Hi Hothead

Thanks so much for replying to my original post.  Can`t believe its over a year ago!! Since then have had chemo, mastectomy, radio and now on monthly infusions of zometa for my bones, I`m guessing thats what you`re on too along with your chemo.  I also lost my dear mum to cancer last year so as you can imagine I was very pleased to see the back of 2010!!!

I was really lucky and coped very well with chemo etc...was able to work throughout treatment, though I did take it a little easier, infact I seem to be more tired now than I was during all the treatment!  Have heard that both Tamoxifen and Zometa can make you tired and achey. As well as very hot n sweaty (really attractive!!!).

It sounds like your treatment schedule is very different to mine ~ I haven`t had any rads to my mets in my back, only to my chest after mastectomy and I`ve only had one bone scan so  I don`t know if mets have shrunk or not.  My onc just said that `it is what it is` and there was no point having another scan.  Whilst i don`t like having the scans (coz my veins are wrecked from chemo and they have to try loads of times before they can get a needle in), it would be nice to know if the mets have shrunk. Are you having op and rads like me after your chemo?  I`m very pleased to say that my hair is really growing back now, never had short hair before but its a godsend in this heat!! Don`t think I`ll grow it as long as I used to have it.

I live up in North Yorks, fab place but quite a way from Manchester though I know what you mean; I go for lots of girlie lunches too and grab life a little more eagerly than before.  We`re gonna be moving house in the next couple of months and hope to start a B & B which I could run alongside my other business.  I`ve never been one to let the grass grow, but this has given me a real kick up the backside to get on and do stuff instead of dithering!

Wish you all the very best with the rest of your treatment.  Let me know how it goes

Kal xxxxx

Hi Maki

Thanks for replying, its difficult to believe that that was a year ago! It was a very tuff year in which I also lost my mum but 2010 is  behind me now.  After the initial shock I`ve been able to get on with my life, didn`t let the treatment stop me running my business or riding my horse ~ nothing will ever stop me doing that!

I`m so sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed too its very early days for you yet and yes your emotions go on the most horrendous rollercoaster ride but it does get better, alot better.  The strange language of chemo drugs, operations and radiotherapy becomes familiar and less scary and coming on here helps to realise that you`re not on your own at all.  I found that keeping busy and carrying on as normally as possible was the best therapy ~ it proves to yourself all the time that this thing is not going to change your life.  I vowed to myself right at the beginning that this thing was not even going to slow me down, let alone stop me doing anything.

I guess you won`t know yet what treatment you will have but the only advice I can give is to take everything they offer.  During my chemo I used to imagine it going into every cell and zapping the cancer as it went, willing it to seek out every last little bit of this s****y thing.  Hopefully you won`t even have to have chemo ~ I know a couple of people who didn`t, they just had lump removed.

Your hubby sounds lovely and your boys will help you to stay strong for them.  If I can help in any way please  just ask. 

Keep in touch and let me know how you get on.

Very best wishes, Kal xx

Hi kal,

I hope you don't mind me responding to your first message but I'm new to this site, I won't type hundreds just now as I'm not sure you're still accessing messages.  My bone scan results are tomorrow, the rest of your story almost mirrorrs mine.

Get back in touch if you need a friendly ear

Susan x

Hi Susan

Just checked my emails during Downton break and picked up your message.  I don`t come on to the site very often but I do respond when I get notifications.  I`m so sorry to hear your going through it too.  It`s a terrible time ~ waiting for results, but it may well be that it hasn`t spread, I hope so much for you that it hasn`t. 

On a positive note, I`m 18 months on from diagnosis and feel fine.  We`ve moved house and I`m working full time, riding my horse as much as ever and doing everything I did before and more!  My hair has grown back though not as long yet as it was.

Are you married? Have children? I hope you have someone close to help you through.

It`s really kind and very selfless of you to offer a friendly ear when you`re going through the mill yourself.  Would love to hear from you, hopefully I can be of some help to you as you go through treatment etc...

I`ll be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed.

Kal xx

Hi Kal,

Thanks for your reply, my results are back and i have to say i uttered "thank god" when i got them, you won't believe this but the shadows are actually where I have fractured my spine (in 2 places), I actually fell in May and thought I'd just hurt my back badly and it was taking a bit of time to heal, however a couple of months ago I decided to get back in the saddle and start riding again - I don't have my own horse but went to a local stables.  I was getting back into it and decided a wee canter would be ok, but I came down hard in the saddle (maybe my rhythm wasn't quite right after all) and again jarred my back, so that didn't help.  Now I'm afraid I'm restricted to walking and swimming for a while - oh well, such as life.

Do you have your own horse then?

