hi im 36 mother of 3 n diagnosed dec 23. ive had 2 ops n 5 of 6 chemo n finding it very hard at mo. feel so peed off n cant get rid of that feeling. would love to chat. x
im on a slow mend, platelets went up enough for treatment yesterday n im allowed out when up to it. nose bleeds stopped but still darent touch my nose. mouth feels much better though teeth cleaning is still sore. energy levels are up slightly, hoovered 2 rooms the other day! but legs n arms still dont like much at all, especially the legs.
had my 1st day out in weeks fri n went beach with charly n my dog. jon dropped me down there so only walked on beach but bloody tide was right out. charly was so happy as we splashed in the rockpools n casey was running about. walked down to the sea as casey was running in n out, charly wanted to run to it n was pulling my arm but by that time my legs were killing n obviously no bench in sight. luckily jon turned up then after finding parking space n i sat on our bag. it knackered me but was such a normal n lovely time. we (jon) made a sand pit for charly in the back garden but its massive, so much sand!
just got charly funding for 15 hours a week for 6 weeks n shes gonna sort out more for after that. its gonna help so much n charly gets to play with other kids. went to truro this morning for app with psychiatrist, got there only to find its not today. get home n hospital have phoned, only missed my app to sort out rads didnt i. see, i do need a loony doc! my mind is still so confussed, but mentally i feel so much stronger. hit a very low point after no 3 chemo, n thought id better learn how to cope through rest of it. thing is it takes so long to sort out app, then you start to feel better n it dont seem worth going. only had half hour with him so far n got app next week. im sure its the chemo that makes you so down, n of course all the side affects. til then i coped really well. but no new cell growth surely means seritonium (cant spell but mean happy brain chemicals) levels are reduced? in my case, felt like they dried up!
could do with a bit of advise if anyone understands it. had app last week with oncology doc n i asked him when i would get the all clear. he told me i wont get it. he said that after ops i should of been cancer free n i shouldnt of needed chemo etc but they give it you to give you the best chance. that i underdstand. but he said they dont do ct scan etc n even if there was a blood test n it shown upthere was a cancer cell, would you want to know that you could get liver cancer in 3 years?! what a question! so basically i just got to check n keep n eye on myself. it doesnt feel very comforting. im sure ive heard others say about 'all clear'. or is that certain types of cancer? mine is her2 stage 3 invasive. im hoping the yearly checks at bc clinic will make me more at ease with it all. or do i get an all clear from them if of course i am all clear? i just dont understand it. jon seemed to take it possitive, well youre cancer free now he said. but i waned a banner up on my house saying 'i beat cancer' n a party to celebrate. how do you celebrate when your on the look out every day.
anyway said enough, but still got so much in my head. maybe i'll get it down when im less confussed. patrica im so glad rads went well for you today n hope you stay well on them. you too shents, think you are a really nice person n best of luck with your treatment. i'll be back on soon to talk to you all.
Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.
Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!
Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.
Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.
I often see people on here so down and they have good right to be, however you ladies really support each other...if okay I will steer people towards this forum to get some TLC and great advice.
I had a lumpectomy over a year ago followed by radiotherapy approx 15 sessions 1 every day for a 3 week period, the sessions are really short and there maybe some skin irritation after a week or so but its not too bad and they have lots of creams, lotions and potions to help ease any discomfort, I was then given the all clear only to find 6 months later there was another lump right next to where the old one was, this time I had to have a mastectomy and all my lymph nodes removed with a Lflap reconstruction at the same time.........over 7 hours in theatre. I now face the sorrow of having chemo and loosing all my hair which has always been my crowning glory, anyway what I want to say to you is whilst 9 months seems an eternity to you at the moment it really isn't that long, from start to present day i have been dealing with cancer since January 2009 and the time has flown by, you have a very important journey to make over the coming months and you will have good days and you will have bad days but rest assured you will never have alone days, we will all be here for you, and instead of worrying about your looks think about having the chance to experiment with different looks, like I intend to do. I cant change the future but I can mould it to suit me and so can you and just maybe you will find this a real confidence boost cos believe me when we all get through this we will all be stronger and wiser women. I haven't seen many photos of the ladies here but I already feel I am surrounded by such beauty and this beauty cannot be altered through illness or treatment, this beauty emulates from within, so find your inner beauty girl and stay strong and when you feel weak come to us for a little booster its worked wonders for me . Lee xxxxxxxx
thanks for your message, means a lot from someone like you. we would try n help anyone who needed it. wanted to message you to say thank you for replying to me in my dark days, n say what a lovely person you must be to help the amount of people you do. just wonderful what you do. hope youre feeling well, take care.
Hi girls hope this finds you all well. Just a wee quick question and I know the answer will be different from everyone, but anyway 'How far into your chemo did your hair start falling out'? Col x
We are all lovely people, I got my fair share of help and still am getting it on my thread....
Reading these stories makes us all part of a very special club...not one particularly that we want to be in but hey we may as well bond and make some great mates along the way....one day we will all meet up down the pub and have a real proper group hug.
Hi Leonie thanks, i'll just keep checking the pillow lol. Was up at hospital earlier as my glands felt swollen under my left arm, but lymph nodes removed under right arm and started to worry, anyway doc had a feel about and said i shouldnt worry prob the chemo making the nerve endings tender, but i dunno im feelin a bit strange about it all. I feel even though my consultant has removed lump and lymph nodes and said his margins are clear, i should still have had a ct scan? Did any of you guys have a ct scan before chemo and if so was it because your consultant knew it had spread? Col x
