Hi to you all on this post and to the original Lonie

I'm 37 and mum of 4 and was diagnosed at end of Feb 2010 and found a week later its spread to liver and bones. I have struggled just like you so hard trying to be the normal mum and keep the kids lifes normal. Have you got help around you because I'v just had my third fec chemo and said to my partner that we can't do this on our own we have got to take all the help that is being from family, friends even neighbours!

Like you said the treatment is grotty but is hopefully going to make you well andin my case keep my situation under control but its all uncertainties!!! Please keep chatting on here because we are in a similar situation with a young family.

Love Lou

dear lou

started a message to you on sunday then had visitors n my son lost it. so sorry i havent replied since.

cor whats hapened to you is terrible. what a shock. wish you all the best with your treatment n my thoughts are with you n your family. all these diseases are so awful. hoping to be well enough next month to start fundraising. just want to raise loads to help them find a cure n once they find 1 they'll find them all. stop others having this life stopping illness.

my mums not been well but shes much better now so will be getting some help with little 1. hope you are being looked after n getting the help you need. patrica has said theres help availible at the hospice. think i'll look into it. maybe you should to.

gonna have to go, so tired just couldnt let another day past. take care love leonie xx

dear lou

started a message to you on sunday then had visitors n my son lost it. so sorry i havent replied since.

cor whats hapened to you is terrible. what a shock. wish you all the best with your treatment n my thoughts are with you n your family. all these diseases are so awful. hoping to be well enough next month to start fundraising. just want to raise loads to help them find a cure n once they find 1 they'll find them all. stop others having this life stopping illness.

my mums not been well but shes much better now so will be getting some help with little 1. hope you are being looked after n getting the help you need. patrica has said theres help availible at the hospice. think i'll look into it. maybe you should to.

gonna have to go, so tired just couldnt let another day past. take care love leonie xx

Hi leonie and everyone else on this post.

Not been on for a couple of days. We all went to a wedding on Saturday to the service and everything and I was dreading it but we ended up having such a good time and for the first time forgot about the 'C'.

Anyway its so comforting reading everyones posts and getting some fighting sprit!!! I just wanted to say that having the fight does help and yesterday I had a phone call from the hospital with some good news from a scan I had Monday. There has been no more spreading and it has stabilised in the existing areas and that just after 3 chemos with 3 more to go! My bc nurse said she couldn't let me wait til I next see consultant and encouraged me to see this as a positive. Feel like I'v reached a first milestone and the feeling rubbish and tired is so worth it!! Given me a boost and hope will help motivate all of you!!!!

We will all reach these milestones aat different times and can share both the ups and downs with each other knowing that we are all rooting for each other.

Take care

Love Lou

Hi there everyone

I just want to thank you all for giving me inspiration and hope, I have read and re-read all your chats and whilst I'm terribly sad there are other women going through such pain It is very helpfull to see how they cope.

I myself am 42yrs old and have had secondary breast cancer inside a year after having a lumpectomy Feb 2009. In May this year I had to have a mastectomy 1 week after my return from my honeymoon(not a great way to start married life hey!) anyway I was fortunate enough to have a reconstruction at the same time using the Lflap, the last three weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for both myself and my husband. I seem to cry so easily at the moment which is most unlike me and now I have been told I will be starting fec chemo in 2 weeks and will definately loose my long blonde locks!! why should that be the worst thing .....how vain well reading your notes have really helped me to come to terms with what is going on so thankyou all so very much and I would very much like to chat to each and every one of you as you all sound such strong and wonderful women.

sincerely Lee xx

Hi Lee

Really nice to hear from you, but so sorry to hear your news. I take it that the photo is of you at your wedding! You look absolutely fab - I can see why you'll be upset to lose your hair - but it'll come back! Having finished FEC chemo 5 weeks ago, my hair is making a brave comeback and is now 3mm long. My consultant (a lovely young Indian chap) kept saying to me 'this is all temporary ma'am, all temporary.' He's right. The chemo is hard work, but you'll get through it, and your hair will return!

