Just over afew weeks, I underwent a posterior vulvectomy and bilateral groin lymph node excision (just my sentinel ones) after cancer was discovered following the removal of a small lump on my perineum. was diagnosed with Vulvar cancer/ Squamous Cell Carcinoma. A biopsy had previously indicated VIN 2-3, and since the margins weren't clear, this was deemed the best path forward.

The recovery process has been incredibly tough, and I feel like no one around me truly understands what I'm going through. I often find myself crying at night due to the pain, compounded by the unsettling reality that my body may never feel the same again. Being in my 30s, it has been difficult to come to terms with the impact of the surgery, which has been far greater than I ever anticipated. To make matters worse,

I've been dealing with infections, significant swelling, and I've lost all feeling in my right thigh, which I fear I may never regain. my groin is so swollen and being told could take long time to go down- or may need to be drained and even physio. I am adamant I have and can see signed of lymphoedema already :( Any suggestions to help prevent or limit? 

Sometimes I feel guilty for expressing my struggles, knowing there are so many others who face greater challenges including chemo and radiation. I recognise how fortunate I am to have only undergone surgery thus far. I pray for positive results, as I’m not sure how I would cope with anymore bad news. The anxiety over potential recurrence is always lingering. Given my track record, I know that rare things often happen to me, so I remain cautious.

I am waiting on my results and scared incase cancer has spread. I’m also scared if no further cancer has been found, how I’m going to cope without the fear of worrying it’ll come back because it does have a recurrence rate and most people I see has come back :( 

I don’t know really what I’m writing or what I’m asking as my heads a little all over.