HI Denise,

Welcome to the club! - no wonder you are feeling so low. This is not all all surprising considering how much you.ve had to go through in such a short time. You are certainly not alone. Many of us feel like this after only 1 diagnosis and you've encountered the 'double whammy'. Don't worry too much about the copious crying, as this is a great stress reliever. I am glad to hear that you are receiving good support from your hubby. Make sure to keep channels open between the two of you and let him know how you feel.

I am now 16 years down the line from 2 bouts of breast cancer and 1 of pre-cancer, all within a year from diagnosis. I had previously lost my mum to metastatic breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bone, liver and lungs. I know how much I struggled at the time, even though I am normally a very strong minded and independent person. I eventually resorted to any type of help that I could find and it did eventually improve matters, although it took a while. I went to see a counsellor at a Maggie's Centre. These centres are dotted all around the country and offer a number of valuable services, which are all free. I availed of a number of their complementary therapies to try and relieve some of the stress, as well as their seated yoga classes. I had developed bilateral lymphoedema after surgery and a nurse there showed me how to do manual lymphatic drainage to reduce the swelling. I also attended a number of local cancer centres and availed of some of their services. I attended some of Breast Cancer Now's classes on 'Moving Forward', Lingerie, Swimwear, How to manage your hair as it regrows, as well as some of their Afternoon Tea Parties, where I talked to others with cancer and exchanged tips. I also attended a Pain Management course. We formed our own Cancer Support Group after this course finished. I attended Exercise Classes. I spoke to my doctor and was eventually prescribed anti-depressants. Although I was reluctant to turn to medication, this completely changed my outlook.

I was very lucky to have a supportive husband too and he was also able to avail of some of the services at these centres, as were my children. I don't know whether or not you have considered vailing of any of these services. If not, I would highly recommend that you do. I sincerely hope that all goes well with your surgery next week. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx