalp which you couldnt see before as I have really thick hair and loads of it, I'd say my hair starting thinning out after 2 weeks, but to be honest I don't think its going to last for much longer, Ive ordered a few scarves from Bohemia hair fashions online, they came the next day. I like you feel a bit nauseas the day after chemo, think its getting used to the tablets, anti sickness on an empty tum and steroids with or after food, so now i know i dont feel too bad today, its the not sleeping properly that drives me mad, obviously the steroids keeping my awake. As for food, I wouldnt say ive lost my appetite but some foods taste very bland like a ham sandwich needs branston pickle, pizza i have to have pineapple etc, so ffods with a distinctive taste, oh and heinz tomato soup lol. Hope you continue to feel fine, just waiting on johns sis whos a nurse coming up to give me my jag as i cant do that myslef lol. Take care. col x

Hi guys

well its day 4 and I have to say im feeling pretty rough, the nausea wont go away and now and again I get these awful pressure headaches just want to feel normal again, sorry to sound so low but I'm just so fed up, I'm sure I must be lousy company at the moment for my husband and my family, I'm so used to being the one that looks after everyone else and also being the bubbly one around the house, Someone please tell me this doesnt go on for the entire time im having chemo.

lee xxxxxxx

Hi Lee,

Sorry you are feeling so low.Everyone has different effects so it is hard to say.the nurses told me to take the anti sickness tabs because they dont work once you start actually being sick.Personally i was never sick anyway and never took any.I ate a lot of mashed potato and ice cream (not together)which seemed to keep it at bay.

Dont worry about others,they will understand as long as you explain.this is your time to be selfish.If things do not improve ring the nurses,they are there to help and dont want to see you suffer.I am sending you a get better hug and hope it all wears off soon.Chin up lovely girl,there IS a light somewhere in that tunnel.

Loads of love

Rose. xxxxxxx

Hi Lee

The chemo affects everyone in different ways, and it effected me slightly differently each session too.

Usually, after a week or so, I'd start feeling a lot better, but the first few days were always the worst.

Keep drinking plenty of water, and just do what your body tells you to do - rest when you need to and let everyone else look after themselves until you're ready to be bubbly again - which you will be - don't worry.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

If you haven't got over the nausea by the rest of the weekend, then why not give your chemo nurses a call - they can give you more anti-sickness stuff if you need it.

Once you start picking up again, make sure you give yourself plenty of treats - ice cream/retail therapy/ coffee with pals/ whatever will give you a lift.

You're doing well - just dig in there, girl

shents x

Hey Rose - we must have been typing replies at exactly the same time!

Hope you're well

Shents x

hi lee

aw i feel for you so much. really hoped you'd be like the others n not feel that bad. i hope it only lasts a short time for you.

i found after a week, week n half, i was feeling ok again. i did feel like you do, sick, head rushes with intense pain briefly n couldnt eat though was very hungry. you need to get some complan/or ensure for a start. its milkshake but with all the goodness you need. then at least your getting what you need food wise. get yourself some ginger biscuits aswell cos it helps with feeling sick n the awfull taste in your mouth. walk slower n get up slower cos im sure that can help too. other than that you just need to try different things n see what tastes nice to you.

its not nice to be ill lee. but we are. we want to carry on as normal cos its all we know n how we live our lives. but you need to give this some time n remember how strong you are. you have a wonderfull family n husband n they will understand. all of them n us just want to help. you need to take a back seat for a while.

chin up lovely lady, your in my thoughts.

lots of love leonie xxxxxx

hi lee

aw i feel for you so much. really hoped you'd be like the others n not feel that bad. i hope it only lasts a short time for you.

i found after a week, week n half, i was feeling ok again. i did feel like you do, sick, head rushes with intense pain briefly n couldnt eat though was very hungry. you need to get some complan/or ensure for a start. its milkshake but with all the goodness you need. then at least your getting what you need food wise. get yourself some ginger biscuits aswell cos it helps with feeling sick n the awfull taste in your mouth. walk slower n get up slower cos im sure that can help too. other than that you just need to try different things n see what tastes nice to you.