I'm slightly younger than you (41!) and have written a blog throughout my chemo - its really helped me get through, and has also helped to keep all my friends across the globe keep up to date with what's going on. I can recommend keeping some sort of diary or blog - it has helped me to stay focused. If you'd like to have a look at mine, the address is www.keepyerhairon.blogspot.com

I hope my little stories demonstrate that, whilst hard at times, life doesnt have to stop when you've been diagnosed with breast cancer - you can just get on with it, and hopefully in your case, enjoy your new life as a wife!

I hope your new husband is a good support to you, and that your chemo goes ok. Keep us posted and we'll help in any way that we can.

Best wishes to you

shents

PS Don't worry about the crying thing - its getting a bit of a joke in my family now with me just crying at the drop of a hat....oh, and then there's also the shouting thing - I've been quite good at that too...all normal I'm told!

Hello there

Thankyou for your quick response, its so lovely to be able to talk to people that have been through or are going through what I am, all at once I don't feel alone or totally crazy My husband is struggling at the moment he doesnt now how to cope with my crying at apparently nothing! and feels he is being blamed all the time which I have assured him he isn't, but night time seems to be the worse time for me and I feel like I've cheated him out of a so called beautiful bride!!.

Now he has a wife with lob sided breasts and about to go bald, whilst I realise this is irrational thinking I cant help but feel that way at times.

I do have good days where I can smile and I try really hard to be positive around him and my family and this is definately helping being able to talk over my thoughts and fears.

Thanyou once again

Lee xx

Hello, we all have times like these..... dont be so hard on yourself, you are going through a difficult time at the moment but it will get easier as you heal and get the all clear which i am sure you will.

I love your picture by the way, you are a beautiful lady.

Debbie.

Hi there Debbi

thankyou so much, you have made me smile and it does make me feel more positive now that I have found this network of wonderful women

Sincerely Lee xx

Hi lee

Just wanted to wish you all the best with your chemo and the actually process of your hair coming out is worse than when it is out. I too am 42 and had fec, undergone mastectomy and reconstruction and have very unequal breasts at the moment but hey ho. I'm currently waiting for uplift(hehehe) and reduction on the other one. There are a great group of women and men who are going through similar / same here and I'm sure someone will be able to identify / assist in helping answer any worries.

Just wanted to wish you all the best. Chin up and stay strong...Liz

Hi there Fifi

Your story sound identical to mine - I too will require a reduction in the good breast once all is clear and the other breast has settled, I actually feel a little guilty at looking forward to having small pert breasts( gosh is that so wrong?) The chemo still feels so unreal at the moment and I keep running my fingers through my hair wondering what it will feel like to be bald, well I shall take each day 1 day at a time for now, thanks for your message and keep well,

Lee xxxxxx

hi lee

i agree what a beautiful lady you are n a personality to match. what an awful time for you n your new hub. my heart goes out to you both.

i felt i'd cheated my hub, what a nightmare for him to sort out n cope with. but we cant help being ill, thing is, they cant too. its a horrible cycle but gets easier in time. n my hub still fancies me. bald n all! n tells me hes still glad he married me. its so hard for them cos they just want to help n dont want to see us so down. bless em'.

look forward to talking to you, though sorry at the same time. head up lovely lady.

love leonie xxx

Hi Lee i too had beautiful long blonde hair, but recently got it cut short as i know over the next 2-3 weeks my hair will start to fall out, i just had my first chemo session on wednesday passed, felt sick the day after but feel ok yest and today. I had a lumpectomy and all lymph nodes removed in may. Ive only been with my partner just under 2 years and he has been amazing, with me every step of the way, he obviously has his bad days too but he knows if the tables were turned, id be by his side holding his hand too, as for my breast well it doesnt look too bad at all, 2 scars which will disappear and john says its part of my journey and at least im here alive and well, i've picked a lovely long blonde wig and there are loads out there to choose from, i got a couple of really nice skip hats from monsoon, so as much as im dreading the hair loss process and i know will never have the guts to get it shaved the way some women can, i know once it grows back in i can start colouring it again and getting my life back, as my consultant says, take 9 months out your life and get better and thats what i intend to do, keep posting your story on here as we love to read them. Take care Col x