First of all I’m sure we must surely all “Walk on, with hope in our hearts”…I feel pretty sure that 60% of my wellbeing is in my own head. Part of my story is how, when the physical recovery  part seemed to be going well, I joined a Cancer Wellbeing Group based at my local hospital. After a few months of sharing conversation, gardening, and music with some lovely people, I left, mainly because I felt that I was being surrounded by cancer, and that, although my time there had served it’s purpose, I now wanted to be free of cancer in all sorts of ways.

On Monday of this week, St Patrick’s Day, my partner and I sang and played an Irish and Country set at a local Independent Living establishment. So on Monday I was an entertainer.Yesterday, I spent the whole day in my partner’s garden, in the sunshine, collecting the leaves and branches cut down by a professional (76 year old!) gardener. So yesterday I was a gardener and labourer.

I don’t want to lose myself to cancer, I want to define myself by what I  still can do. That of course diminishes with age…at 75 I won’t be doing the London Marathon! 
I’ve just given up being a volunteer conservationist in my local country park, as I no longer feel physically fit enough to do the job. I will greatly miss the friends I’ve made over the past ten years, but the place we sang in ( for the first time) on Monday has now become my new challenge, with new company, and with a purpose that shouldn't be too physically demanding…for a while at least or until the residents throw rotten tomatoes!

John ( Singstrum12 is a bit formal!)