Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.

Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!

Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.

Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.

Take care and hope you are all ok

love Lou

Well said Lou,

There are so many of us on this site now .Good luck and bless you all and the lovely people who care for us.

Rose xxx

Hi Rose

Yes I do feel a lot more relaxed now, and that is thanks to all of you, my surgeon is really pleased with my more positive approach and when I explained how I had met you guys online he asked for the website so he could recommend it to future patients.

I promise as soon as I go bald I shall post a picture 1st with my hair 2nd with no hair and then 3rd with wig hair, there has been some laughter today trying on the different wigs I didnt realise how different a hair style can change your appearance Ive been so boring all my life having the same style ...so heres to a new me x

Lots of love lee

Hope this isnt shouting he he x

Thanks everyone for your kind comments - much appreciated.

My little girl had a friend home for tea this afternoon, and she asked if she could see my hair. I took my bandana off, and she stroked my little fluffy head so gently.

I felt like a pet rabbit!

You're all doing so well. Its wonderful that we have this forum to give each other help and support.

Keep going everyone - stay positive

Much love

Shents

hi girls

well we had a right weekend of it. saturday lunch a kid knocks on the door, liams broken his leg or something! we called an ambulance. oh god whats happened?! jon goes to car, wouldnt start. so off he ran. liams crying n got a hole in his leg jon said. he fell off a branch he was sitting on not very high up, then a broken 1 stuck in his leg. his mate had to lift his leg up to get it off the branch. so jon runs home then to garage to get a new battery n tries to run home again. ambulance takes liam hospital n we follow once mum n dad arrives n key was working. jon is knackered on drive over!

so anyway, doctor said he would have to go to surgery. needed to make sure it was clean n try to close it up. after a few hours they move him to kid ward. liams being wheeled in his bed n heres me in wheel chair following him. what a sight! 7pm n he still hadnt gone down for op. then we were told he wouldnt be going down til about 10. not ideal for me to stay in hospital with infections n ill people so jon drove me home. so i had charly to look after with dylans help n jon goes back to hospital to stay with liam. 3 nts they were in! luckily he was a good little boy, til mon after nursery. then he was a right mardy ******! liam went for 2nd op on mon n luckily hadnt tore any tendons n had it stitched up. it was size of a golf ball n inch n half deep, tore through his muscle but should be fine as it heels. hes been a soldier n handled it all so well. but ive been stressed, worried n very tired. feeling better today apart from 'the legs'. jon however, is dead knackered after 3 nts of hospital. we are back there tomorrow to sort out about rads. dylan went to school today only to call up about 11, i feel sick mum. oh not something else!

so as you can imagine, we are hoping for a quiet weekend. might not get it like, but still hoping. hows you lot doing then? i hope treatment is going well for you all. patrica? where are you? miss you we do! anyway take care all of you.

lots of love leonie xxxx

hi lee

my how you have come along since you joined! you sound like youre in a place where you can deal with it all n im so thankful for that. you said before you wanted to write words of wisdom to help others n you have. you have a story to tell just like the rest of us.

it would be so nice to meet all the ladies n tony 1 day. but some are up in scotland n northern areas n im in cornwall so god knows where we would meet! hopefully 1 day.

about the hair thing, think we all hoped we would be the 1% that didnt lose it. you even believe it a bit! you know even now it shocks me sometimes when i look in the mirror. i dont do it very often without something on my head. i still dont like it. i dont look n think thats alright. as ive said before, my ears stick out which dont help the baldness! i even think about hair colour then remember i havent got any. dont feel bad if you dont like it, just try n forget about it n dont keep looking in the mirror. you will look lovely in your wig, though dont know how comfortable it will be.

ive been trying to upload a pic on here, spent a few hours trying to. it wont upload my pic, any idea how we can do it? mum even tried doing it from desktop but that didnt work either.

anyway glad youre doing well. lots of love leonie xxxx

Hi Leonie & girlies& Tony

Gosh Leonie you have had your hands full, glad your wee boy is doing well and fingers crossed for you that you guys have a quiet weekend with no mishaps. I'm feeling goo, go for 2nd chemo next wednesday, my hair is now coming out when brushing it, mostly from underneath at the back and most of the hair is dark so must be coming right form the roots as i dye my hair blonde (let the fun begin lol, also starting to lose my body hair from you know where). I don't fancy baldy patches all over my head, but here i go again but does it fall out in clumps or does it just come away gradually in my brush? as i dont fancy baldy patches, think that makes people look ill, if it continues just to thin then fine, im just so anti shaving it, i really am i know that sounds weird and i may have to but it frightens me lol. any advise? Col

Hey Col

My hair 'thinned' in the same way you describe - gradually coming out with brushing. Some hair absolutely refused to give up, though, so I ended up looking like Bobby Charlton for quite a while. After a couple more chemos, it had thinned to such an extent that I was just about bald.

I got a bic razor out just after the last chemo, and just gently shaved the remaining bits of hair off so that when my hair grew back it would all come in at the same time. I was like you - I didn't fancy the idea of getting it shaved off early on - I strangely felt quite loyal towards the bits of hair that had clung on for dear life! Daft, I know!

Just remember Colly - this is temporary. Your hair will grow back, so try not to get down about it. Its horrible at the time, I know, but it is temporary.

You're doing really well, and so's everyone else on here - despite our kids' mishaps!

Much love

shents

Colly,

I am sure you will get loads of advice and shaving your head gets people in so may different ways....one good positive position is, I have heard some ladies say that they felt liberated when they had shaved their head....obviously a different train of thought!

It always breaks my heart to hear you ladies talking about your hair and losing it as I know how important it is to you - me I love a skinhead, it takes me back to my late 70s and 80s youth when many of the girls shaved their heads.

Stay cool.

Much Love

Tony xx

oh shents, youve got such a way with words. you had me n jon laughing our heads off!

sorry to say col but i did get some clumps. i also had some stubborn little patches that refussed n still got them now. i went bald from front backwards, but still have hair round my neckline. i also have loads of new hairs that are about an inch long; like my dad on his bald patch! i used clippers on my head, but if i was you, i'd leave it about an inch long so it doesn't irritate. otherwise, love, just leave it till youre ready.

lots of love

leonie

Thanks Sinead, i know im being such a wally about it, weird how we worry more about our hair than the chemo. XX

Thanks to you also Tony x

Thanks to you also Tony x

hi Girls and Tony

I identify with the thinning of the hair Col and Sinead - I had a similar experience and hated it. Strangely though once it all went , I was left with a few strands here and there and got the scissors on it. Whilst I was moulting I had urges to brush and it would all come out in clumps. Body hair also came out first, lol. Once it was all out it was a relief to be honest.

Good on you all for being so strong - great website this - also I have a question wonder if anyway can answer. Period decided to reappear after not seeing it for months??!! It didn't feel nice - was used to it not coming.I had thought I wouldn't get it at all and once I start tamoxifen that should put me on the early menopause??? I am not due to start it yet - once all operations have been done will start it 4 weeks after that.

I try to keep up with the posts as best can - got daughter's friend coming round later for tea - hope the weather picks up before then.

Take care you all, Liz