I'm not sure what I'm looking for or hoping to gain but here goes.

Out of the blue I was diagnosed with Cancer in December, although due to my usual awkward self it wasn't until February when I met my specialist team that I knew what was going on which was, diagnosis Gastrointestinal stromal tumour that's matasisized resulting in my condition being incurable and inoperable.  

I take imatinib which is a targeted treatment, I've had my first scan and so far treatment is working and the tumor has reduced in size. 

So whilst I am grateful for modern medicine and advances in cancer treatments.... I am living in the BUT.... but I still have cancer, but it's never going away but but but... On top of that I feel angry and I don't know how to make any sense of the emotions I'm experiencing.

Does anyone have any suggestions to alleviate the strong sense of despair.

Thanks in advance