its not nice to be ill lee. but we are. we want to carry on as normal cos its all we know n how we live our lives. but you need to give this some time n remember how strong you are. you have a wonderfull family n husband n they will understand. all of them n us just want to help. you need to take a back seat for a while.

chin up lovely lady, your in my thoughts.

lots of love leonie xxxxxx

Hi guys

felt a little better today, even had some toast for breakfast, will try the ginger biscuits and my mum has bought me some complan....so the battle continues! I'm trying to be positive its just the road ahead seams so long and the finish line so far away, some days I just feel like giving up....However! I wont and thanks to all of you I don't feel quite so alone.

God bless you all Lee xx

Hi Girls,

Well I have just finished my last radiotherpy treatment, so I am now sat here with a glass of something. Eight months ago when I was given my diagnosis and told that I would have to have an mastectomy, followed by chemo and radiotherapy, all I could see stretching ahead of me was unending hospital appointments and no glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Well today I walked out into the bright light (metaphorically speaking, as it's been absolutely pouring down with rain all day and still we have a hose pipe ban and what magic words they are. It's not stopped raining since they imposed it.) and feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

So what can I say girls, don't give up. It will pass, although you may not think so and that it feels like it's going on for ever, especially if you are suffering from some of those side effects.

What I need now is a holiday!

Patricia x

How wonderful for you - your treatment sounds the same as mine. I've only had 1 chemo so far but thats one less than this time last week. Have a wonderful holiday - roll on mine next year

Hi Lee,

Sorry to hear that you have been suffering with the side effects from the chemo. I found anything ginger helped me with nausea, ginger biscuits, ginger beer, ginger marmarlade. The last one helped me get those anti sickness pills down in the first three days. Are you having the neulasta injection, this causes a lot of the aches and pains, for me it felt like flu. Fortunately these symptoms only last for about a week at the most, the rest of the time it's okay. Just listen to your body and rest. I soon learnt that I was important, everything else could wait.

Patricia x

Dear Patricia

I'm shoo very happy you have come to the end of your treatments, its so nice to hear when people get through this, I have a packet of ginger nut biscuits at the side of the bed which I must admit really do help when I'm taking the tablets, I guess this is the worst week anyway I'm kind of expecting everything what with the white cell count being so low and the anxious wait for the hair to start falling out, I went to see the psychologist yesterday and found talking to someone about all this really helped(did a fair bit of crying though) anyway she made me realise that its ok to feel sad aslong as you remember this wont be forever, and hearing you have now finished has really cheered me up, I hope this wont be the last time we get to hear from you as you are now our inspiration.

Take care lots of love Lee xx

Hi Patricia, well done, congratulations and lots of love, you are such an inspiration and hopefully in another 6 months time this will be all over for myself too. I bet you cant wait for a holiday and thats actually a subject I was going to ask you girlies about. John is off to Turkey tonight with his little boy and I was supposed to e going to Spain with my friend for a girly week, anyway ive cancelled mine and wouldnt let john canel his as he works so hard and needs to take the wee guy away and spend time with him, anyway long story cut short, john not happy about leaving me and wants me to fly over at the weekend, but im apprehensive about infections etc, not felt as good this 2nd session round, sore mouth, bones, oh my period arrived (on time too), my hair is df falling out faster and more furiously Lee though i still have quite a bit but thin, i wear my little skip cap, anyway what do you guys think about going abroad during chemo? Col x

Hi Col,

To be honest I think I personally would be a bit dubious about going abroad during my chemo treatment. I am a scout leader and for the last six months I have taken time off from this and going to church with them once a month as the risk of sitting in close proximity to them (kids carry lots of infections) wasn't appealing and for me wasn't worth the risk of catching an infection. (Just realised that sentence makes me sound like I don't like kids, I love them but, of course, I couldn't eat a full one :D LOL). Anyway the same could be said for being sat around in the airport and on the plane. Then there could be the problem of insurance, this could be very expensive or you may not be able to get any as you are having treatment at the moment. Plus there could be delays and you may be late home for your next treatment. Also not wishing to scare you any further but after my recent experience of getting an infection and rushing to a hospital and being kept in for two days was frightening enough here in this country never mind abroad.

