hi Mercian, 

Thank you for your reply. 

Of course there are things in life outside of your problem - i don't want to sound negative, but this time came out this way. 

I am a positive person on any level - personal, social, my time is full of activities - teaching job, art clubs, and most of all - trying to cheer up my wife! We have two wonderful children. A son and a daughter, 2 grandchildren. And that keep me going, I am lucky to have this family support, while I was in hospitals -first Covid, then prostate op, then a few times back to hospitals with sepsis. They all were around, can't wish for a better family support. 

The thing is that I still live in denial - I don't believe an iota that there is something wrong with me? don't know if you had this feeling at some point. 

But there we go, the other day I was in that swing of mood and was moaning like a baby. Good days and bad days - that is the worst side effect. 

Anyway, Thank you for you lines her, i appreciate it very much. 

Lood after yourself, 

God bless,