Hi Lonie,

I had breast cancer 3 years ago and had 6months of chemo,mastectomy,3more months of chemo and 5 weeks radio

so I know what you are going through.All the things you feel are perfectly O.K.It is a lot to handle and you have a busy time with your children to cope with as well.It is the uncertainty that I found hard to deal with and the change of lifestyle.I tried to resist the change but once I accepted that I could watch daytime T.V on bad days without feeling guilty and hoover less often I felt calmer.Try to do what you must and accept help,People really like to feel wanted and like to help.Don.t be hard on yourself.The tiredness and lack of sleep makes things seem worse but it will pass and you will get stronger .Keep chatting on here and try to spend half an hour on yourself ,going for a walk or gardening or just having a chat to a neighbour .You will get there !!! love R xxxx

thank you for your reply. am feeling less peed off today thank god. was sorry to hear what youve been through but glad it was 3 years ago, means its worked for you i hope anyway. yeah uncertainty isnt a nice feeling n you cant be possitive constant. its always in your mind 'what if it dont work' but even though its tough chemo is worth the try. im just glad its me n not 1 of my kids or hub or close family not because im brave but because i know i can cope with it being me n wouldnt if it was 1 of them. dont envy my hub poor sod. we only been married 2 n half years n have 2 year old n 2 teens from previous, its a lot for him to cope with. he does brilliantly but hes not the best house wife! still learning. you know its made me feel so much better having 2 replies n being able to talk about it. thanks for your kindness. lonie xx

Hi Patricia, hope this finds you well today, yeah Consultant did say all thais to me, but I've heard of so many people who have had mastectomies, lymph nodes removed and just radiation, all very confusing, and like you because 'I'm young' lol this is the best cure, suppose I just need to get on with it, take 7 months out of my life and get over this. I live in a town called East Kilbride which is about 10 miles from glasgow there are no wig shops here so I need to go into glasgow to have a look, John and I going in friday, should be lots of laughter and tears, he wants me to get a black afro, ive said i will if he does lol. Got hair appointment 14th june 3 days before chemo starts, so i'll prob get a short bob to start with and take it from there, the thiness I might be able to handle, but not baldy patches, that would be awful, anyway my mum coming up in half an hour and im still sitting in my jammies, i should really move myself. Take care, catch up soon xx

Hi Colly and girls,

I too had 3 months chemo and 5 weeks radio after mastectomy.Apparently it is in case a cell or two has managed to slip through so zap it before it causes trouble.

Go mad and have a funky wig,mine was better than my own hair and I saved a fortune on shampoo and hair dye.!!!I think there is a maggies center in Edinburgh,they are really good and can help with make up,relaxation and fill in forms.They are all free .We have one in Swansea that I go to and it is good to meet others in the same boat as you.

hope your treatment goes well. Rose. xxxx

Thanks Rose, everything about chemo/radio etc just confuses me, but I'm sure i'll soon learn. Thaks for the tips xx

Thanks Rose, everything about chemo/radio etc just confuses me, but I'm sure i'll soon learn. Thanks for the tips xx

hi colly n troops

its tough all this cancer lark n very confussing. its all unknown territory n as awfull as it is u do get used to it. i take each stage as it comes n find out about the next when i need to. as for having chemo, its the best they have to offer n gives you the best chance. you dont want any left n even contemplate going through it again. got to think about how we would all feel if surgery was the only option!? before you start try n get your head round it cos it will be a lot harder once you start chemo .

i like you was terrified about losing my hair. thought it would be the hardest part for me. had it cut to chin lenght bob before new year then cut short longer at front a couple weeks before chemo to try to get used to it (hated it though). then did the 'brave thing' as you call it, n shaved it off. its not nice having such a change in the mirror etc, but the worst is being so cold. you see, theres more to it than just the vanity side. i couldnt wash n dry my old hair, havent got the energy.

my cancer is her2, too much protein n a nasty ******. had 16 lymphnodes with tumour out of 24. i didnt n wasnt advised to have a mastectomy, like you. its my last chemo on thurs. spoke to doc today n they said more you have the harder it is on the body. at least i know now its normal to feel like i do. ive just tried to go along n not find out about next week n really try to not think about the whole process really. its different for everyone as you must of heard a million times.

really enjoy having people to talk to n so glad we have this page now. my family are so suportive n i adore them but need to talk to you guys. takes your mind off yourself too n you know your normal, ish anyway! will post tomorrow before my last chemo! must reply to patrica, shes perked me up that lady. take care n our thoughts are with you through this hard time.

love leonie xx

Hi Lonie and all you other brave lot on this post,

Its been nice to read all your thoughts on here.