Personally I would ask myself if the risk was worth it and my answer would be no but that's your decision.

Patricia x

Hi Patricia

I totally agree with you, I've told him all the cons but he keeps coming up with pros lol.I will miss john but im sure it will fly by very quickly, i think he just feels bad about leaving me behind (even tho i wasnt going in the first place lol). My friend is going to come and stay for a few days and leave from work from mine etc and I have my girls and my mum and johns family too, think its just night time he's worried about me being alone plus he knows my hair is rapidly coming out and think he's worried that i'll get upset and that he wont be here to support me. Anyway we've just been to fuerteventura in march so its not as tho ive not had a holiday and we'll def get away at end of treatment for a week in the canaries. Its a wee shame, he's so sad about going and should be looking forward to it, im sure once he's there the 2 of them will have a laugh, lots of water sports and boys stuff that would just bore me anyway lol. Have a nice day, weather awful here.....again! need to get some food shopping so I dont starve whilst he's away. xx

hi patrica

it was so nice to read your message. finally you are finished n looking forward to a normal life again. i really hope you get that holiday. you definately deserve it.

i over did it tuesday n am still paying for it. what did i do? went food shopping thats all but walked instead of using the electric trolly. had a nightmare day yesterday aswell for treatment. 3 hours turned into 8 all because doctor didnt sign my persciption! rads start 2nd august.

be back in touch when i feel bit better. again, well done patrica, you got through it all. enjoy that light now you are out of the tunnel.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Leonie,

Sorry to hear that you have been having problems again. It really is true what they say, 'One day at a time' or in our case, 'One hour at a time'. Since I finished radiotherapy on Tuesday, I have been feeling more tired than normal, everything is an effort at the moment. I have had a couple of 'Can't be bothered' days. Now I do realise that the radiotherapy continues to work for two to three weeks after treatment finishes but I wonder if it's a case of my body has now gone 'Thank god for that, I can now rest!', because realistically I've no need to set the alarm to get up in the morning and the calender is empty and doesn't look like a spider has crawled all over it. I noticed a comment by someone on another post about how we perhaps expect to much from our bodies in this 24/7 world we live in, which reminded me of an article that makes very interesting reading.

www.cancercounselling.org.uk/.../WebResHarvey

We had a BBQ last weekend which to be honest, I didn't do a great deal. I was in charge of the food and being a cook I'm afraid won't let any man take charge of the barbie LOL, no way am I going to be ill with food poisioning after everything else I've been through :grin: By the end of the day I was knackered, my feet and back were killing me (every time I got myself a chair someone else sat on it, even my mum!) We did have a good time not the best weather as you will have seen on the news for the north west, although the sun did eventually shine in the afternoon and all the men/boys managed a game of football and I thought I was unfit! hahahahahaha

But that's my point, I look in the mirror and I look fine, everyone says how well I'm looking. BBQ? yeah easy, that's my job can do it standing on my head! No I can't, it nearly put my lights out! In some ways we don't realise just what all this treatment has put our bodies through. I was anticipating going back to work in September but to be honest the way I'm feeling at the moment I'm not to sure and this brings me back to 'One day at a time'.

Phew! now that I've finished therorising, how are you today? My doctor forgot to sign the perscription a couple of times but fortunately the nurses at the chemo unit were quick on the ball. How's that lad of yours doing?

Take care and don't forget, don't be hard on yourself.

Patricia x