I have a partner and 2 grown up daughters (as well as my mum and a few aunties who are more like my sisters) so I'm quite lucky, kids are 19 and 21, - how about you?,

Hope alls well, Keep in touch

S x

Hi Susan

Thanks for letting me know your results, I`m sooo pleased and relieved for you, waiting for results is such an awful time. But you are free of this thing, so onwards and upwards. That`s amazing that you had fractured your back and didn`t know!

Are you still going through bc treatment or is that all behind you now? I have to go for a monthly infusion for my bone problem and 3 monthly check ups with my onc (next one due tomorrow).  Its always an anxious time because not only do i have the bone problem but have also been told I`m at a high risk of recurrence!  He always gives me a thorough check so fingers crossed all will continue to be ok.

I`m feeling fine and living life normally.

Yes, I`m lucky enough to have my own horse, he`s an ex~racehorse, we`re not able to compete anymore as at the age of 19 he`s a little stiff but we enjoy hacking out and he still behaves like a three year old at times!!!  The rest of my family consists of chickens, cats and a labrador never got round to having children though I`m very close to my nieces ~ they`re similar ages to your children 18 & 20.  Their mum left them and my brother when they were young so they turn to me or my sister for girlie advice.  I`m particularly close to the older one and very lucky to have such a special relationship.  They live nearby too so I see them often.

My wonderful partner, Ian, has two very lovely grown up children who we see from time to time.

My Dad`s still with us (quite literally!) infact he`s staying with us at the moment but sadly I lost my mum almost exactly a year ago.

Good to hear your news, I hope you`re back in the saddle again soon.

Love Jx

Hi kal,

Firstly good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure everything will be fine - fingers crossed for you.

I have a  dog too, a wee cocker spaniel (my baby), she's 9 now and been through the mill the same as me over the last year.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Nov last year, by the beginning of Dec she was diagnosed with mouth cancer, I had surgery in Dec, she went in in Jan and had half her lower jawbone removed (you wouldn't know it, she looks great, a bit of a messy drinker but nothing more), I had my chemo which was uneventful (as uneventful as chemo can be I suppose, i try not to look back on that), I was going through my radio therapy and came home from my second last session to find her out of sorts and looking quite poorly and in a wee pool of blood in her bed, rushed her into the vet, i was going through my final radio the next day and she was having an emergency hysterectomy.  You know it's only when you actually write all this down that you realise how much you go through eh?  At the time I just kept on rolling with it all, think someone must have put steel in my spine.  Alls well now though.

I worked through all my treatment until the last week of radio where I was just too knackered to keep going, I started back to work last week, 3 days for this month as I had holidays to use up, easing myself in gently.

Like I mentioned I have 2 lovely daughters, and 2 step-children, also the same age so pretty much grown up and doing their own thing.  My partner has a cat and I'm sure all hell will break loose next year when we get married and become a happy one home family with cat and dog, they obviously see each other when we go and stay and they accept each other - the animals that is, the kids all get on fine, we've been together for 14 years (and still don't live together) since the kids were small so they've been brought up together.

That's pretty much life in a  nutshell really - although I'm sure we could chat for ages, my "talent" if I'm honest.

Which part of the world are you in then, I've chatted with a couple of lovely folk on this site but mostly they're from down south - down south of Scotland that is.

Keep in touch

S x

Hey im very sorry to hear all thats you have been through and going through im 27th and i had breast cancer for 2 this April i am married before i got the news the doctors said they wont mamagram me due to my age so they did a biopsy at first they tried to brush it under the carpet but as i know years before my mum had hodgkin's lymphoma and at first they said it was nothing to worry about till it was terminal so i pushed to see another consultant which im so lucky i did as they then told me it was breast cancer i had in my left breast and under my lymph node under my arm i had radiation then i had cemo from the start cemo was horrible it still is bad im very depressed and cant seem to shake of i just found out its spread to my bones im haveing bad cramp in neck rib liwer back and tingling in my hand due to eveything thats going on there put treatment on hold i do have family but when i was first diagnosed i did not want any family with me didnot want to have to hold there hands know that may seem harsh just felt like a fight i had to deal with alone now thats sort of bit me on the bum as there not really interest apart from my husband who has to work loads as cancer exspencive though in the uk i dont have to pay for treatment unless i was on private but as i was saying we had cancer in mine and my husband family so i tride to hide eveyone because even if the docs say you not alone you are and thats the sad thing about it kids wise i cant have them wanted them loved children i even worked at a nursery i dont know anyone thats had breast cancer im sorry i could not helped that much but im here if you ever want to chat hope you kick cancer *** or have as im just seeing how old this is