Just wanted to say that I had my last chemo a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't expect to, but I cried my eyes out when the nurse said - 'well, that's it!'

I guess it must have been a whole mixtures of emotions - with relief being the biggest one of all.

I really do feel that someone has lifted a massive weight off my shoulders. Tonight, I have glugged and thoroughly enjoyed my first couple of glasses of sparkly, and on Saturday I am taking the family away for a much needed break in Scotland before the radio starts.

I am also drinking to the fact that there is news of a vaccine for breast cancer on its way. Hoorah for these wonderful scientists because if they can help prevent our daughters and grand-daughters from getting this bloody awful thing in the future, then won' t that be just fantastic.

Good luck and best wishes to you all, and Lonie - enjoy the moment tomorrow when your nurse says, 'well that's it!'

Shents x

Dear Shents,Go girl !!!!! Well done.Hope you sail through the radio,as I have said before the worse part for me was finding a parking space every day.

The best of luck to you. Rose xxxx

hi patrica

i hope youre feeling well n the infection has gone. did you get to see your grandson n spoil him rotten with love ect? i hope you had a lovely time.

im finding it very hard to type, started the dreaded steroids. the roids as we call them. last 1 tomorrow n im scared about how its gonna make me feel. dont feel great now n been told it gets harder on your body. it hurts to walk n makes me so tired n im grotty with the youngest. all boys like you but hes such hard work n dont play with toys, just everything else! before i had days when i felt okish n now every day is a struggle. i dont think about cancer as much as i did at the start but you cant get away from how you feel physically. i dont know how to anyway. been told about 2 months before energy levels get better n walking easier. but they said i will be well enough to go abroad with hub n kids oct for our 1st proper family holiday. even think my brother n girls are coming for a week. something to look forward to finally. i cant wait til feb n this is all over n im me again. just like us all ey!

glad all better with your son n he was nice to you after your tiff. we need a bit of tlc. could see n feel strain on hub so we had to have words. hes been great but its like he forgot im still ill. wish i could. im gonna stop wingeing to you. its took hour n half to write this n yes i am also a 1 finger girl. anyway lots of love i'll be in touch. enjoy your last few days before your last chemo wont you.

leonie xxx

Hi Leonie,

Yep, the infection has cleared up, thank goodness. I did manage to get to Southport and spent a lovely few hours with my grandson. We cuddled up on the sofa and watched Dr. Who together, that was special. He's eight now and I take evey cuddle I can get, cause I know they won't last forever, except in my memory.

Good luck with your last chemo tomorrow. Chin up, just think it's only a matter of days before you'll be back on the road to normality. You've done 5, only this last 1 to go, you can do it! Just think no more roids! We women are strong you know. I do feel for you at the moment with the kids being on half term and your little one into everything, are you getting any help at the moment?

My last chemo is on the 8th June, am so counting the days. I am dreading having bloods taken on the 7th though as my veins have decided to play hide and seek. They hide and the nurse seeks!

I have been given a date for my rads. I go on the 14th June for CT scans and start on 29th June for 3 weeks.

Something to make you smile. I have a partial denture which on Saturday on my way home from Southport driving the car decided to remove as my mouth was a bit sore and placed on my lap, no problem there. I arrived home at about 10.00 p.m. went in the house and went to bed. Sunday afternoon decided that I needed to go and do some shopping, couldn't find my denture (I tend not to wear it in the house as it irriates me after a while) then remembered the car. Went to see, nope not there. Then I found it, on the road, it had been run over by a car!!!! Try explaining that to the dentist. My son has already banned me from wearing dangally ear rings as I wear a scarf rather than a wig as he says it makes me look like a pirate. Myself I think it's more like the Gypsy Rose Lee look. Anyway what with the headscarf, earrings, missing tooth, all I need now is the eye patch and I could win first prize in a fancy dress competition They say bad luck comes in threes, surely I've had my three disasters by now.

Hey, I don't care if you winge, that's what were all here for to support each other through the bad times and enjoy with you the good times.

Once again good luck for tomorrow and don't forget to put a big tick on that calendar!

Patricia x

P.S. After just reading the last two posts I now have a vision in my head of Dopey from the seven dwarfs, sorry lol xx

lol Patricia, I thought only things like that happened to me! I certainly will look like dopey x

lol Patricia, I thought only things like that happened to me! I certainly will look like dopey x