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I don't know what to do?

Candyfloss777
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Stuck living with CLL, living with a 13 year relationship X partner. He has not been there for me AT ALL since diagnosis 1 year 9 months ago. He has been ignoring, and avoiding me all the time (On and off for the last  couple of years.) If I talk to him he just wants to argue (Very similar to a Narcissist?) I don't work as I did plan to start my own business after passing my diploma 2 years ago now (I unfortunately used all my savings up to do the Diploma course.) I feel I am going crazy being alone, and living with a past boyfriend. (He just gets takeaway meals, and eats in his bedroom, he goes to the launderette to wash his clothes. He was talking to me for a while (which was much better. But that all stopped again. If I see him he normally gives me a filthy look. I have had enough with learning to live with CLL, and also having to live with an x partner who is too immature to just be friends.

Oh God! I just don't know what to do now? I have rang samaratans several times (Who are brilliant) have had NHS Psychiatry which has ended due to the NHS can only afford so much (Which I understand.) 

I wish I could just sell up, but I know half the money from our house would not  be enough to get me a roof over my head. 

I just don't know what to do? I have no family, and no friends?

  • Hello Candyfloss777,

    I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through. These situations are not uncommon but I do feel for you, especially as the atmosphere in your household isn't exactly positive. It must be hard to try to engage with someone that isn't giving back, but I would say that your wellbeing is what's most important so I hope you're looking after yourself.

    It's great that you've had therapy via the NHS and while it's a shame it couldn't continue, I hope there were some learnings and positive behaviours you can continue to practise. Please don't hesitate to reach out to Samaritans again if you ever need to and we also have guidance around living with Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia and mental health and cancer, which you can refer to at anytime. If you haven't already, it must be worth contacting Citizen's Advice. They have information online or you can find a branch near you to discuss your financial situation in person. It might be that the sale of your house could allow you to rent a place of your own, but they can also discuss other options that might be available to you. 

    I hope this help in some way and please know that whatever happens there's always support out there. Cancer Chat is also here if you ever need someone to talk to. 

    I wish you all the best,

    Moderator Anastasia

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