I'm just sitting here asking myself the same question I'm for surgery next week and I've accepted that it it's the emotional headwreck or train wreck my head is 

I had my lumpectomy 3rd December. Returned to work 2bd January. Thought I’d be fine but like you my head is a mess. Should be positive but just feel there’s a cloud over my head that keeps whispering C word in my ear. I feel old, I feel fat, I feel sad, angry, unmotivated. The weather doesn’t help with constant cloud. I guess the answer is to acknowledge your thoughts are to be expected and to find something good in your day. I bought a bag of chocolate raisins today and some lacy pants!! Small moment of self care but I’ll take it. Would be good to know how you get on 

Yes been put back a week witch hasn't helped but im accepting it . Few more scans and please God it over. Hope you enjoy your treats